Friday Fragments/Friday's Freewrite

It's time for our weekly "brain dump," "thought purge," "mind cleanse," or whatever you like to call it; your chance to unload the random, miscellaneous thoughts/observations/quotes that are cluttering up your brain and dying to get out. Friday Fragments and Friday's Freewrite (hosted by Sara, of Ordinary and Awesome) are the best way to share those bits that were to short for stand-alone posts, but you couldn't let go. To learn more about either one, click on the buttons above.

***If you haven't seen my Be Bright Pink Giveaway post, please check it out. Swag package includes coupons for free Starbucks ice cream, a Go-Girl, a Mary Kay lip gloss sample, and much more! Deadline for entries is Monday.

***Like Twitter? Think Twitter is stupid? Here's a parody you might like, no matter how you feel. I also found this article about Twitter Etiquette, which is interesting. The post was written by Jeremy Bray, at GlobalGeekNews.com, who also wrote a follow-up article on Twitter Etiquette, inspired by comments he received on the first one. If you Twitter and don't want to annoy the crap out of other Twitter users, Jeremy says there are things you should/shouldn't do, though whether or not he is right is up for debate. I think he would hate me, as I broke several of his rules just last night. (Feel free to set me straight.)

***Feeling some withdrawals from BlogHer. I was appalled yesterday when I went to the grocery store and they actually made me pay for my groceries! Don't they know how influential I am and that they should have given me those items for free? Sheesh!

***Mel's new hairdo was my Favorite Friday Fragment from last week-WOW! Doesn't she look amazing?! (Her husband must feel like he's cheating on her now.)Here's your award, Mel, although you are probably thrilled enough without it! :)***Our newest Fragmenter, Stephanie, of Mama Still Wears Gucci, shared this fragment, which I thought others might also appreciate (it cracked me up):

Joshua loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I HATE it when James fixes them for him, because he takes the knife and dives to the very bottom of the peanut butter and scoops out a giant glob, which not only makes for a huge mess when my two year old wants to eat it, but it also leaves a giant, gaping hole in the peanut butter jar. I HATE that. I like the surface of the peanut butter to be nice and even, thank you.

Do you share Stephanie's strong feelings about peanut butter jar aesthetics? Would you like to join her support group?

***I've been adding some blogs to my reader from business cards received at the conference. FYI, unless you are my BFF, I will not follow your blog if every post has a link to "read more here..." Can't explain it; I just don't like it. Sorry. Also, if your font is 8pt or smaller, I'm out of there. I'm 46 years old--my eyes don't work like they used to, I'm going to be reminded of that every time I go to your site, so I'm just going to avoid that.

***I've been doing a lot of cleaning of cupboards so far this summer. Here's what I found in one of them. Any suggestions?

***As I was cleaning and deciding what to keep, I just kept thinking, "Losing this item does not erase the memory of the event." For example, why in the world have I kept every single movie stub I ever got? Seriously; a hundred years from now, all anyone will have to do is look up movies in Google to see what movies were playing back in the late 70's and on. My stubs will not tell anyone who I went with or whether or not the movie made a difference in my life (none of them did, actually). I've decided the stubs can go to the recycling bin. Besides, I have a blog now; any memories worth keeping are slowly being recorded here (and backed up, I might add). I think it's time to let go of a lot more "stuff."

***I'm all caught up with last week's Friday Fragmenters, but my Reader is still pretty much full. If you've written a recent post you really liked (but I might have missed) and want me to read, please add it to your comments.

Got Fragments? Do link up! Link up at Sara's place, too, by clicking on the Friday's Freewrite button. And don't be afraid to visit other Fragmenters; you might make a new friend :)

Best of

Today, I just want to share something with you; writings that I have found very moving. These posts are my top three favorites from the BlogHer Keynote Addresses, in which talented writers read their posts to the large assembly. They made me laugh til I cried and cried til I....

(I know, I know, but no one had any tissues, and I didn't want to leave and miss something good!!)

In short, these posts touched me, so I wanted to share them with you. Choose one or read them all, you'll be glad you did.

Stuck in the Middle With You, is a humorous piece from Knotty Yarn. Here's the video version, which I think is the best, (because she reads it with such great dramatic effect. This post is funny, and kind of offensive to some, so don't read it if you're the wilting-flower type. ) If it doesn't play well, click on the link at the start of this post.

This one is beautiful and made me cry at BlogHer: 5, from Black Hockey Jesus (whose blog is private, I guess) with a message to his little girl.

Forgiveness Where It Belongs, by Grace Davis, of State of Grace. This one ripped me up a bit, but it's my favorite. It's not a "lollipops and puppies" post, though, so read it at your own risk.

