Starting to Spread Those Wings...

It seems like only yesterday that Kyle was a little Tiger Cub Scout, basically showing up for the end-of-the-meeting treats and crawling around on the floor more than anything else. Since Mr.4444 is an Eagle Scout (once an Eagle, always an Eagle) and grew up with a dad who stood for the ideals of scouting, he knew the value of the lessons taught in scouting, and we wanted Kyle to have the same kind of experience. He's been involved ever since grade school.

Kyle has fond memories of (working on his Pinewood Derby cars with Grandpa 4444 (more fun than fast), and every nearly every summer, he's spent a week at Bear Paw Scout Camp. He got his first pocketknife from Grandpa 4444 and worked hard to earn his "Totin' Chip," giving him the privilege of carrying that knife at camp. At Bear Paw, Kyle developed skills, made new friends, and got eaten alive by mosquitoes, but he also had a lot of fun and reached some memorable milestones, including swimming a mile for a swimming Merit Badge (I would have drowned) and earning the Order of the Arrow honor.

As anyone who's had a scout knows, Boy Scouting requires personal sacrifice and hard work, but also that of parents and other adult leaders. I took my turn as Den Mother when Kyle was a Wolf Cub, helped with badges and service projects, and for the past few years, coordinated candy bar sales to help scouts pay for camp. Mr.4444 was also involved, of course, helping with badges and even chaperoning a couple of week-long summer camping trips to the Sylvania Wilderness Area. We've had a lot of fun as a scouting family.

Today, Kyle is 17 and a Life Scout, soon to achieve the rank of Eagle Scout. Among other requirements for earning this highest rank, the scout has to organize, lead, and manage a service project This week, Kyle wrapped up a big chunk of that project, and we're very proud of him.

For his service project, Kyle chose to help his school's student council organization get, well...better organized, taking this....

And turning it into this:

with the help of fellow scouts, some of his swim team members, and of course, Mr.4444. The project took many hours of planning: phone calls, raising of funds (Thanks, Grandma 4444, Home Depot, and Figaro's Pizza!!), organizing and directing volunteers, gathering materials, and (of course) building the shelves.

Yes, I did have to light a fire under Kyle to get him going on choosing his project and writing the lengthy proposal (he is a normal kid!) but once the spark ignited, that kid took off! Throughout this whole week-long process of the project itself, I've asked a few questions (prompts, truthfully), but have been increasingly surprised disappointed impressed by the fact that he did not need my help; he had it all under control. This kid knows what he's doing!

He's going to be an Eagle Scout, which is good,

because he's going to need those wings soon.

I Sure Hope You Pass This Test!

As a special education teacher, I am sometimes called upon to test students for disabilities. This may involve administering the Woodcock-Johnson Test of Cognitive Abilities, the TOWL (Test of Written Language), or behavioral rating scales, among others. These tests, of course, paint a picture of only part of a child's learning profile. Sometimes, there are other factors that may shed light on why a student is struggling in school academically, behaviorally, or both.   Recently, I joked about creating an assessment of my own for the parents of hard-core struggling middle school students, in the hope that some helpful insights might be gained. I'd call it the DPA, Dysfunctional Parenting Assessment. Here are a few questions whose answers I think would tell us a lot more than some of the other tests we give....

1.  Why did you enroll your child in mid-September, when you've lived just a few miles from school since July?

a)  I think it's fine. Nothing important happens in the first week of school anyway.
b)  I didn't know the start date.*
c)  I tried homeschooling, but I got sick of having her home all day it turned out to be harder than I thought.


2.  What time does your child go to sleep at night?

a.  She's usually asleep by about 9pm
b. One or two am; he can't go to sleep without his TV on and really loves those late-night shows!
c. I tell him to go to bed, but just keeps playing those video games! What am I supposed to do?!*
d. I have no idea


3.  When is the first time your child smoked cigarettes?

a. I gave him his first cigarette when he was eleven.
b. Oh, he doesn't smoke; that smell is just my smokes; I can't survive without a butt or two in the car on the way to school, but I keep the window cracked.
c.  Are you kidding me?

4.  Please rate your child's bartending skills on a scale of 1 to 10.

a. Excellent. He's a great mixer and makes a mean bloody mary!
b. Are you kidding me? She's a pro! You should see how many cans of Bud she can carry at one time!
c. Junior is a chip off the old block; he can keep up with the best of them, serving them up and throwing them back!
d. none of the above


5.  When do you plan to stop sleeping with your 6th grader?

a.  I do not sleep with my child.
b.  It's just me and junior at home here; we do everything together, including sleep. Besides, I'm lonely.
c.. He needs me. I just can't say no. If he didn't sleep in my bed, neither one of us would ever get any sleep.*


6.  How many hours of Grand Theft Auto does your child play per day?

a. none
b. two to four
c. six
d. I have no idea; he/she pretty much never stops.


