The Newest 4444 Family Member

One day, Mr.4444 stopped at a gas station and was all the way to the door before he realized it had gone out of business. That's when he noticed the "homeless-looking" woman sitting at a table near the door. She was selling baby dolls. As he turned to go back to the car, the woman called out,

"Aren't they lovely?"

He turned and observed the collection of obviously-not-new dolls.

"Aren't they beautiful? I just love them."

Feeling sorry for the woman, Mr.4444 asked how much the dolls cost, and she told him, "One dollar each."

He felt sorry for the sweet lady, so he chose the "nicest" doll and gave the woman a dollar.

That was a great investment; Mr.4444 brought his "new baby" home, and it's been a member of the family ever since. 

The baby has no name, but Mr.4444 (always the entertainer) cuddles it every now and then and calls it his "baby." (He's always wanted to have another one but hasn't gotten any cooperation from his vasectomy.) When we laugh at him, he feigns offense and tells us not to be mean to "the baby." No one validates the status of the new infant in the house (It's kind of creepy.), and we have begun hiding it in various locations in order to disturb the family members who find it.

First, the "baby" was placed in Kyle's bedroom, where he found it and exclaimed, WTH?  He put it in the kitchen cupboard, where it was discovered by me.  I placed it in Mr.4444's drawer in the bathroom. From there, it found it's way into Kyle's duffel bag full of stuff he was taking back to college (He found it before he left.). I frequently hide it in the guest bathroom (to freak out our guests who like to snoop in people's cupboards, of course).

Last night, the baby was discovered in Kendall's bed. She does not appreciate her new sibling (even though she, too, frequently asks me to produce a baby brother or sister for her), and she was not in a good mood at all (boyfriend issues) so she kicked the baby out.

This morning, on the way to school, Kendall received a text message from her dad....

"You're grounded."

Puzzled, she replied, "huh?"

"You left your baby brother on the kitchen floor."  

Kendall replied, "I didn't leave it there; I threw it there. LOL"

"Not funny. Heading to the hospital..."

So, for just one dollar, our family has a lively new source of entertainment. I highly recommend it. (It's much, much cheaper than going to the movies.)

Oh, and P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR.4444!!! (or should I say Daddy?)