Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I Kid You Not

Okay, so I posted the post below this one and then proceeded to read my feeds. I couldn't resist sharing today's headlines, all from our local paper (I'm not kidding; these are real.)

Wausau Snowmobiler Accused of Ramming Cop (Think there was any alcohol involved? On his way home from Anger Management class maybe?)

Ex-mother-in-law Kidnappers Sentencing Postponed Let this be a lesson to all mothers-in-law out there (ONLY KIDDING, of course. Poor woman; I'm sure she is a wonderful person.)

A Chilling Story: He's Busted Outside After Streaking A high school kid streaked through a high school basketball game last weekend. (You'd think he'd wait for warmer weather...what with shrinkage and all.)

Police Zap Uncooperative Teen with Taser (This one appeals to me for obvious reasons.)

Hatley Family Chases, Nabs Serial Mailbox Vandal After the family mailbox was damaged three times in a row, the son chased the offender's vehicle at speeds of up to 100 miles per hour. (Yeah, that's just how important mailboxes are around here; we are willing to risk life and limb to bring these bastards to justice, dang it!)

Who's Accused of Drinking All Day, Throwing Sword? Mr. Beer That's right; some 43-year-old fool by the name of Andrew Beer was wasted when he threw a sword at his girlfriend. (Obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer...)

What would the headline on your life say today?

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