7.  Which of the following describes your homework routine at home?

a. We hit the books immediately after he/she walks through the door.
b. He plays for a while, but we make sure he starts his homework after supper.
c. My child does all of her homework at school; she tells me it's done, and I trust her.*
d. If he'd bring it home, I would help him. It's not my fault he/she forgets it every day.


8.  What type of consequences does your child have when he/she gets in trouble at school?

a. None. School is school. It's not really fair to hold it against him here at home.
b. If he gets in trouble at school, I take his favorite video game and only let him play the other ones.
c. I'd punish her, but she really doesn't care, no matter what I do, so I don't even bother anymore.

9. Your child has been failing four subjects for weeks....

a. You're the teacher! Isn't it your job to fix that?
b. The teachers are just out to get him. They always have been.*
c. He's failing??


10.  How many hours per week do you spend together?

a. We share a lot of time together; the bar has double bubble from 3 to 7, and we are really getting great at pool!
b. As much as possible-I really want him to know that we are a tight family unit.
c. We do everything together. He'd rather hang out with me than kids his own age. We're best friends.*


11.  What kind of chores does your child have at home?

a. She has to feed the dog, but that's about it.
b. She has a few chores to do each week.
c. She has chores but does a crappy job, so I just do them myself, rather than fight with her.*
d. Being a kid is hard. I don't think it's fair to make her do chores that her dad and I can do.



12.  Why is your child absent so often?

a) Because I'm too hungover he's too tired to get up in the morning.
b) He's so smart, he only needs to go a couple of days a week. Besides, we're busy.
c) I can't afford a babysitter for her younger siblings.
d) My child is only absent a few days per year.

*Excuses I've actually heard from parents over the years, believe it or not.

NOTES:
-None of these situations are issues for my current students; I'm being facetious (though each of these has come up in my many years of teaching.)
-I am not saying that every struggling student has a parent at fault; I know that there are sometimes uncontrollable medical or emotional issues behind problems at school and that perfectly wonderful parents sometimes have extremely difficult children.
-I have compassion for parents who don't have the skills for dealing with difficult children, and I respect those who ask for help and take steps to become better parents.  I have little tolerance for the others.

The Travel Gods Are Trying to Tell Me Something

Many moons ago, when the kids were tiny, Mr.4444 and I rarely got to spend any time together, let alone away from home, so one year, when the Canadian company he worked for decided to fly salesmen and their wives in for the company Christmas party (no wonder they went bankrupt) I was thrilled. A party?! With grown-ups?! In Canada?! How glamorous is that?! I suddenly found dealing with baby spit-up and poopy diapers almost charming, since I had a lovely trip to look forward to.

In the days leading up to the trip, Mr.4444 had to go on ahead (probably a sales meeting or something). No problem--I was a big girl and could fly out on my own. I cheerfully made preparations for my flight and shopped for a great outfit to wear (I had to make a good impression on the boss and his wife, right?!)

Finally, the day arrived that I was to fly out, only so had a blizzard, in Green Bay. Perfect. Okay, okay--There'd still be time if I flew out the next morning. I left the kids with Grandma and Grandpa 4444 (thrilled to have them, of course!) and drove myself to the airport the next day.

In a par-for-the-course kind of way, the airline was having trouble starting the plane in the cold weather. Now, most people would have turned around and gone home upon learning that they would have to "jump-start" the plane, but not me--I was going to Canada, damn it! I didn't care if they had to push the plane; I was leaving! And finally, I got there, just in time to throw my suitcase on the bed, throw on my party outfit, and shrug at my travel-hair.

The work party was...well, a work party, a Christmas party in which I got to hear Canadians talk funny (JK) . I also had the extreme pleasure (not) of trying to argue with an ignorant mother who was appalled that I would ever suggest that she live in The States.

"Are you kidding me?! Over my dead body would I move to the U.S. I don't want my kids getting shot in school! They bring guns to school there, you know!"

Um, yeah. I know. I live there, and teach there, as a matter-of-fact, but I've never once had to wear my bullet-proof vest to school. Never mind...

Anyway, the party was fun, but short. The next morning, I had to catch my flight back home. (Of course, getting back to my house/chores/kids was uneventful.)

The next time that Mr.4444 and I had a plan to rendezvous in a foreign country was when he had a sales meeting in Las Vegas. My flight out was scheduled for Tuesday, September 12, 2001.

Of course, we all know how that one turned out.


I've told this story as part of my entry into a VISA $200 Gift Card Giveaway on Michelle (Honest & Truly's blog, here.) You can also enter for more chances (with the same story!) at the blogs listed below:
Muse Reviews
Sweet as Punkin Pie
Busy Mom
Cookin' Canuch
Long Hollow Conversations
Stepford Stories
Slice of Pink

My Favorites Cup Overfloweth

I'm still working on getting through the last two weeks of Friday Fragments, but I thought I'd share a couple of Favorite FF so far....

