Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Rants and Raves, Letters Edition
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Dear Sing-a-Long Sound of Music,
Where have you been all my life, and why are you hiding out in faraway places like Seattle and New York City? Please, please, please come to Green Bay (or even Chicago!) soon. I can't tell you how much I would love to be in that audience (I even have a nun costume ready!)
Signed, The Girl Who Knows the Words of Every Single One of Your Songs
Dear Narrow-Minded, Crabby Volunteer Woman Who Quit Today,
I'm really glad you stepped down from your role; you're a hateful woman. The time you spent in that position is better spent addressing your mental health issues. Good luck with that.
Glad You're Gone
Dear Dad, Uncle Dick, and Aunt Dorothy,
As you know by now, Aunt Shirley left for heaven on Monday night. I'm sure you were there to meet her at the gate. Her family is glad that her suffering is over, though their hearts are broken. Herbie and Aunt Rae miss her already, of course, and we'll be doing our best to comfort them. Please tell Aunt Shirley we'll miss her admonishing us for skipping church.
Dear Dairy Queen in TinyTown,
Your deep-fried cheese curds are the bomb!! Thank you for hitting the spot after school today. You may have just replaced the Blizzard on my list of guilty pleasures.
Signed, Butter Buns
Dear Pamela A,
You are a hoot, but I still throw up a little in my mouth when I see you (can't wash that trashy video out of my mind completely.) Please put some clothes on.
Your Dancing-With-the-Stars UnFan
Dear Google Docs,
I love you very much. Thanks for all you do for me; you're a peach.
Dear Whoever knows How to remove Disqus from a Blog,
Will you please, please help me figure out how to get rid of it? I had saved my template, but that computer crashed, so I no longer have the old template.
Signed, Tearing My Hair Out
Sorry for the mostly-negative ranting; just needed to get it off my chest....