Tuesday, May 10, 2011

"The Talk"?

"Well, it's true that I don't know what an erection feels like, but..." 

I'm still smiling about the school nurse (a woman) explaining to the 6th grade boys (last week) why a woman was teaching them about what it's like to be a boy going through puberty. LOL

Do you remember "the talk?"  I remember only that there was one (at school) and that afterwards, my mom and I were alone at home (must have gotten to go home after the presentation), sitting at the diningroom table, when she tentatively asked,

"Do you have any questions?"

I quickly gifted her with an abrupt, "No," and retreated to my room.

In my memory (clouded by adolescence at at the time), Mom was absolutely terrified that I would have a question. (It's ironic that a woman who raised nine children would try to pretend that sex did not exist, but she did.)

I remember the time Kyle (ate 5 or so) was at Mom's (with me) when he put on a very long piece of costume jewelry (necklace) and exclaimed, "Wow! It's all the way down to my penis!" and Mom about had a heart attack, responding quickly and sternly (in a hushed tone), "We don't say that word in this house!"   LOL

Getting back to the subject of the "sex talk," later that day, mom came up to my room and handed me a menstruation belt and pads for the eventual "event."  I was completely turned off (how old-fashioned!) but I did appreciate her effort, on some subconscious level.

Thankfully, my friend's mom (Ellen) was totally cool talking about periods, etc. She even had a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves (from which I learned a lot).  I loved that about Ellen, and by the time Mom came to me with that belt, I was already a generation ahead of her. When my "big moment" finally arrived, I was completely prepared for it.

How about you? How did you learn about puberty? Your parents? School? The school bus? 

21 comments:

  1. ok that made me laugh outloud and for the second time this morning i am wiping coffee and spittle off my laptop! i think i will wear my longest necklace today so i can use the inspired line...look its all the way down to my penis...not that i have a penis you understand, im a bit like the woman teaching at your school lol! so funny and if you want to know how i learnt about things it was defo at school never at home, and if i said a bit of trial and e rror would that make me sound like a loose floosy! thankyou for the early morning smiles xxxx

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  2. My mom was terrible about talking about puberty and even worse when it came to talking about sex. I learned what I knew from Judy Blume and the school bus. Still, I was unprepared when I started my period at school in the 6th grade. I was so embarrassed, I didn't go to the office or tell anyone. Instead, I just bled all over the place. It was awful.

    So that was one of my vows, to be more open about the subject. When I had the first "talk" with my dd, hilarity ensued:

    http://4thfrog.blogspot.com/2008/11/one-daughter-is-enough-for-me.html

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  3. My mom never had the talk with me...and my school certainly wasn't approaching the subject.

    I had a good friend whose mom gave her a book (it was a very old and pretty outdated book, but it covered some of the basics at least) and then her mom loaned it to me. My mom was all sorts of relieved that her job of having the talk had been done for her.

    I had my period for several months before my mom noticed that her stash of pads was decreasing at a fast rate and she asked me if I had been using them for something. Um. Yeah.

    As a sidenote...you know that I love that Kyle said that, because I am all about the use of proper words.

    Oh my goodness. That poor nurse. Those poor boys. How funny!

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  4. I think that parents were like that back in those days. They didn't feel comfortable talking about sex with their kids. Parents today seem much more relaxed and open about it.

    My parents never discussed it with me. I think I learned more from other kids and health class than I ever did from mom and dad.

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  5. I remember going to a special night for girls and there moms at school. My friends and I got giggling so hard that I snorted and we even had the school nurse, who was sitting with our moms laughing. Then they handed us maxi-pads as we left. OY!

    My mom was pretty open. I don't remember asking lots of questions, but I know I knew everything I needed to know ahead of time. Then again, when you (my mom) have to explain the birds and bees to your 7 year old (me) because she's walked in on you and your husband (my dad)for the SECOND time, that pretty much "leaves the door open" for frank conversations. LAWD!

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  6. From my three older sister's! My Mom never talked about that kind of stuff NEVER! Now with my daughter I try to have a conversation and shut down instantly so I guess some how she knows everything!!lol!

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  7. I mostly learned at school and on the school bus----some of that was misinformation---btw. My mom wasn't embarrassed about talking to me and made sure I had supplies on hand for when menstruation started, though. I was the one who talked to my kids though.

    One time in the grocery line, my youngest piped up, "How is it that the baby gets started inside the mother, again??" A conversation to have at home, son.