***SmellyAnn's recently offered this one...

☼ Sophia said, "Mommy, when I'm a grown-up, are you going to die?" And I said, "Well, yeah... eventually, honey." And she said, "No, you won't, Mommy, 'cause I'll take care of you!"

Awwww. ♥

☼ And then she said, "And tell me which way to go to get to the doctor!"

She's always worrying about how she's going to find her way around (to the store, to the movies, everywhere) when she's a grown-up. Like I'm just going to blindfold the poor kid, spin her around, and throw her out into the world!

It cracked me up, and Kori's resulting comment was priceless, as well:

My 10-year-old used to ask me all the time if I was SURE we weren't getting lost...Later, I found out that he was half BLIND, so maybe that's why. Because he hasn't said that since we got his glasses....

***My heart goes out to Karen Meg, who had her first-ever Christmas without her dad and reflected on what helps.....
"Thank goodness I have my kids. They are bringing the spirit of the holidays into our household whether I want it here or not. I especially love the singing, the excitement in the little one's eyes as she pulls out each decoration to put on the garland or tree, humming a holiday tune:

"Elyse-mommy-da, elyse-mommy-da, elyse-mommy-da, la-la-la...Elyse-Mommy-Da, mommy, guess what? It means Merry Christmas -- in FRENCH!"

God, I love my kids.

With a week to go, Elyse-mommy-da to you all ..."

[updated. MUST add another one!] From Michelle, at Just Eat It

Wednesday

And then coming out of the bedroom I kicked my

most favorite rechargeable handheld device

down the steps. Noooooo I cried in slow mo watching my day spiral down the newly snaked drain...
Thank my lucky stars it came to a clattering stop at the first landing.

I use that thing every day. Sometimes 3 times a day. Except the days I'm at work cause by the time I get home I'm just too tired.

But man, what if its cracked? Will it still work?

Will it get the job done?
How will I get through the holidays without it? And the last thing I want to do is drag my kids out to shop for a replacement...
All these thoughts raced through my mind as I ran down the steps to assess the damage.

Flip the switch...
Music to my ears...the reassuring hum... the weight of it in my hand...

Dustbuster. This girl's best friend.

Thanks for the gems, girls...

Christmas Re-Cap, Photo Version

On Christmas Eve, we snuck out to our Social Experiment and added a little garland.

For those wondering, our little experiment was 100% more successful than last year, having at least five or six ornaments added by anonymous neighbors, so we're happy, especially considering the cold/snowy/rainy weather we've had all week. Here's the end result...

Next year, we're shooting for at least ten ornaments :)

Christmas Day was filled with happy kids....

and happy grandmas....

Grandma 4444 treated us to a prime rib dinner tonight. We prepared it at our house, with Mr.4444 working his magic as the rest of us watched.

I've only had prime rib a few times in my lifetime, but I have to say it was the best meat I've ever tasted. Wow. Vegetarians Beware: This next photo could be disturbing....

As Mr.4444 prepared it, the kids recited lines from this video (which is hilarious and sad at the same time....Poor little kid!) [BTW, the lemon was NOT part of the prime prep, in case you were wondering! :) ]

Can you see what's wrong with in this picture?

No, it's not Amy reaching across the table (she's serving the prime), or the bottle of beer (hey, beer goes with prime, or so I'm told). I'll wait and see if anyone catches it...

As delicious as the meal was, the best part was sitting at the table, long after the eating had ended, telling stories and laughing (hard). We are so blessed...

Finally, I leave you with a photo of one of Mr.4444's and my favorite gifts, played on my computer repeatedly Christmas Day--Brought to you by Kyle and Kendall, courtesy of a fun booth they found at the mall called Bobbing Heads (picture "Elf Yourself," in DVD version.) We laughed so hard!

They sat in front of a green screen and did this in the middle of the mall, as other Christmas shoppers watched. (I guess the booth can be rented for parties, too, which sounds fun to me.)

I wasn't sure if my pics really fit in Weekly Winners or Sundays in My City, but here they are. If you have a photo post from your Christmas, feel free to drop the link in your comment :)

Friday/Saturday Fragments, Episode #76

Because my heart is so full of Christmas joy, I'm happy to have Friday Fragments, where we unload the excess. Here are my random thoughts from the week:

***I hope Santa was good to you or that your Hanukkah was wonderful.

**When did teenage girls begin aspiring to dress like hobos? One of Kendall's favorite gifts this year was her "hobo mittens (finger-less gloves with removable mitten covers.) (They're adorable.)

