Wednesday, February 4, 2009

How to Practice for a Colonoscopy

Mr.4444's grandma, Grace, who passed away several years ago, had some "colon issues." Let's just say he affectionately refers to her as the "Queen of Pollups." So, a couple of years ago, his doctor recommended that he undergo a colonoscopy.

He got his paperwork, which listed Monday, the 15th, as the "big day." On Sunday night, he started the preparation, which, as many people know, involves "cleaning out" one's "system" by not eating a thing, but drinking a special solution and about a gallon of water. He diligently followed the instructions and basically spent the night in the bathroom with explosive diarrhea. One box of wipes and a long night later, Mr.4444 hurried off to his appointment; apprehensive, but grateful that it would soon be over.

After 15 minutes in the waiting room, he was summoned by the receptionist, who
sheepishly said, "Mr.4444, I'm afraid your appointment is not until Friday.

The bastards made him go home and do it all again on Thursday.


  1. I am laughing. Hard.
    Sorry, but that is seriously funny!
    Poor guy.

  2. Oh, I feel Mr4444's pain! I guess I've been lucky as I have never been given the wrong appointment day, but having been through the procedure four times, I would probably have caused an explosive (pardon the pun) scene in the office. Those preps are deadly, offensive and humiliating.

    My prayers and thoughts are with him and hope that future procedures are far and few between.

  3. I will be silently chuckling over this one all day. I know - all too well - that the trauma leading up to and through a colonoscopy is not something one wants to repeat more often than annually. To prep twice in a week?!

    All I can say is - WOW - What a cleansing experience!

  4. Is it heartless to laugh? Because that is funny! And you know that when it comes time for my first colonoscopy, I will be calling to confirm the appt before I start the prep.

  5. That may be the worst story I ever heard. Shitty, so to speak.

    You're so, so, funny.


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