For all 21 BlogHer Keynote posts, click HERE.

I know you have a favorite post or two (your own, or someone else's.) I would love to read it. Don't be afraid to drop the link(s) in your comment. Also, check out some of the other commenters' links; you're sure to find some gems.

Spelling "Tests"

The other day, I was missing a family friend, Joanie, who still lives in tiny Calumet, Michigan. I thought she might be on Facebook, but did not see any profiles that were surely hers, so I figured I'd phone her. I didn't have Joanie's phone number, so I called her MIL, who is in her late 70's and not in the greatest of health.

Hi, Lois! How are you?

[Insert litany of terrible health problems for the entire family here (poor thing.)]

I was wondering if you or Joanie might be on Facebook?

What?!

Facebook.

Spacebook?

No FACEbook.

What's Spacebook? No, I don't have that. What is that?

It's on the computer. FACEbook, with an F, like "Frank." FACEBOOK.

Oh, no. I don't have a computer.

I had to smile. Lois gave me Joanie's work number.

Joanie was busy, so I had to leave a message with a young co-worker. When I gave her my last name, she said, "Okay," and we hung up, but I did a double-take; that is the first time EVER that I have not had to spell our last name for a stranger. Most people, upon hearing the spelling, still spell it wrong; they always either add a particular letter or subtract the one that's already there. It is annoying, yet funny.

The reason the Yooper on the other end of the phone already knew how to spell our name is that it's a Swedish name, and the U.P. is full of Swedes, so it was not foreign to her. Makes me want to take the four-hour drive up there, just to visit, even though we no longer have grandparents up there to see. Calumet is the home of many Finlanders and Swedes; a stubborn hearty lot, which explains how they've survived the brutal winters up there for generations.

And why many of them (including Joanie) have no interest in joining "Spacebook."

Be Bright Pink Giveaway

See these gorgeous, young women? Don't they look like they are out on the town for a night of fun?! In fact, I met Lindsay, Leigh and Kelly at the BowlHer event at BlogHer, and I am very glad I did, because these girls are inspiring. See, they weren't partying at the event; they were there to raise awareness about Bright Pink, the only national, non-profit organization exclusively dedicated to breast and ovarian cancer prevention.

What would you do if someone told you that you had an 87% chance of getting breast cancer? Lindsay Avner heard those words at just 22 years of age, which started a personal journey she had feared for years. In 2006, Lindsay started Bright Pink to help teach young women to take control of their own health and to offer education and support to those whose lives have been touched by breast and/or ovarian cancer. She is a passionate young woman with a light around her that attracts others. Lindsay and her her many supporters organization are making a difference.

Lindsay could hardly stand by idly when faced with cancer in her own life; her grandmother and great grandmother had died of breast cancer. Her mom fought and beat breast and ovarian cancer when Lindsay was just 12 years old. Because of breast cancer research, Lindsay was able to learn that she carries the gene for breast cancer and thus had an 87% chance of developing it herself. To find out what she did about that, watch the video on Bright Pink's Homepage--you have the heart of a tree stump if you don't find that video moving and inspiring.I got goosebumps (more than once) listening to Kelly and Leigh share their passion for Bright Pink, which offers the following (and more):

*Education on detection, risk factors, etc.

*E-Reminders for monthly self breast exams

*An active forum offering answers, support and friendship

*PinkPals...One-on-one peer support for young women at high risk for breast or ovarian cancer (volunteers are needed!)

Bright Pink has only been around for three years, but it is growing exponentially, and I want to help. There are so many ways you could make a difference, from easy to difficult:

*Educate your self about breast and ovarian cancer here
*Purchase a pack of Orbit Whitening Bubble Gum next month (it's a pink package) 10% of the profits will go to Bright Pink
*Sign up to join Bright Pink and receive emails about BrightPink events in your area
*Copy the Bright Pink button and put it on your blog, linking it back to Bright Pink
*Purchase one of Bright Pink's adorable tees/tanks (only $15-$20)
*Shop at LuxGodess, which is a proud supporter of Bright Pink
*Make a tax-deductible donation to Bright Pink
*Become a corporate sponsor
Okay, okay, I'll get to the Giveaway already. Since I received so much "swag" goodies at BlogHer and feel so strongly about Bright Pink's, I've collected up a number of freebies (at least ten) and am offering them in this Giveaway in the form of a "Swag Bag" for the lucky winner. Here's what to do if you want to win:

**Add a Bright Pink Button to your website. Choose any of those in this post or in my sidebar (copy and paste and then link to www.bebrightpink.org.) Then let me know that you have done so. This is the only requirement to enter. The remaining two are optional but will count as extra entries...