***I had to laugh--Heaven forbid I should blindly sit in any old chair to open gifts at Grandma's 4444's house! This morning, Kyle politely yet firmly let me know that I was sitting in his "gift-opening chair." Ahh....traditions....

***To be honest, I haven't gotten through half of last week's Friday Fragmenter's posts, but so far, here's my Favorite:

My daughter got married this week.... she's three! She describes her husband differently every time. Originally he was black and wore black clothes, and they had met in New Orleans. Then he was pink with pink eyes but they still met in New Orleans. Now he's shifted into Prince Eric (from The Little Mermaid) She cracks me up! :D The Infamous Jillean

Jill, please accept this award as a token of my appreciation for your cute little bride. Congrats to both of you :)

***Just because I love you all, I went back to the candy store and tried one of the "snowballs." One snowball cost me 88 cents. And yes, it was good, but not $15.25 per-pound-good.

***My library card has been getting a lot of use lately. No, I don't check out books with it; it's sitting on my nightstand. Since I don't have any fingernails, I use my library card sometimes to scratch my itchy legs before I go to bed at night. (Sorry if that's disturbing to you; Kendall says it's "sick." It is what it is...)

***Shame on Arrow Trucking Corporation, which abruptly shut down its operations on Tuesday and left its drivers stunned in cities all over the country, and kudos to Schneider National (and others) for reaching out to the shafted drivers (no pun intended) to help them get home without having to get on buses. (Read the story here.)

***Here's another random reason why I LOVE teaching 6th graders (new for me). On the last day before break, with two boys working on some homework in my classroom, I spontaneously started singing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer--not super loud or anything, just happily, as I was writing something on the board. Suddenly, I heard the sweet little voices of my students enthusiastically joining in. Seriously; my heart melted, and I feel a little lump in my throat writing this.

***Got Fragments? Drop your FF post link here and visit some of the other fragmenters; you'll be glad you did :)

Sketchy Santas

This is probably not what you'd expect to see on my blog on Christmas Eve (a disturbing video), but it landed in my lap today, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Even if you only watch the first minute, I'm sure you'll have something to say about it.



I found the video on Sketchy Santas. (And in case you're not all up on 2009 slang terms, here's the definition of "sketchy.")

Here's hoping your Christmas is far from sketchy!

P.S. Don't forget--Friday Fragments will be moved to Saturday this week :)

Checking In

Today's my last day at school, and tonight is the Tinytown Community Choir Christmas Concert, so I'm pretty excited, not to mention busy! Just want to let you know that I hope your holiday celebrations are filled with everyone you love and that whatever you give (time, money, presents), your heart is filled to overflowing with joy as a result. If you're the praying type, please remember those whose hearts are broken due to loss this holiday season. You are all in my prayers...

I'll be back...

Ohhhh, Dad!

This girl here? She got asked out by a classmate, who made his request via a friend. Her reply?

"No. If he wants to ask me out, tell him to ask me himself."

My heart soared to hear this news. This girl has self-esteem. This girl raised the bar for this boy, and he met the challenge. This is Kendall's first "relationship" with a boy, because she is level-headed and has never thought it necessary to have a boyfriend. Smart Girl knew they were more trouble than they were worth in grade school and middle school, certainly. (Let's hope the same doesn't hold true with high school and that they are worth it.)

I'm not really worried. I said she has a good head on her shoulders, and she does. Now we only have to worry about him.

Just kidding. S is apparently a very nice, shy young man who gets good grades and is a dedicated athlete (with no driver's license and no cellphone.)

I'm not worried.

Mr.4444, on the other hand....He's been telling Kendall since she could walk that any boy wanting to date her will have to face quite a grilling upon first entering our house. He's made this pronouncement several times in the past few years, and Kendall is pretty sure he's serious. Mr.4444 called home from a business trip this week and asked her,

"What time is S coming over for his interview this weekend?"

"Daaaad, come on. You're kidding, right?"

"Of course I'm not kidding, Kendall. I'm as serious as a heart attack! Now, what time is he coming over?"

Kendall told me there is no way she's inviting S to come over; she's too worried about Mr.4444 embarrassing her.

I say, "Works for me!"

I can't wait to go to work today, so I can finally relax! (JK!!)

It's been a crazy, crazy multitasking weekend. Tonight is a perfect snapshot--watching football (grrrr), helping cook supper, writing out Christmas cards, getting rid of a virus on my laptop, and making Norwegian krumkake. I wrote a whole post about it last year (with the recipe) on Mrs.4444 Cooks called When Kaka Means Yummy, so I'll stick to the highlights here.

Krumkake in pictures.....

It didn't start out well. (That's two cups of flour I dumped all over the counter.)

I mixed up the batter on Saturday morning and started cooking Sunday evening. Here's what they look like...
Notice I didn't say what they're supposed to look like, because I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be perfectly round and have no jagged edges, but that's just not how I roll, and I have it on excellent authority that crooked tastes better.

