Saturday, December 8, 2012

"Are Mom and Dad Santa?"

I once shared a post called Christmas Revelations, about how I came to terms with finding out there was "no Santa" before I was ready to hear it. Sadly, in setting out to be a "good mom," I still managed to scar Kendall for life with her own revelations (See It's Never Too Late to Fake It). Being a 6th grade teacher, I always have a few innocent kids who still believe, and I go out of my way to avoid being the one to spoil it for them. Who wants to be "that guy"?! (Not me!)

Recently, I stumbled upon a beautiful answer to the "Are Mom and Dad really Santa?" question, but after publishing this post, I learned that that letter on Pinterest was plagiarized (grrr), so instead, I'm linking to the page of Martha Brockenbrough, the mom who wrote the beautiful answer to her daughter.  I thought I'd share it for those of you who may be facing this issue soon.

I loved Martha's letter. Of course, you may disagree. I once knew a woman who's childhood faith in God was knocked off its foundation when she found out that her parents had "lied about Santa." (If they were lying about that, could they also be lying about God?!"  As a result, she didn't even teach her own children to believe in Santa. It seems we're damned if we do and damned if we don't!

What's your take on the Santa thing? I'd love to read about your experience (as a child or parent).


  1. Kinda like "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause."

  2. I love this letter! Thanks for sharing it! As I possibly embark upon a new job at a middle school, I might be in a position to use some of it. Otherwise, it's a great piece to hang onto for grand kids!

  3. I was 7 years old; darned Catholic school kids, when I "found out." Way
    too young and when I asked Mom and she told me, I immediately wished
    she'd lied to me. I wanted to receive the magic for a while longer.

    told me that "Santa" was the spirit of love and giving at Christmas.
    It was what people did to act out to their kids the gift of Baby Jesus
    from God to all of us. She also told me that when I was old enough to
    learn the truth about Santa, I was ready to BE Santa. That's why I
    still call that awakening "becoming and elf." I liked that
    explanation enough that my brother, who is only 14 months younger than
    me, never heard it from me; I got to be his personal elf that year,
    which was pretty cool.

  4. I LOVE this! Our kids believed in Santa, and eventually figured it out around age 7 or 8. We have a strong-willed, head on daughter who asked us out right, and we answered the truth, similar to the letter. All of them have a strong belief in God, and finding out there was no real Santa didn't crush their faith in Him or in us. It did eventually open doors for great discussions! Wonder, fairy tales, creativity, and the magic of giving often seem scarce in a very "real" world. I think anything we do that keeps the Child in childhood, and an open heart in a good thing.

  5. I absolutely love this! I firmly believed in Santa and it caused me so much anxiety that I was deathly ill every single year until I found out he wasn't a person who snuck into our house. It gives me a good thought about a post. Thanks for this.....these are some wise parents!

  6. Love the letter! Katelyn was pretty scarred she found out about all of them in one big swoop...Easter bunny,Santa and the tooth fairy..she was in 4th grade! I feel pretty good she made it that long...but she was crushed we had lied and still talks about it today!

  7. I have posted a few Christmases ago about our youngest learning the Santa game (not sure what to call it deception is too strong). She was very upset that Christmas eve. So if you suspect they are about to figure it out you might try avoiding the discovery from occurring on Christmas eve or day. I agree with the spirit of Christmas. Also, the spirit idea solves the transportation logistic problems a human type of Santa would have.

  8. you make a very good point about older siblings keeping it from the younger ones. Personal elf - good idea

  9. This is really a beautiful way to explain not just Santa but having Faith! Loved it and thanks a whole bunch for sharing it here.

  10. The letter made me tear up! I see nothing wrong with telling kids about Santa. It's one of the many things that modern parents make WAY too big of a deal about, in my humble opinion. Most kids are not scarred for life by finding out that Santa is not "real". My dad always told me - if you don't believe in him, he won't believe in you!

  11. As children we believe in the magic of Santa. It's up to the parents to teach the children the good in Santa and not get caught up in the greed. Once they are old enough to understand, it's a good lesson for them to learn about giving.

  12. Yeah, that is a tough one. "Magic of Santa" doesn't seem right, either. Maybe just the "tradition of Santa." That's what I called it.

    Good advice.

  13. It seems you can't win for losing on this subject!

  14. Wait a minute..."deathly"? Should I take that literally? I did just wake up, so I'm might just not be thinking straight :) Please let me know (via email) when you share that post, as I might miss it, otherwise. Thanks.

  15. Can't say that I've seen/read that one, so I'll have to take your word for it :)

  16. I love the idea of Santa and giving gifts sometimes to people anonymously as from "Santa" just to surprise them and make them wonder where it came from.

  17. This is a plagiarized letter, copied from one I wrote my daughter. You're welcome to refer to it, but please use the original version.

    It's here:

  18. Martha, I am disgusted by the fact that your letter was plagiarized, and I sincerely apologize. I really appreciate your letting me know. I've adjustedmy post and
    am off to get rid of my pin on Pinterest, too. (Of course, I'll pin yours, instead!)

    Thanks, again, and have a wonderful holiday.



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