**Include this giveaway in a post (Friday Fragments are always nice....heehee :) (3 extra entries)
**Donate in some way to Bright Pink (clothing purchase, donation of money, etc.) (10 entries)

The deadline to enter is midnight on Monday, August 3rd. The winner will be announced in my Friday Fragments post on August 7th (That should give me time to verify everyone's entries.)

What are you waiting for? Go on--Be Bright! Be Pink!

MORE Weekly Winners-BlogHer Recap

Weaselmomma, meeting BusyDad at BlogHer and receiving her Lego "swag," personally autographed by BusyDad's son, Fury.

Note to self: Should you (self) decide to go to BlogHer2010 in NYC, please remember to think carefully about roommate choices. While Weaselmomma is hilarious, thoughtful, endearing, and a natural-born cheerleader, she also snores like a drunken sailor, gets up at 4am (and remains in the room), and has to have the TV on all night (and the next morning, as her roommate is trying to sleep.) I kid (a little). Even with her odd nocturnal habits, I would be her roommate again at BlogHer. I think. (p.s. She gave her blessing on my posting this.)

BlogHer was everything I had hoped it would be. It was my first convention of any kind, and I have to say WOW-it was incredibly overstimulating much of the time (picture being in the midst of a 1500 chirping, happy birds), but mostly, it was fantastic. I honestly don't think I have ever been so consistently pumped-up happy and excited for such an extended length of time. It was like a class reunion in which you know and love every single person you meet. It seemed like everyone was happy (albeit exhausted) all the time. Needless to say, I'll be sleeping in tomorrow morning. (I'll try to stay awake long enough to finish writing this post!)

Now, don't even get me started on the food....or the 21 inspiring, uplifting, moving BlogHer Keynote speeches. (My favorite, which moved me to tears, was Forgiveness Where It Belongs, by Grace Davis, but you can read them all here.

I met numerous well-known and beloved bloggers, such as Mr.Lady and Momofali (both every bit as charming IRL, I have to say.)And Melisa and Sue were thrilled to meet the ever-famous Carson Kressley, and Weaselmomma loved meeting Paula Dean. (Photo courtesy of Michelle, at Honest and Truly)

Here is my new BFF, Ree, The Pioneer Woman (Yes, I know--WOW!) I am pleased to say that she is incredibly nice, polite, and every bit as endearing as she seems on her blog.And the very next day after this found myself, I found myself stalking talking with Ree's handsome cowboy husband, The Marlboro Man, for about 20 minutes, outside a session in which Ree was speaking. The Marlboro Man is a true gentleman; a wonderful father (two of their "punks" were waiting there, too) and it was a treat talking with them. I have sometimes been skeptical about whether or not the Pioneer woman is a real person (how in the world does she do it all?!) with real children (they're so polite!!), but after this photo, I have no more doubts (little rascals! :)I even got to meet someone really famous...The main reason I came to BlogHer was to meet friends I've made over the Internet these past two years. It was exciting, entertaining, and uplifting; sharing my first BlogHer experience with Weaselmomma, Melisa, Sue, Heather, Michelle, and Tara (among others!!). I used to refer to them as "my blogger friends," and I'm pleased to say that in the future, I feel quite comfortable just saying "friends."

Other than this (and one other post about which I am very passionate) I'll give the BlogHer subject a rest now :) Thank you very much for your patience about me getting to your posts this week. I very much look forward to catching up with you soon!

For more Weekly Winners, visit Lotus (whom I also got to meet this weekend!) at Sarcastic Mom!

Proud Mary's Weekly Winners

Weekly Winners is a showcase of favorite photos taken the previous week. Visit Sarcastic Mom for many more wonderful shots!
My sister Mary is older than I am (there are four brothers in between us), and I have only one memory of growing up with her. Sadly, it involves a teenager's reaction to her little sister's trying out her tube of lipstick when she wasn't home one night. It's safe to say there's a reason I don't remember anything else (ONLY KIDDING, Mary!!) I'm happy to say I now have my own lipstick, and Mary and I have had had many, many wonderful experiences together. (Here's Mary with Mom a few years ago.)Mary is a very talented woman. She can cook, write songs, sing, play guitar, plan fantastic and entertaining parties that everyone remembers long afterwards, cook a homemade pizza like nobody's business, train dogs to do amazing tricks, and find the best bargains on antiques. She is thoughtful, hard-working, forgiving (believe it or not, haha), well-organized, sensitive, super-creative, and intelligent. When God handed out "lazy," Mary must have been in the bathroom, because she has never taken a lazy breath in her life.