Of course, my helper is always nearby....

Cooper just loves krumkake (and yes, and burnt-anything, and dead animals, and cat turds, but I'm pretty sure he likes krumkake the most.)

The best part of tonight, though, was that after two weeks or more, my friend Dawn and I got to talk on the phone for about ten minutes. It was great to hear her voice again (she lives nearby, but we just can't seem to find the time to get together!) Normally, while talking on the phone at home, I get a lot accomplished (dishes, laundry, etc.) but tonight, it didn't go so well...

Dawn, let's try to get together over the holidays, okay?

Sundays in My City, Hodge-Podge Edition

Sundays in My City is brought to you by the most popular anonymous person I know, Unknown Mami.

Quite a bit of randomness for you this week...

Know what this is? (Scroll to the last pic for the answer.)

See this eyesore of a sign? It's one of several that have been hung up in our used-to-be favorite restaurant in Green Bay. Yes, that's a wine rack next to the sign; quite the ambiance, no?

There were 5-6 such signs (about 3 feet by 5 feet) like that hanging within view of our table. Just plain obnoxious. Because of that (and the menu changes), we were very disappointed and won't be back.

Courtesy of Beernsten's Old-Fashioned Candy Store, here are my favorite kind of snowballs...

And yes, that's $15.25 per pound. (I lied when I said they're my favorite. I've never been able to afford one, haha.) Fortunately, there are many other, more-affordable offerings at this delightful store.

This "bulletin board" in our middle school's library is so cute, I had to include it today. My co-worker, Peggy, is very creative. I love it...

Okay, here's the answer to the question I asked earlier...

It's a snow fence, designed to keep blowing snow away from one's driveway. This is after our first snow this year. (Yes, I said first snow.)

That's it for Sundays in My City. To find out what's going on in the rest of the world, visit Unknown's Mami's blog, and tell her I said hi! :)

What Did You Say??

Sorry, all of my Haloscan comments are gone :(

I've gone back to Blogger comments, because Haloscan switched over to a new program, and I had problems I don't care to work through at this time. I do have the comments backed up in a file (a lot of good that does me, right?) so if I choose to switch to Disqus, I'll be able to import them. I just wish there were more options...

On the bright side, I have my old comments back (from my first year of blogging.)

And now, I'm a born-again comment virgin. (I feel so innocent!!!)

Secret Santa Revealed!

Gorgeous card, huh? And it's handmade. No, of course I did not make it; whoever made this card has a lot of talent and a heart of gold, as evidenced by the loving care she put into my Secret Santa gift, which I received in a nice, heavy package in the mail on Friday. Seriously, the card is so beautiful, I would have been content with that (well, and the licorice and chocolate-covered pretzel rods.) Just look at the care she took in wrapping the gifts. ( Dina, I feel like such a slacker for putting yours in a gift bag. Sorry.)

Try not to be too jealous of this loot:

The photo does not do the scarf justice; it's absolutely gorgeous (and made in Italy, no less!) How did my Secret Santa know that I have been wearing long-johns, scarves, and gloves at school every day? Yes, it's that cold in some classrooms (blasted school budget cuts!!) This scarf is going to make me look stylish and distract students from my red, cold nose and chattering teeth. JK

So, yes, totally spoiled on the treats, as well as the card and the scarf. But there was more. Check out this amazing, one-of-a-kind, hand-made scrapbook; it's a thing of beauty...

Every single page is a work of art...

I hate to put too many pics in it, for fear of covering up the handiwork!

I guess I was a good girl this year! (or at least very sneaky about the bad stuff.) Thank you, Secret Santa, whoever you are! If Santa is half as good to you, you'll be very, very happy!

And thank you, Georgie and Amy for hosting the 2nd Annual(?) Secret Santa Soiree! I hope Santa is good to you :)

Friday Fragments Episode #75

The holidays are at hand and I know you're stressed, so I'm glad you're here. Take a break from the holiday hustle and bustle; plop yourself on the couch and unload all of those cumbersome bags full of fragments. Wondering what the heck I'm talking about? Read this.

***We'll miss you.... Thank heaven the new season of The Bachelor is just around the corner; that should take the sting out.

***My sister Judy has moved with her husband to Tulsa, Oklahoma from Memphis Tennessee. She's told me that they don't recycle there, which makes me think Tulsa is inhabited by crazy people. (Only kidding, but come on. They don't recycle?! This is 2009!) Judy's looking for a job and for normal people to become friends with, so let me know if you live there (if you are normal, and not a serial killer or anything.) Thanks.

***What is up with the idiots who keep installing the toilet paper dispensers in bathrooms in such a way that you have to almost lie on the floor to get any from them (they're so low)? Drives me CRAZY. Is there some rule against putting them where people can reach the the paper?

