I found this great little book, called How NOT to Become a Little Old Lady. I bought a few copies to give to my sisters for Christmas or birthdays. For some reason, Mom didn't think it was that funny, but the rest of us laughed a lot when my sister Mary opened hers. According to the book (and some of my embellishments), little old ladies....
1) Talk about their dental health during lunch.
2) Pay no attention to the actual shape of their lips when putting on lipstick.
3) Cover every surface of the living room with little china and glass figures that fall over when you go near them.
4) Buy their clothes at garage sales and don't notice (or mind) the food stains on them.
5) Boil vegetables (until they are gray.)
6) Tell long, boring stories about buying drapes, new bedding, or shoelaces.
7) Can tell you everything about the neighbors; what time they came home last night, why the police were called, or who's getting divorced
8) Can rest their breasts on their knees (without bending over).
9) Pass gas out loud in public (and act as though no one heard it)
10) Iron gift-wrapping paper and ribbons and use them again.
I don't know about you, but I'm not looking forward to it.... And you little old men out there...feel free to add your own characteristics!