One of Mary's talents that really blows me away is her artistry in the flower-gardening department. Take a look at these pics and see if you don't agree; she has a gift (for flower gardening, as well as photography!) Note: Mary took these pics last week, as well as earlier in the past year.
Purple Clematis on the arch...Every plant in Mary's garden has been placed there with a purpose; to please the eye, no matter what time of year or stage of bloom. There is always something in full bloom, just as something else begins to bud.Poppies with Black Jack Sedum, Bee Balm...Purple Cone Flowers, Lime Light Hydrangea, Red Night Lily...Yellow Asiatic Lilly...
Tiger Lillies...Did you notice the hummingbird in that last one? Mary said that hummingbirds love flowers that have tubes leading to their nectar.Lamb's Ear...Yellow Fox Tail Lillies...Bee Balm...Mary, I am in awe of your many talents. I can only hope there is a trickle-down effect.

For more gorgeous flowers, try Lotus's Weekly Winners (but good luck; these will be tough to beat!)

One Good Turn

At dinner the other night, Mom told was about how she went to the movies that week. She and her friends were standing in a line to buy tickets, when she noticed a couple about her age (80) standing in line in front of her. Mom has been a widow now for four years, and she (of course) misses my dad, so when she saw this couple talking together, she leaned over and said warmly,

"You don't know how blessed you are, you two; to still be together."

The couple smiled, and the wife said, "Oh, yes, we do."

They shared a little small-talk, and Mom told them she was going to see The Proposal. She then turned back to her friends in line, and a moment later, when it was her turn to buy her ticket, she turned back to see the husband, holding out a movie ticket to her. He smiled and said,

"This one's on us."

(Damn, that chokes me up.)

Friday Fragments/Friday's Freewrite

TGIF!! Friday Fragments (and Friday's Freewrite, from Ordinary and Awesome) are bits and pieces of your week that are usually brief; too short for a stand-alone post, but too good to discard. Collect humorous observations, "Heard" items, and other small gems and put them together in a Friday Fragments post--The more the merrier! (Click on the buttons above to learn more about FF or FF.)

***I'm at BlogHer today, so I don't know how many Fragments I'll get to read by Sunday, but I do plan to catch up with you eventually, so by all means, link up! But don't forget:
-Everybody likes company in the blogosphere-meet a new Fragmenter/Freewriter today!
-Friday Fragment/Freewrite Posts only, please.
-Remember to add a link back to here and Sara's blog if you are linking (that's the linky love part)

***How's this for random? I woke up last Saturday morning, having not seen a children's feature film in at least ten years, wondering this: "In the movie, 101 Dalmations, what was the name of that system in which dogs barked from town to town to warn of impending doom?" If you can answer this question, I'd be much obliged :)

***Remember the awesome TWT photo of my mom and her sisters on the swing? Christy, of Thru the Lens, was inspired by it and took this wonderful series. It's terrific!

***Irony-"Someone" I know uses a "Have-a-Heart" trap to catch the thieving, vandalizing chipmunks who sneak into our garage (through the 8-inch hole they chewed in the door.) Sometimes, he takes them on a long trip and lets them go. Sometimes (like when they find their way back) he uses a pellet gun to administer corporal punishment.

***In a return to Favorite Friday Fragment glory, Yaya- became my Favorite Fragmenter last week with this....

Someone left a bag of poop on my front stoop. Oh, wait. That was me.

Maybe you have to be a little off (like Yaya) to find that funny, but I cracked up. (I thought, "What?! What kind of nutjob would leave a bag of crap on someone's doorstep (without lighting it on fire, first?)

Yaya, thank you for always being good for a laugh. You are one of the most charming, sweet, funny people I almost know. Enjoy your award.***It's not too late to buy tickets in Hallie's HUGE raffle fundraiser!! Seriously, this is HUGE. The drawing is August 3rd, and there are no "Tweet/post/give a blood donation" requirements; all you have to do is donate a tax-deductible contribution to win chances to win incredible prizes AND support the cause of organ donation. (Click on the link in my sidebar to learn more.)

***I'm on a mission to win cute baby stuff for my niece's baby shower next month. So far, I've entered Leslie Loves Veggies's Baby Dipper Bowl Giveaway. There are tons of ways to win!

Okay, there's packing to do and whatnot, so I'm going to keep them short this week. I've switched to McKlinky (Mr.Linky crossed me!), so join the conga line here:

TWT: Coopie's "Day at the Spa"

A Thousand Words Thursday is the brainchild of The Mom Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy. Here's my contribution today:
Give that dog some sun and high temps, and he will lay on the driveway all day...

