Monday, March 30, 2009

Would you swap?

Kendall and I love to watch WifeSwap on Friday nights. In case you're not familiar with the show, they swap two women into each other's (usually opposite) lives. They are given each other's husband, children, and lives (except for sleeping with the husband) for the purpose of exploitation in the name of entertainment. The first week, they have to follow the House Rules of the wife/mother they are replacing. The second week, they get to force the family to live by their rules. The resulting drama is compelling (and funny). In the end, the wives and husbands reunite and share their experiences across a table from each other. Often times, they yell and insult each other at this meeting, but just as often, they share insights gained from their experiences.

My family has always told me that we couldn't participate in that show, because we are too normal. All the same, I wonder what type of mom they would send to take my place. They could send a mom who exercises obsessively or knows how to keep a plant alive for more than 6 months. Actually, the best mom to send here would be one who cleans like a freak. I would love for some other woman to live here for two weeks and clean my house obsessively. It would be worth the five-minute tongue lashing she'd give me when we reunited with our spouses and met "across the table."

As for where they would send me, they would probably send me to a family whose children behaved like animals. I think I would actually like that a lot, since obviously, I love problem children. Unfortunately, unruly children would likely be parented by animal fathers. On second thought, I might be able to manage an unruly dad (I do have the patience of a saint.) However, I think I would lose my sanity over idiots like Stephen Fowler of this episode; what a pompass ass. The kids would be minor, in my opinion; it's the problem husbands I don't think I could take. Now that would create some good TV; me going off on some neanderthal male chauvinist, or breaking it to Curtis (from Friday's episode) that he needs to find adult playmates and start teaching his children that they are not the center of the universe. (That said, his spoiled rotten little boy was a little cutie, I must admit. "I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be fat, and happy.")

There isn't much point in discussing this further; there is no way I would allow my family to be exploited like those on WifeSwap. Plus, any woman who came to my house for two weeks would fall in love with my husband, and that could be inviting trouble. However, we are a little short on cash these days...I wonder what they get paid???

What do you think your Wifeswap/Husband stop episode would look like?

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