Tuesday, March 23, 2010

"It's Not You; It's Me" and Other Lies We Told

I posed this question on Facebook last week: "Remember your first break-up? I don't, but I'm sure it was tragic at the time." My sister Michelle and a childhood friend, Holli, checked in:

Holli-- I did the breaking up - every time, actually. I am very fickle - and when it's time to go, it's time to go! Call me cold-hearted, but I'm not wasting any tears on that!

Me-- Holli, did they call you "Heartbreak Holli?"

Holli-- My mom always told me: "There's no use crying over something your sick of!" She was SMART!!!!

Michelle-- Holli, I wasn't smart like you. In fact, I was a dumbass. He asked me back out and I said yes. Numbskull. Then, a few days later, he said he was going on vacation with his family. They never came back. It was a long-standing joke that he and I are technically still dating. If you gave me a name, it would have to be Moron Michelle for THAT one.

It gets better, too. After our first kiss, at Astor park, I called him on the phone and we talked about it. For several minutes. Then I heard laughter. It was his big brother pretending to be him. I never hung up so fast. Gee, thanks, Barb for stirring up these horrible memories!!!!!!! ; )

Any time, Sis.


  1. My first break up was not my doing. After a few years I was so glad that it happened. This post is so funny, I really like the gumption of Holli.

  2. I am laughing out loud at your sister's break-up (or lack thereof)! Poor girl!

    At least she had someone to break up with - NOBODY EVER asked me out in high school. Not ONE single date. I went to prom solo. My mom said it was because guys were intimidated by my beauty (*snort*).

    In college, I was really stupid. I dated a jerk...who was simultaneously dating 3 other girls...we all lived in the same dorm. I still cussed back then, and after I found out, I rode up to him one day on my bicycle, and told him he was "effed-up," and a bunch of other things, and then rode away.

    Good times.

  3. Hahahahahaha! I was always the one to be dumped. It was weird, because even if I didn't like the person I would never break up with him for some reason. But that was when I was young and stupid. Out of my zillion boyfriends, I broke up with 3.

  4. What else are good friends for other than to stir up those horrible memories!!! Heeeheehe! Now I'll be singin' all day Neil Sedaka's "Breaking up is Hard to Do!!!" I tell ya'll it really doesn't take much to set me off.

    You have a wonderfully blessed day, sweetie!

  5. That is the worst break-up story ever! Thanks for the laugh and I hope Michelle does well in therapy.

  6. That was hilarious. I don't have any horror stories about break ups I don't think. This kind of stuff always makes me glad for that...;)

  7. I didn't date much and then got married at 20 so no horror stories to share but I did enjoy these. Especially talking about that first kiss with his big brother! LOL!

  8. Yes, you did bring back memories that were so TRAGIC then and so laughable now. Isn't that great!

  9. Yes, back then it was horrible and now I look back and can laugh! :)

  10. awww... I hate this one. Yes, I do remember it. It was my high school sweetheart. He broke my heart. Even 20 years later it breaks my heart. Of course, I'm happily married now and life is good, but there's always the "what if."

    ps- I'm not fb friends with him... but I am with his mom. Sometimes I look and remind myself that I'm glad he's happily married too.

    But still. What if?

  11. I met Bob at 14 and married him at 18. We're redneck like that.

  12. OH, your sister is a hoot! technically she's still dating him - rolling on the floor! love it!

    Kristin - The Goat


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