In the two days prior to this pic (one day before the beach and one day after), we brushed at least two Pomeranians from Cooper's fur. (No, we don't brush him often. How could you tell?)

Think there's a Locks of Love for Dogs?Visit Cheaper Than Therapy for more pictures that say a thousand words.

My Mom is Crazy (in a good way)

My mom is 80, but you'd never know it; she has the spirit of a child and is way too much fun for an 80-year-old. For example, Mom has been dressing up in costumes and singing crazy songs since I can remember. It keeps her young, certainly; she really, really loves it. She and three of her friends have been singing together for more than 30 years. They started out as Sweet Adelines, but broke off into their own singing group called The Stumblebums. Thirty years later, "The Bums" continue to practice weekly, and they even have a "gig" now and then. Tonight, I went along to one of their "sing-outs" (for the first time) and took a little video. (The performance was for a small audience at a local assisted living facility.)

The Stumblebums sing some sweet melodies, as evidenced by this clip,


but the thing that really crazy is the ridiculous outfits Mom puts on in the name of entertainment. Tonight, she rolled out a new act. Here it is...



"Elvis" was a big hit! (I can see a 100th birthday party in our future...)

A Roll in the Hay?

Here's what my son and his girlfriend do when there are no adults around to supervise...



Man, I love that kid!

Parents: Not Always as Dumb as They Look

It's funny how, as kids, our egocentricity makes us think we know everything, that our parents are stupid, and that we are invisible whenever we want to be.

Some friends we met recently (Tammy and John) told a story about how their neighbors had been telling them that their 17-year-old son had been sneaking out at night and hanging out in the neighborhood (doing Lord knows what.) They decided to bust him, but creatively.

The next day, Tammy told John to dress all in black. Around 10pm, they yawned and said they were headed to bed. They said goodnight to their son in the family room, closed their bedroom door, and snuck out to the back yard, where their younger kids had a treehouse. Laughing and shushing each other, they climbed up into the treehouse (a few feet off the ground) and settled in to wait.

"We could see him inside the house from our spot in the treehouse. In no time, he was up and sneaking around, looking to make sure we weren't still up. His head peeked out the kitchen window, but of course he couldn't see us out there in the dark. After walking from room to room a couple of times, he went into his (lower level) bedroom. A minute later, the light in his room went out, and his bedroom window opened. Sure enough, the little bugger climbed right out and headed for the back of the lot, until....

Just where in the hell do you think you're going?!"

Think he had to change his shorts?

So, what's your story? How stupid did you think your parents were? Were you a goody-two-shoes; too afraid to sneak out, or did you have enough rope to hang yourself? Or maybe you were a rebel? A hopeless failure at fooling your parents? Do tell! I'd love to read your story (in the comments, or in a post.)

There May Be Snow on the Rooftop, BUT....

We had the grandmas over for dinner tonight (Thanksgiving in July--YUM). After dinner, my mom told a cute story...

Mom goes to "The Pond" a couple of mornings per week. As far as I know, she can't swim a lick, but she has a very busy social life, and part of it includes her "Active Older Adults" class at the YMCA. As you can imagine, her class is made up of a number of senior citizens, most of whom are women. Here's what Mom shared...

"A man came to swim one day this week, and he was a beauty; you know, movie-actor good looking and strong, with lots of muscles, and he was just swimming laps, but we noticed him. He was a beauty, you know. And when the class ended, [she giggles] none of us wanted to get out of the water!!"

"How old was he, Mom?"

"Oh, 24 or 25!"

Then she and Grandma4444 chuckled about how they were going to pick up some guys on the way home tonight.

Silly young things...

Saturday Spewings

Haha-like that title? I just can't TAKE it anymore! I've been trying to be all calm, cool, and collected about going to BlogHer next week-I remember being one of the people NOT going last year (my first year of blogging) and feeling left out, disinterested, and bored with the whole thing. At the risk of annoying anyone who's not going, I've tried to be calm, but I can't any longer...

I'm SO EXCITED!!! [Don't give two squats about BlogHer? I don't blame you, if you're not going, but I appreciate your being here, so scroll down to the bottom of this post for other entertainment :)]

What is BlogHer? It's a convention of bloggers.

What do they do there? Learn how to be a better blogger (I guess) and how to make money from their blogs, but really, I could care less about that crap; I am only going because I cannot wait to meet the many bloggers I have become friends with over the past two years!

