Monday, November 23, 2009

I've Still Got It. I'm Just Not Sure If Anyone Wants It

At least three different men I met today were obviously attracted to me. I'm saying they were clearly interested. One even became mesmerized by my blue eyes. Seriously; one even called a friend over just to look at "her awesome blue eyes." He could hardly take his eyes off of me, and he came back to talk to me at least twice, a big smile on his face.

What?

Well, yes; I was selling the men beer at the time, at Lambeau Field.

What?

Okay, yes, it was the third quarter of the game, and they had their "boots full," and the smiles were sloppy. What's your point?!

I used to be a looker. Yeah, yeah, I'm not pretending I'm hard to look at these days or fishing for compliments. I'm just saying I used to get checked out in a way I'm not checked out anymore. These days, walking through a mall, young, good-looking men only look at me long enough to register that I'm not 20 years old, and their eyes move on, though not in an unkind way, just a disinterested one. At first, it hurt a little, but I've adjusted.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not a complete wreck; I do take pride in myself and try to look nice on a regular basis. Nowadays, though, the only guys who really check me out are in their 50's and 60's. I assume they think they're still in the game and that I'm not out of their leagues. That's okay; I don't mind; at least someone's stroking my ego (besides the handsome Mr.4444 who always adores me, of course, and still thinks I'm hot, thank God.)

I saw a woman in Victoria Secret the other day who was probably 50-something and was dressed like a teenager; she looked ridiculous. I don't begrudge her some sexy lingerie (hey, I get that s-e-x is fun at any age), but I don't want to be that woman; the one who is trapped in a time-warp and trying to clawing her way back to youth.

I don't need to have anyone but Mr.4444 attracted to me, certainly, but I wonder...

*When does a woman decide she doesn't need to look hot anymore and just needs to be presentable or, at best, nice looking in a regal, grandma kind of way? What is the cut-off age? Is it 50? 60?

*When should I stop blow-drying my shoulder-length, blond-from-a-bottle hair and start making weekly appointments for my blue rinse-and-set?

*When do my skirts need to fall below the knee (and no exceptions)?

*When can I start farting out loud and pretending I don't hear it?

*When will I know it's time to stop showering and just spritz with body spray?

As my friends, will you please let me know??

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