Tuesday, March 12, 2013

With This Pasty, I Thee Wed

Mr. 4444 and I celebrated our 23rd year of wedded bliss last weekend. It just so happened to coincide with my decision to make pasties, one of Mr.4444’s favorite meals and a U.P. favorite. (Yes, Mr.4444 is a Yooper.)  Early in our marriage, I learned that one way to a happy Mr.4444 heart was homemade pasties, and I do love the man (as well as pasties), so I try to make them once a year.  While I was preparing them, it occurred to me that marriages are like pasties.

We interrupt this post for a lesson on the word pasty in the context of this blog post. The pasty to which I am referring is pronounced past-ee, not paste-ee. I’m referring to the Rated-G, food-variety of pasty, not the Rated R pasty reserved for stripclubs and bedroom-adventure types. K?

Like marriage, the pasty-making process is long and complicated but a labor of love; (No angry wife would ever dream of making her husband homemade pasties, btw.) and any smart husband desiring of a homemade pasty knows that it may take a little persuasion to get his wife to go along with the process. You see what I mean?! Pasties truly are like marriages!

Pasties, like marriages, come in many varieties. For example, some have carrots, some don’t. Some have rutabagas, and some don’t. Some people are perfectly content to eat pasties containing ground beef, instead of beef roast, and others wouldn’t dream of it. 

If you like pasties, as hard as you might try not to, you may find yourself judging other people's pasty recipes. Pasties, like some marriages, are spicy. Some are bland, and some could use more beef and less potato. Some people like a little variety each time they enjoy a pasty; others like to stick to what’s familiar. The important thing is that you fill your pasty with love and whatever makes your union a happy one.

Some pasties, like some marriages, can look a little awkward in the early stages,

and some, like some marriages, look perfectly fine from the outside 

but hide flaws beneath.

Fortunately, they don’t have to look perfect to be delicious; when a pasty gets burned, you can still cut out the good parts and have a nice meal.

An ideal pasty has a nice, flaky crust, but no one’s going to turn a pasty down if the crust isn’t perfect; as long as it holds everything in, it’s good. (Wait, is this a post comparing pasties to support garments? Never mind.)

The process of pasty-making is a labor of love, but it’s no fun to make them by yourself. In our case, Mr.4444 cuts up all the meat, I make the dough, and we meet somewhere in middle on the rest of the prep; some years, he cuts the onions (and cries), and some years, I do.  This year, we started our pasties at 8pm on Friday night. Just like when our kids were babies, Mr.4444 went to bed around 11, and I stayed up til 1:30am, seeing the baking through and waiting for the pasties to cool before packaging them up and putting them in the freezer. (No, I did not put our children in the freezer--work with me, here!)

While someone besides your spouse might try to influence you to share your pasty, don’t be tempted; the only thing about pasties that should be shared outside of the marriage is the recipe.

Mr.4444 adds that a pasty is not perfect without ketchup, just like every marriage needs catch-up time.  Also, when enjoying pasties, it’s important to wait until everyone else is finished before leaving the table.

And finally, every pasty and marriage needs one of these...

I kid! I kid!

Sorry for not having a photo of the inside of our pasties, but like a marriage, some things are just private, for heaven’s sake!

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