AND...I'm looking forward to:

*Driving down to Chicago alone, singing at the top of my lungs, or maybe listening to James Patterson's Step on a Crack (book on tape). Seriously, I will need the three hour drive just to calm down enough to keep myself from screaming and leaping on top of Melisa and Weaselmomma when I get there!

*Sleeping over at Melisa's house on Thursday (guess I'd better get her real name and address, so that Mr.4444 knows where to look if I come up missing!)

*The "Swag" that will be handed out at every party/event! (Hey, I'm just being real.) I'll be taking an extra suitcase just to cart it all home! ["Swag" is the name for the freebies BlogHer sponsors (Swiffer, Pillsbury, Springpadit.com, Crystal Light, Pepsico, etc.) will be handing out at all of the events.]

*Keynote speakers. BlogHer has chosen 21 stand-out bloggers to read some of their best posts, and I really look forward to laughing, crying (guess I'd better bring Kleenex!), and just being inspired by each of them. The list of bloggers include the likes of Tanis of Redneck Mommy, Black Hockey Jesus of Wind in My Vagina, Pauline Klarkowski of Classy Chaos, and I am Bossy. If I come out of their dry-eyed and without stomach cramps from laughing, heads will roll (but I doubt it will come to that.)

*Doing my first-ever 5K walk/run, just for fun, in Downtown, Chicago, Saturday morning at 6:30 (No, I don't drink, so I should be able to get out of bed. I'm sure Weaselmomma will join me, NOT, LOL.) Another Swag Bag, a t-shirt, and some exercise! I am lit up over this, even though I do not run (ever) and will probably get lost somewhere along the route.

*I'm also looking forward to just being myself with friends. I could care less about meeting any "famous" bloggers. I'm much more interested in meeting people with whom I can have a friendship with; not folks who get so many comments they can't even read them all. (I like me some relationships, people! :)

***Karaoke. Need I say more about that?

***Doing whatever I want to, whenever I feel like it, for three days. (Wait a minute, I pretty much do that now. Hmm. Well, doing that in Chicago, then.)

Okay, now that I've popped the top of my BlogHer mania, I'm calm enough to leave you with this. Kyle is gone tonight. Mr.4444 and Kendall were not feeling the BlogHer mania. In fact, they were bored, so this is what they did:Facials, with lipstick added "for the Joker Effect."

Kyle will be away at camp next week, so these two will be on their own. Think I need to get a babysitter?

Friday Fragments

Welcome to Friday Fragments and Friday's Freewrite, the perfect ways to unload your random thoughts that didn't make their ways into posts but you still want to share. Thanks for being here :) Be sure to visit Ordinary and Awesome to read more Friday ramblings and to link up your FF/FF post! [For how to get started with Friday Fragments, click on the FF button above.]

***I've felt decadent and rebellious, all these years, as I've defied Mom's edict and used more than "4 squares of toilet paper," on a regular basis.

***They say bad things come in threes. Well, this week, good things came in three's!! I won THREE giveaways this week!! First, Melissa B at Scholastic Scribe awarded me a Starbucks Gift Card in her Silly Sunday Sweepstakes! (Visit Melissa on Sunday for your chance to enter!) Then, Melissaz at Colorful Metaphors let me know that Mr.4444's answer in her Riddle Me This contest was correct! So, Mr.Smarty (he is smart, that guy!) will be enjoying some delicious homemade cookies!!!! Finally, as if being a winner twice in one week wasn't enough, I won Juls' Piggy Paint Giveaway at Every Day Is a Crazee Day!! That means that just in time for NFL football season, Mr.4444 will have some green and gold toenail polish!! Thank you, Ladies!! :)

***I'm not always a winner. On Tuesday, I had what I'm guessing to be a panic attack at the dentist office. I'm pretty sure it had something to do with the nine shots of Novocaine I needed in such close proximity to the post I wrote about my anesthesia nightmare. It's occurred to me that while I've told the childbirth story many, many times, I have never once dealt with the emotions I felt during that incident. In the dentist's office, I suddenly could not feel my arms and felt intense and sudden fear, which culminated in becoming instantly soaked in my own tears and having to be "talked down." Pretty much a flashback; maybe therapy is in order.

***Choosing a Favorite Friday Fragmenter last week was fun last week, first, because of Kori, not only because of her intro,

"Friday Fragments. Mrs.4444. Saving us all from mental constipation, one Friday at a time."

but because of this:

"I saw a sign in the local grocery store this week that said, “XXX: The Stores That Feel Like Home.” I tell you, my home does not smell like spilled milk and old bread and little old ladies-you know, that faintly moldy, sweet smell? Oh. Wait. Yes it does."