***You're going to laugh about this, but I wrote an email to Dr. Phil this week, encouraging him to learn proper blogging lingo, because it drives me crazy when he says, "I wrote a blog about this issue..." Completely bonkers--I can't stand it, and he says it frequently. It's a POST, not a blog. I told him that if he doesn't want to sound like a poser, he needs to learn the lingo. I'm pretty sure he'll thank me and hire me to help him stay hip in the blogging sense from now on.

***My Favorite Friday Fragment from last week came from Hallie, of Wonderful World of Wieners....

Snow and wieners do NOT play well together. We got about 11 inches of the evil white stuff Wednesday which neither thrilled nor excited my low rider pups. No surprise there. Low riding bodies means low riding hoo-haas and hoo-hees. And those, my 2 legged friends, are NOT body parts (human or otherwise) that belong on ice.

Hallie, the "prize" goes to you this week:

***For what it's worth, we went to Tom, Dick, and Harry's restaurant one night this week but had to leave before we even got our drinks; that place (music and people) is LOUD (25 foot high metal ceiling, concrete floor.) Our decision was unanimous, which tells you this isn't just because I'm getting old.

***Here's a shot of the amazing snow angel Kyle made on the deck the other night. I guess you have to be wearing shorts and a t-shirt to get one this good :) (Check out this post for the video!)

***Made a delicious new recipe this week: Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Black Beans and Chili-Lime Dressing. Yum.

***From Mr.4444:
If olive oil comes from olives, and peanut oil comes from peanuts, where does baby oil come from? (Yeah, he's a big-time philosopher, that man.)

Okay, just dump all of your fragments under my McKlinky "tree;" we can have a little "gift" exchange....

FYI to Fragmenters

I'm going to fragment next week, but since Christmas is on Friday, I'm going to move it to Saturday for those of us who are up for it :)

Snow Angel?

Mr.4444 and Kyle made a silly bet the other night; the loser had to go outside and make a snow angel. Kendall captured enough of the result to make you laugh :)

We Elves Are at It Again...

I mentioned this last year and am bringing it up again as a reminder to those of you who said you'd like to try this in your neck of the woods. Kendall and I set up a social experiment; we placed a single ornament on a tree that's growing in the boulevard at our neighborhood entrance. Here's how it started...

We hoped that others would notice and decide to add an ornament of their own. Here's how it ended, on Christmas Eve....

We ended up adding the garland and the rest of the red bulbs, but three other neighbors caught on to our idea and added ornaments of their own (they're just hard to see in this pic.) Since it was our first year doing this, we weren't disappointed with the results. This year, we're hoping even more people get in the spirit. I hung the first ornament this morning.

Keeping my elfin fingers crossed!

(P.S. If you decide to do the same, I'd love to hear about it :)

Commenting Craze

If you've tried to comment but have been unsuccessful, I apologize. Apparently, Haloscan has gone wacky on me, and I'm not quite ready to switch to Disqus. I will temporarily be switching to Blogger once I figure our how not to lose all of my old comments!

Notes on the Season

Lots of holiday-related fragments on my mind tonight...

***I have become consciously aware that this is our last Christmas with Kyle living under our roof (gulp.)

***I wasn't going to send Christmas cards this year, but then I realized that we have a beautiful photo of the kids together (from Kyle's senior picture sitting), and it would be a shame to waste the opportunity to send one last pic of the kids together (sniff.)

***I am confident that I will never be the type of person who signs the Christmas card for all family members and the pets. Maybe if I had no kids, but I'm positive I will never be signing, "Mr. & Mrs. 4444 and Cooper."

***Our cards read, "Hope your holidays are filled with....." Just so you know, that is in no way intended to be politically correct; I just liked the look of the card. If you want one and are not usually on my list, send your name and address to me, and I'll happily send you one.

***This year, for the first time in my life, I know a Jewish person. I sent my first Happy Hanukkah message, via email. (Hey, it's the thought that counts. Besides, I'm pretty sure there are no Happy Hanukkah cards sold in Green Bay. Just kidding, I think.) Happy Hanukkah, Melisa!!! :) (Note: I had to spell-check Hanukkah and from here on out promise to spell it correctly :)

***I have eaten almost all of the vanilla taffy that I bought last weekend for the kids' stockings. Guess another trip to Beernsten's Candy is in my future. (Darn.)

***It really irritates me when I see signs (or hear commercials) that tell people to "Get your stocking stuffers here!" WTH, People? Hello?! Have you noticed there are little believers in Santa all over the place? Grrrr.

***At choir practice tonight, during Breath of Heaven, I was moved to tears. (Here's Kazzy's version.) I've always been sensitive to the sound of voices raised in song via choirs. Usually, I'm in the audience. What a wonderful gift it is to be part of something so beautiful.

