Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Just Say No

I was going to participate in What I Meant to Say Wednesday, created by Chief. However, the more I thought about it, the more I remembered that I'm pretty direct and honest, for the most part, so I'm not going that route.  Instead, I'm going to ask you a question. Resolutions aside, what will you say "No" to this year?

I think lot of people need to "just say no" more often. You know who you are; you listen on the phone for several minutes before hanging up on phone solicitors, can't turn down committee positions or refuse extra duties at work for which you are not paid.  You hear yourself saying "yes" when you really mean "no," because you just don't want to risk hurting someone's feelings or making them think that you're  You could benefit from saying "no" more often.

I'm actually pretty good at saying no; I have a great handle on how to take care of myself and will not feel pressured by anyone to say yes when I am really screaming "Nooooooo!" inside (unless you count agreeing to drive 20 minutes to pick Kendall up from a friend's house or something.) I think it's important to say no sometimes; it's liberating and a nice way to take care of yourself. (Let me know if you need help with this!)

I didn't always have this ability, and I have some baggage to show for it, but I'm a big girl now. So this year, I plan to say "No" if anyone asks me if I'd like to add a fifth committee to my list of involvements, I'll say no to things I can't afford, and I'll say no to dusting.

How about you? What will you say "No" to this year?

26 comments:

  1. I should be saying NO to chocolate and all things with sugar but I think I will say No to making excuses!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm very very good at saying no. makes my work crazy...I'm at the top of the list so they always call when they're shorthanded....I MIGHT have actually gone in once.

    Having 3 toddlers really will help you strengthen your No muscle!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The word "no" is so diverse....an adjective, an adverb, a verb, a noun. Using it reflects that we ourselves may be negative and so I think its hard to commit to the word when we use it. I'd love to feel comfortable using it, but always hestitate. Maybe we need to find a phrase or word that will condition ourselves to use the word No with something more positive before it. Like "Thank you, but no" or "I'd love to say yes....but no" so that it can become less of a negative effort to use. :SHRUG: Great thought for today!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Let me help you tweak this skill for you. Can I have a Million dollars as a gift from you?

    ReplyDelete
  5. People are always asking me to do IT stuff at work, but it's not my job at all, and it's a major time suck. Apparenlty I'm just easier to work with than our actual IT guy. So when people ask if I'm busy, I'm going to say yes, which is saying NO to fixing their computer.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm saying no to those Mummy's that don't know how to pick up there kids on time. The ones that call and say "can I pick him up later, I have errands to run"... hello I've had your kid all weekend, what about my errands! Those Mums!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sometimes I think that I need to say "yes" to more things. Yes to new things and opportunities--yes to that new friend or new skill. Sometimes I hold myself back. But if I don't learn to say No to somethings, I won't be able to say Yes to other things. The hard part is keeping it all straight. I am still working on that!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm going to be saying a big, firm "No." to taking on any role at the Parents and Citizens Association at my kids' schools. I've just done 2 years as the P&C President at the primary school and I'm taking a break. There'll be quite a bit of pressure for me to take something on simply because I know how everything works and I do want to be involved still, but I don't want any job titles or any responsibilities, I'll just turn up and help out with things if/when I can.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I've spent the last almost 5 years saying No to lots of things because I've really dedicated myself to my kids. This is actually the year I'm saying Yes to something new- a new project at church that I'll be heading up. Something I've been wanting to do but am also scared of. So I guess this is my Year of Yes!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I admittedly need to be better at saying NO to many things. I have said NO to anymore BS from my mom and her kids and my outlaws. We have cut them off all together because they weren't "healthy" for our household.

    I admittedly want to tell people to get their sh** together when they ask for more time because they are procrastinators. I really should be saying NO then, huh??

    LOVE this post! Most definitely needed to hear it this morning as I head out to visit with difficult people that my husband asked me to visit with.

    May

    ReplyDelete
  11. I spent the good part of a year curled up on the sofa in a fetal position because I had not learned to say NO. I am a chick of many talents so I am asked to do a lot. Now, don't get me wrong, I believe God gives us our talents to use but if you have a four month daughter in intensive care 250 miles away and a three year old at home ya just don't direct the adult and kids Christmas Progams. You don't make all the paper mache' heads for all the animals in the play. I did this to myself time and time again. I will continue to say no when I feel myself getting a little overwhelmed letting myself step back and take care of me.

    Whew, am I glad that's over. Sometimes girl, ya just push a button! LOL

    Have a wonderful day!!! :o)

    ReplyDelete
  12. i'll be saying no to spending time with people who bring me down, or who i just don't really like that much. life's too short to be friends out of pity alone.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I was going to do this - but then I thought, "Nah, I can do it later." So, later, I will tell you that I'm going to say "No" to procrastination. Just as soon as I work up the courage.

    ReplyDelete
  14. We-I-do a lot of this in recovery-and the most valuable thing I may have learned to date besides how not to drink for today is that NO is a complete sentence. This is where people get sucked in to doing things they really don't want to do, I have seen. Because they say,"No, I can't because...." and the thing is, we don't need to justify, we don't owe anyone an explanation. No is, simply, no.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am going to say "No" to mindless activities--read CRAFTS--that make me crazy and look like crap.

    Also, I will not attend a "party" where I'm supposed to buy something.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am just saying no to spending time with Toxic people even if they are family. Just because you are family doesn't mean you are my friend. :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ok, Sis. I love you, but I must say...

    "This year" you're going to say no to dusting? That implies a change.

    I'm just sayin'.

    XOXOX

    ReplyDelete
  18. Maybe I'll start a business where people can hire me to say no for them. I bet you people would pay for it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oooo, good question! I'm improving (slowly) my ability to say no. I plan to say no to chairing the new landscaping committee for the preschool. I plan to say no to working on my days off until my LOA starts. I plan to say no to ummm, I think that's it for now. No to chocolate?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh, Michelle! That's mean! JK You're right; I should have said I'm saying no to dusting, AS USUAL! haha

    I really loved the response to this post; such good, thought-provoking stuff! Thanks!

    Those of you avoiding toxic people; bravo! And those who plan to say Yes!

    I think The Toll House Cookie is wise to mention saying something gentle in front of the no, but I also agree with Kori; no is good enough, too. Personally, I feel comfortable saying, "I'm sorry, but I've already got enough of my plate; maybe next year."

    ReplyDelete
  21. I said no to a volunteer organization that I'd been with for the past 5 years. It was a GIANT commitment and I just needed to get out from under it. It was heartbreaking to say no, but I feel so much better!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Funny Michelle W! I quit doing dusting faithfully a few years ago, but I make a stab at it when it starts to be noticable. :0
    Love the comment about "No" being a complete sentence!
    Love those who have said no for a few years to spend time with kids etc, but are now saying Yes. :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I am not very good at saying No, but I think I could handle saying no to dusting.....

    ReplyDelete
  24. I will say NO to eating that entire batch of brownies before I even get them in the oven ;) I am usually petty good at NO and sticking to it.
    Actually, my goal is to say NO a little less. I tend to decline to do things just because its a bit inconvenient. I need to make more of an effort to get out, travel (I did say yes to that this year!!), and to play with the kids more. So, YES to more!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I am saying NO to:

    ~buying things I don't really need in the first place.
    ~pretending to be someone I'm not just to make others happy.
    ~beating myself up when I fail

    Good post!

    ReplyDelete
  26. What "will" I say no to this year and what "should" I say no to might be two different things. I should say no to ice cream, junk food, to a few people at work, and to time on the computer. I will say no to ..........hmmmmm.

    ReplyDelete

Your 2 cents...