AND this bit from another post of Kori's this week, "and if you don’t know how hard it is to NOT push when you have a HEAD sticking out of you, well, I hope you never do."

I couldn't choose only one FFF last week, because how could I pass this up Unknown Mami's gem about a picnic she attended with her family:

I was feeling pretty picture perfect until we sat down to enjoy a sandwich and I noticed a big yellow shmear on my pants. What the hell my sandwich didn't even have mustard on it?! The color could only be described as baby shit yellow. Why? Because it was baby shit! Yuck!

OMG, U.M. you are hilarious! :)

And I had total giggle flashback when I read this, from Stacey, at The Willowjak Boys:

- Dad told me today that my sons are the luckiest boys in the world to have Jonathan and I as parents. "If anyone was meant for this challenge in life, it was you guys. Think of the joy they bring you." Is it joyful when your six year old runs into your room buck naked, does a somersault and lets loose some toxic fumes and obnoxious noises when his butt's in the air in front of you?

So, Ladies, this infamous award goes to each of you today! Enjoy :)***Kyle leaves for YMCA Camp U-nah-li-ya on Sunday, where he'll be an Assistant Counselor for FIVE WEEKS. He'll come home for three weekends. How will we go on without him?!

***I love cheese popcorn, but I hate orange fingers (Sorry, Yaya; I know that's your favorite color.) This week, I found a solution: Eat it in a bowl, with a spoon. Problem fixed.

***I fell upon the blog, 2024 Rules for My Daughter this week. I love it for its simplicity and love that comes through this father's advice to his daughter.

***Melissa B, at Scholastic Scribe, did share the wonderful Starbucks gift, but she also shared two blogs, which I love; her daughter, Ella Numera Dos, is a talented photography student with a new blog called MOO, and Melissa's sister, Miss Jo, is ALSO a talented photographer (just more seasoned, heehee). These two are really wonderful, and Miss Jo's San Francisco is a blog like none I've seen before. Check them out!

I look forward to reading your Fragments/Freewrites this week. If you have such a post, link up here and at Ordinary and Awesome, and don't forget to make a few friends by checking out other posts :)

OH, DANG! Looks like I messed with my code when I added the Stumbleupon widget yesterday! I've switched to MCLinky tonight (Whew!) but will look again at it tomorrow. Thanks for your patience!

A Thousand Words Thursday

Who says Seniors are too cool to hang with Freshmen?!For more pictures that "say a thousand words," visit Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy.

MWW: Dog Days of Summer

Few words necessary this time...Here's a quick story in pictures (no sound in this one.) For more Mostly Wordless Wednesday posts (at Sara's place) click on the widget above.

Still the One

I remember doing the laundry with my sister, Judy, as a small child of 5 or 6 (yes, really.) We had an old-fashioned (even for that time, I think) ringer washer.

I remember the hot, soapy water that stung my fingers, burning them until I remembered to grab the wooden pole to retrieve the steaming-hot clothing. We fed them through the ringer into a sturdy tub full of ice-cold water. (Funny how that, too, stung my fingers.) Rinse, rinse, repeat. I remember a few times having to hit the emergency release, because my fingers got caught in the ringer--not fun.

As you might imagine, my hands were weathered beyond my years when I was young. I was a hard worker and wasn't so wimpy that I wore gloves, either, no matter what the chemical. (We didn't have any, anyway.)

In middle school, during which (if you're lucky) hand-holding comes with the territory (at the roller rink), every boy I ever skated with said, "Wow, your hands are rough!" (Thanks.) My boyfriends (2 or 3 max, I swear) in high school all commented on my dry hands.

"Yup; I know." Thanks.

When I first started dating Mr.4444 (in college), it was mid winter, and he had been working hard in the construction trade, outdoors. His hands were always red and a little chapped. The first time he held my hand, he exclaimed warmly, "Your hands are so soft!" And my heart melted; I knew he was the one for me!

Just kidding. It did melt, honestly (I almost cried) but there wasn't just one moment. There were many others...

....like the first time he took me out to a nice dinner and did not make me feel stupid for not knowing what to do with all of the silverware or for never having eaten a steak dinner before.

...and the fact that he always asked me what I wanted, rather than just assuming that he knew (at certain times that it's important to ask.)

...and the time I thanked him for not opening my mail, and he said, with a curious look, "Why would I do that? It has your name on it, not mine."

...and the time, when we were first dating, when I accidentally snapped off his new fishing rod in the truck door, and he said, "It's no big deal, really." (when he probably wanted to kill me.)

...and the time he listened to me tell a certain Christmas story from my childhood and I could see that he was barely listening, but he was totally taking me in, and he smiled and said, "You are really charming, you know that?"