***We had a raffle at school last week, and the first two prizes chosen were musical ornaments that matched this one, which I wrote about two Christmases ago. The boys who chose them were positively beaming, clearly thinking ahead to Christmas morning and the smiling faces of the recipients. What a great feeling, to help fill kids with Christmas Spirit.

***I found the ornaments mentioned above while purging my Christmas decorations. I highly recommend doing this; many of us have far more holiday decorations than we need, and there are those who would happily receive them.

***Do you know someone who's alone or feeling sad this season? Why not consider inviting him or her to help decorate cookies, attend a choir concert, or join you for church services? At the very least, a note or card would be a thoughtful gesture. Just a thought...

Hope this finds you feeling joyful and not too stressed out...

Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't

Lest you think I'm a perfect parent, I figured I'd confess one of my parenting mistakes. Or was it?

When the kids were very small, another parent shared her feelings the "Santa Thing" with me and a small group of other moms. She said that when she found out there was no Santa, it totally rocked her world (in a bad way). It shook the foundation of trust she had for her parents, even going so far as making her doubt they were telling the truth about God and Jesus. Because of that, she did not encourage her own kids to believe in Santa. Her story kind of shook me; as a parent, I wasn't sure what was the right thing to do.

In spite of my own revelations about believing in Santa, I thought the whole Santa thing was really cool, and I wanted our kids to experience that, as did Mr.4444. We decided to celebrate the Santa tradition, and that's what I always said when the kids asked about Santa, "Our family celebrates the Santa tradition." We didn't let Santa be the focus of Christmas; he only brought the stuff in their stockings and one or two other gifts (the best gifts came from Mom and Dad), but I have to admit to pulling the "Santa's watching, you know" card a time or two.

I digress here to mention the time that Kendall (age 3) was lying on her bed, being naughty, instead of settling down for bed, when I (in a weak moment) invoked, "Kendall, Santa is watching you right now, you know." Alarmed, she bolted upright and exclaimed, "He can see me?! In my underwear?!!" So cute.

As the years went on, she asked once or twice about Santa, but not in a way that told me she really wanted to know the truth. She was six when she finally pressured me about our being Santa, and because she clearly knew the truth, and I just can't lie, I admitted the truth. She beamed and declared, "I knew it!" She was so full of herself for having figured it out (she insisted that Kyle had not told her, and I believed it.) I reassured her that she would still get presents and that we would still have many, many fun Christmases. That was the end of that, or so I thought...

Six months later, first thing one early August morning, I was in bed when Kendall came down from her bedroom and burst into tears in our bedroom doorway. Taken by surprise, I asked her what was wrong. In between choking sobs, she wailed, "I wish I didn't know about Santa!! Why did you tell me?!"

Talk about a guilt trip! I felt like crap. (Still do, a little, but I don't know that I would do it differently.) My heart broke a little for her, I guess because I remembered what it felt like to know the truth. She was only six, for crying out loud; maybe I should have lied.

Today, at 14, Kendall is an extremely well-adjusted, mature young woman. I'm pretty sure she wasn't scarred for life through the Santa disclosure. And who know? Maybe she just faked the crying to ensure that my parental guilt would result in generous Christmases for the rest of her life?

No way--I've got it on good authority that she's always been on the "Nice" list (except for a bedtime or two.)

Have You Been Good?

Taking the day off to take care of Christmas business. If you leave your gift request in the comments, I'll put in a good word for you with Santa. The sky's the limit (but only if you've been good, of course!)

Christmas Revelations

I have very fond childhood memories surrounding Christmas. Even though we had nine kids and little means, I always remember Christmas as a favorite time of year. Mom worked hard to make it special. We strung popcorn for the tree, sung tons of Christmas carols, and baked cookie after cookie in anticipation of the big day.

I clearly remember sneaking down the stairs on Christmas Eve and checking out our loot, which was always laid out neatly across the couch. We would always have a new pair of pajamas and a hat or scarf with mittens, or slippers lovingly crocheted by Mom. If other gifts were wrapped, I don’t recall, but we would also receive something fun, yet small; like a doll outfit, book, or board game.

I have vivid memories of our stockings, hung “by the chimney with care,” even though we had a chimney and no fireplace. The stocking always contained fruit (apple, orange), nuts in the shell, old-fashioned Christmas candy, and maybe a tiny trinket of some kind. Santa also always added candy canes to our Christmas tree before he left. It was magical.

The day that I learned that there was no Santa has never left my mind. I recall watching TV, becoming giddy, exclaiming, “I can’t wait for SANTA to come!” I remember Mom calling me to her bedroom and breaking the news. The only words I remember her saying are, “no Santa.” I was devastated; the fantasy I had enthusiastically embraced year after year was now over. With six older siblings (four of them brothers!), it was a miracle that I had still believed, but I did. No Santa?! I was heartsick, and it had little to do with gifts and everything to do with no longer being able to believe in something as good and pure and loving as Santa. (If you know my childhood, you can appreciate how I needed that fantasy.)