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  8. I was never told anything. Learned from my friends.

    I can remember my son at an early age asking at the dinner table once. "Dad, sometimes my pee gets hard".

    "It means you are excited about something..."

    "oh, well I do like meatloaf!"

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  9. I had a wonderful Great Aunt who spent time with me along with a book and wonderful guidance had 'the talk' the summer before we girls were crammed into the cafeteria for our awakenin'.

    My MoM? Much like yours and came to me the night before my wedding to ask if I had any questions? Heeehehe!!!

    Yep, I agree...the boys need a man to present 'the talk'!

    God bless ya and enjoy your day! I bet the countdown is on! :o)

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  10. I learned a lot from my friends, but also my mom. I don't remember it being awkward or uncomfortable. She found some dirty Mad Libs that my friends and I were playing and had to tell us what the terms actually meant!

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  11. We didn't even talk about tampons and pads in my house. I was somewhere near 8 or 9 and I brought a tampon to mom (she must not have hid it well enough? It was brand new) and I asked her what it was and she snatched it out of my hand and put it under her and was sweating. She said, "Don't worry about that!!"

    So when I started my period at 13 I bawled my eyes out. Did so monthly for at least the first 2 years.

    I just kinda figured it out on my own. I keep wanting to buy books to leave in Isabella's room and to thumb through with her every now and then. She's only 5 but.....ya know. I want to get started early.

    When I get free samples of pads/tampons in the mail, I give them to the kids (Joey too) to play with. I don't use tampons but do use pads so she kinda knows what's up with them. She's already asked me about why I have a 'pyramid' in my pants sometimes. (For some reason she won't call it a period)

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  12. LOLOLOL These comments are HILARIOUS! I love it. Will check in again later to follow-up :)

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  13. first off - thanks Matty for breaking the gender of the commenter. Oscar comment is fantastic - well I do like meatloaf!!!
    I learned from my neighbors and older brother. My mother was surprisingly frank about it AFTER I was an adult. Freshly divorced and dropping off the kids for her to watch before a date, she stops me at the door and says - "You know there's alot of herpes out there!" - oh ah yeah ah thanks.
    Off this subject but I know you are a dog lover - http://anothercircus.blogspot.com/2011/05/guilty-face.html

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  14. Oh goodness. In the fifth grade we had an all-girl discussion group with the school nurse. She gave us a little booklet to take home and read. I read it but did not discuss it with my Mom.

    I do remember a slumber party for my friend Nat's 12th birthday that year -- our friend Paula told us that a girl gets pregnant by a boy peeing inside her. Um, ew!

    When I was 13 and home sick one day, my mother sat down with me and handed me the Family Illustrated Encyclopedia about reproduction. Um, EW! She told me to come talk to her when I started having sex so I could go on birth control. Scared the crap outta me.

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  15. While these are great stories it would be interesting to hear how our grandparents were told by their parents OR other generations further removed from the 20th and 21st centuries.

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  16. I remember my mom sitting down to give me the "where babies come from" speech when I was about 12. I told her I already knew (to save both of us the embarrassment of her having to tell me) and she said, "Well, you explain it to me then!" Trust me ... that was even worse!

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  17. Funny post.

    I didn't have a single talk that I can recount here. My understanding of sexuality is an aggregate of so many locker room talks and Cinemax After-Hour features.

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  18. Oh boy, I can't get past the meatloaf! HAHAHA!!

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  19. Oh hilarious!!! I have to admit, the nurse had to call me today... My oldest was playing at recess and "hit is private on a bar." The nurse calls and says, "Would you like to come up and check it or take his word that it is only bruised." Uhhh... I think I will take his word. LOL... Thanks for this post! I needed it tonight!!!

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  20. Lol!!! That's awesome!! Yeah, I remember "the talk" and then I had to hear it again when my mom told my little sister - it was probably one of the most awkward moments ever!! All my sister had to say was "eww" and then went on with life! The joys of parenthood!

    http://sweetandsassy-sherry.blogspot.com/

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  21. How funny! My mom liked to skim over "that stuff" too. She never used the words, mostly just references to them. I got a pamphlet with pictures and I believe she hoped I didn't want details. She was cool enough to order a "starter kit" we found a coupon for from one of the big hygiene companies. It had neat information and lots of samples. While my husband will be ready to hide from the girls, I'm ready to be open and unembarrassed to talk, and I suppose that's coming soon. As for the boys, he feels ready to handle that, I wouldn't even know where to start.

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