So, yeah. My heart has melted many times over Mr.4444, and it continues to do so, even today.

Like when I come to bed on frosty winter nights with legs that haven't been shaved in weeks, and he says, "I'd rather they be furry than prickly."

And when he comes in from the garage saying, "I changed your wiper blades for you; they looked like they were ready," or "I saw your gas tank was low, so I went and filled it up for you."

Or when he puts his arms around me at night and tells me how he knows he "won the wife lottery."

So, yeah. Dry skin, hairy legs, driving the car til it's running on fumes...he takes me with all of my flaws and loves me the way I've always dreamed of.

I know what you're thinking--"Those are her flaws? Give me a break!"

Hey, it's my blog. I don't have to tell you about my real flaws. (Besides, he'll tell you I don't have any.)

Just Breathe?

[DISCLAIMER: If you are pregnant and do not appreciate delivery horror stories, head over to my archives for a less dramatic post!]

After three months on bedrest, an ambulance ride from hell, external version that was NOT fun and did not work, and 12 hours of "failure to progress," my obstetrician decided to remove my epidural and ship me off to the "operating theater" for an emergency C-section. They decided to go with a "spinal," which is basically like an epidural; the needle goes into your spine and is intended to numb you from that point down. [Key word: intended]

So, I'm lying there on the table, feeling no pain, when I start to feel like there is a 50-pound bag of cement on my chest! The air has left my lungs and is not coming back. (I think) I opened my mouth to tell someone, but nothing came out. I couldn't move my arms to wave or anything, either. I heard the anesthesiologist (behind me) say, in a cheerful tone, "You're doing fine, Barb,"

and I totally FREAKED inside. I thought, "Oh my GOD! He doesn't know I can't breathe! I'm on my own! What am I going to do?!"

My mind raced, "What happens when you can't breathe? What happens when you can't breathe?! Heart attack? Stroke?" Finally, I just surrendered and started looking for "the white light." (I'm serious.)

The next thing I knew, someone started "bagging" me, which is what it's called when they put a mask over your mouth with a black, rubber thingy that they squeeze to force oxygen into your lungs. Finally, I could breathe. My doctor took a break from sewing me up to look over the drape at me (I'll never forget the look of concern on her face.)

I am not ashamed to say I had not a care in the world for Kyle in those moments; I was only interested in breathing (can you believe the selfishness?!) Apparently, his initial Apgar score was a two. (I'm guessing he was blue but had a heartbeat and was breathing a little?) Thankfully, it was up to a nine, five minutes later. At some point, someone brought him to me, held him out where I could see him, and said, in a sing-song voice, "Here's your baby, Mrs.4444." I glanced at my bundle of joy and vomited. (Nice.) They whisked him away.

Poor Mr.4444 missed all of the excitement; one minute he was told to wash his hands, and the next they came in to get him with, "Congratulations! You have a son."

Fortunately, we lived happily ever after; other than being horribly colicky for nine months (another post, maybe), Kyle was no worse for the wear and has turned out perfectly fine.

Epilogue: Every single time I tell this story, I find myself a little short of breath. Ten years ago, I requested my medical records to see if it really was as bad as I thought. The records confirmed it. The report said that my spinal "ran high," so instead of numbing me from the entrypoint of the needle down, it completely paralized me up to my neck.

Of course, the anesthesiologist was aware that I couldn't breathe (I assume). He had a pulse-oxygen monitor on my finger. I'm guessing that, "You're doing fine, Barb" was intended to reassure me, but it in fact had the opposite effect; I thought he was clueless! If he was taking a nap or something, I'm just glad he snapped out of it, and that Kyle and I came through it all okay.

What's the closest you've ever come to dying? (Don't be afraid to attach a post, if you have one.)

Weekly Winners

We went to my sister Mary's house this week. I wanted to check out her flower garden and just visit a little. Don't ask me what these are called; I just thought they were cool. The kids had fun throwing the Frisbee for Homer, who lives and breathes to catch Frisbees. He is one of the smartest dogs I have ever met, seriously. If you point to something and say, "Homer, would you please get that for me?" he is off to get it and bring it to you. He doesn't always know the difference between one person's shoe and another's but so what?! Mary also served us this delicious homemade pizza that was so pretty, I had to take a photo.I also have to share this prize-winner of my nephew Caden, whose mother is currently hiding from Child Protective Services, for fear she will be reported as a result of this photo (yes-he does eat, believe it or not when she lets him out of his cage.)

See more Weekly Winners at Lotus's place, Sarcastic Mom.