Brianna, at Real Life Mom has started a crusade to strengthen marriages. She calls it The Vigilant Wives Club, and I have joined.
While I often sing Mr.4444's praises, and while I do tell him I love him often, I don't often think consciously about what I do to strengthen or hinder our relationship. Just because we've been married 20 years doesn't mean I should get overly comfortable. I've decided that participating in The Vigilant Wives Club is a good way to become more conscious about my marriage, and thereby strengthen it.
As a first step, I took stock of what I've done for Mr.4444 lately that shows him that our marriage is a treasure to me. Here's what I came up with:
*I got up in the middle of the night last night to let the danged dog out, instead of pretending not to hear him.
*I saved some chicken for him today when I made lunch for the kids (he was gone) and made him a sandwich when he came home (starving) and asked me if I would.
*I offered to make a new pot of coffee for him when I took the last cup of the first one. (I know; Mother Theresa would be impressed.)
*I offered to ride with him to Tinytown when he agreed to run an errand for Kyle, even though I was tired and feeling quite lazy. (He happily accepted.)
*I made supper tonight. (Okay, so it was frozen fish and macaroni and cheese, but he was very appreciative.)
So, yeah, little things that don't mean a lot in and of themselves, but at least I know I'm not totally ignoring him.
Then, I decided to take stock of things I've done lately that could be hurtful to our marriage over time:
*I declined to take a walk with Mr.4444 when he offered, choosing instead to keep playing on the computer. (In my defense, it was 30 degrees outside.)
*I forgot to put his GPS back in his truck when I borrowed it yesterday. (He's probably signing the divorce papers now.)
*I discounted some of his opinions in a recent "family meeting" about an important decision we are making, implying that he didn't know what he was talking about. (Yeah, my Wife of the Year Award is slipping through my fingers...)
I really don't like putting this stuff out here like this, but I feel it's important. And yes, I realize these behaviors aren't all that horrible, when you consider what I could be doing, but I believe that, over time, getting too comfortable with one's marriage can open a crack that could lead to a chasm.
So, today, as a member of The Vigilant Wives Club, I am making a commitment to consciously take some steps (starting now) to show my husband that he is a treasure to me. I'm not sure what those steps are yet. I'll keep you posted...
P.S. Thanks, Cobi, for leading me to Brianna's page:)