Years later, even though I had grown up, I resented my mom for telling me the truth about Santa before I felt ready to hear it. I even complained to a few friends that she had been insensitive and thoughtless to ruin it for me when I was clearly not ready to hear the truth. I puzzled as to why she would do that. I wondered if she thought I was too old to believe? (I don’t remember how old I was.) I even asked Mom about it, and she said she honestly had no memory of it.

Then one day, while reading a Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul book, I read the reason my mom had blown Santa’s cover. (No, it wasn’t actually her story, but it could have been.) For the mother in the story, financial survival was a daily struggle. She worked hard to put food on the table and clothes on her daughter’s back, but she often had to send her to bed with a growling stomach. When Christmas Eve arrived, she knew she had nothing to offer her daughter. She was a wonderful child; thoughtful, sweet, helpful. The mother felt horrible that her little girl would find nothing under the tree on Christmas day, and she feared that knowing that Santa brought toys only to good little boys and girls, she would think she was undeserving of Santa’s gifts. So, she told her daughter the truth about Santa. The young woman writing the story was sharing it because she was grateful.

It was then that I understood Mom’s likely motivation that day so long ago. Although she must have known it would disappoint me, she worried more about the impression I would be left with to have so little from Santa that year. If I knew, she might also be able to provide at least something to my two younger siblings. Rather than selfishness, she was acting out of desperation and out of love. Such are the realities of living in poverty during this time of year. And while I still remember that day, I no longer hold resentment for it. I joyously recall our Christmases, and I am grateful for having a mother who taught me that Christmas is not all about Santa.

[Originally posted November 27, 2007]

Friday Fragments, Episode # 74

We've got fragments!

Yes, we do!
We've got fragments,
How 'bout you?!

Can you tell I was watching middle school cheerleaders tonight? If you're looking for Fragments, you really have come to the right place; I'm just stir-crazy already from the 14 inches of snow we got on Wednesday. Let's get down to business! [Click on the beautiful button above to get the details.]

***I heard these on the announcements at school this week:

"A pencil case came up missing after the basketball game last Thursday night. In the pencil case was a very expensive retainer." I'd hate to be that kid.

"7th graders: Tomorrow during lunch, all band students in Mrs. B, and Mrs. W's homerooms will eat first, regardless of color." See, cuz we're an equal-opportunity middle school. (Just kidding--Kids' ID's are color-coded, but this cracked me up, so I'm sharing it. Read it again, and it will crack you up, too.)

***Cooper becomes a whining pain-in-the-butt ten minutes before Mr.4444 comes home from wherever he may be. I think that's the weirdest thing ever; how does the dog know his master is almost home, regardless of how irregular his schedule is??

***I organize the Secret Santa at work. The first year that I did it, I made the mistake of giving people each other's names, thinking nothing of it. Later, I learned that one recipient had re-gifted her presents to her Secret Santa. Isn't that hilarious? Can you imagine her embarrassment when she found out who her SS was?!

***And speaking of Secret Santa, I hope I'm not getting stiffed this year. (Watching the mailbox with anticipation.)

***If you should be grocery shopping and come upon a bottle of Dawn Botanicals Honeysuckle and Rain-scented dish soap, don't be afraid to pick up a bottle for me as a Christmas gift, haha. Seriously, though, I am definitely not one of those people who gets hooked on buying certain scents, but that one hooked me just long enough to fall in love and find it no longer sold in my area. Yes, I joined Alice.com just to see if they had it, and they do, but it's only in a 10-oz bottle, and I just don't like buying items in tiny containers like that (I don't like having to contribute to the landfill so often.)

***Anyone know where I could upload audio and get the html code for sharing???

***Gladys wrote my Favorite Friday Fragment this week, but it's too long to put here (shocking, I know.) It's very funny, though, so read it here. Scroll down to the little dog and get ready to laugh. Well done, Gladys! Here's your award....

***Caution dodged a bullet this year...I wanted to share her cute fragment, to which many of us can relate...

"That same younger son told me he doesn't believe now. I worried that he meant Santa, but then was stricken with guilt and wondered if he meant God. What he meant was Rudolph, because a red nose really couldn't help someone see in the fog now, could it?"

***I am SO excited about the surprise Christmas present I have finished for a blogging friend. Now, if I only had her contact info. If you know her and could email me with the details, I would be much obliged.

***Here's some advice from Kendall, who got a text from a friend dealing with this issue: No matter how good an idea it might seem in the movies, never put gum behind your ear.

That's it for me! How about you?