Thursday, July 22, 2010

Note to Self

A very tiny speck of you knew that it was not your fault.

A small part of you knew that you were not "stupid" or "a dummy."

A small part of you knew that you did not deserve to be slapped in the face/head/butt or grabbed by the scruff of your neck or arm in a hateful way.

A small part of you knew that there was nothing "wrong" with you.

A small part of you knew that you truly did deserve those compliments from teachers and others.

A small part of you knew that you were special.

A small part of you knew that you deserved happiness. 

A part of you believed that God did exist.

A big part of you knew that you could learn a lot if you listened, worked hard, and remained open.

A big part of you knew that you could write, sing, and be funny.

A tiny part of you believed that you might marry a wonderful man some day and have a beautiful family.

A big part of you knew that you were were a treasure, a precious gift.

Thank you, so much, for holding onto these parts...

...until I was old enough to catch up with you, and put the pieces together.


inspired by Tara's Inner Child Dialogues

32 comments:

  1. Oh wow Barb. This stirs up many memories, and feelings, for me. I could make up quite a list myself. No, I won't do it publicly, but many thoughts come rushing back as I read your list.

    It's something how when you look back at your own childhood, with an adult perspective, you suddenly realize so many things.

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  2. I love this, and identify with is very much as well.

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  3. Well done! I hope the lessons we learned in our childhood are helping us as parents create a happier dialogue for our children. This was beautiful.

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  4. Absolutely, Tara! I think it's one thing to think, "I'm not gonna let that happen to my kid!" but for me, it took a lot of work to get to the place where I could understand it and learn how to stop the cycle. I think it's not easy for anyone if you haven't worked on your own "stuff," too. Of course, that's another post! :)

    Thanks, Matty & DM :)

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  5. That was really nice. I read it twice. a big part of me may send it to someone else to share!

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  6. This is very cleverly written and very true. No matter how lacking in confidence we are, for most of us there is nevertheless always a small part of us that does believe in ourselves and it is only as we grow, sometimes for a very long time, that we can really pull it all together and find the confidence to really believe in us.

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  7. I have such a big lump in my throat reading this. Growing up the way I did things like this trigger the little girl in me. I am so happy for you that you listened and that your life is safe and rewarding. You deserve it. For someone like me, this is an awesome wonderful post. Thank you for writing it and sharing it.

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  8. That's just about the best post I've read in a while. Awesome!

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  9. Very beautiful, I think that in some way, everyone can identify... Thank you~ Blessings on your Day

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  10. "A big part of you knew that you were were a treasure, a precious gift." And that part of you was absolutely correct.

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  11. this was beautiful and really helps. maybe I can try this one too :)

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  12. Wow, Mrs. 4444's!!! You once again brought me to tears. You are such a precious person and I'm so glad that you have shared these with us. I hope you never forget how treasured and precious you are!

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  13. So many blogs giving me so much to think about today. Beautifully written. I could feel the joy and hope expanding from the small parts to the big parts.

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  14. I love this! And no, Mr. Fairway does not talk in his sleep...but I do!

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  15. I'm sure this speaks volumes to many of us. Thanks, this was beautiful.

    Ya'll have a terrifically blessed Thursday!!!

    (I've been messin' with my blog all day....' had no idea that your blog background could expire!!!)

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  16. A very nice collection of parts and a good way to reflect.
    It's interesting how you label from a speck to a big part.

    All the best to all your parts.

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  17. Amazing and powerful!

    I had that small speck in me that knew the truth. I'm so glad that I started to listen to it.

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  18. Love this! I'm going to have to re-read it and make my own list.

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  19. I really loved reading this post... I saw your blog comment on In Real Life... I am a new follower...

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  20. Wow. That is a tear-jerking and inspiring post. Thank you for sharing it.

    I think you did quite well when you grew up and put the pieces together.

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  21. Very thoughtful and thought provoking! I will read it again, and then again! You seemed to be drawn to the blogs by some very courageous writers. I am grateful that you share them with us!

    God Bless you!

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  22. Thank you for sharing this. I am starting to realize why your blog suits me. I think we lead a very similar childhood.

    I know part of me will always be facing these childhood deamons, but I'm happy I pulled throug the majority on top. I see it in my children, and that makes me happy and sad at the same time.

    <3 Hugs!

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  23. I'm scrolling through all these posts - amazed at the number of people that connect with the points of your list.

    I thought I was alone.

    Did you?

    Did all of us?

    It is amazing that so many could feel so scared and hide it all so well. Bravo, for speaking our minds and our hearts and letting it all come out.

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  24. wow, that's how it goes - but I could never write like that, beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

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  25. Wow, what a lovely post!

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  26. Loved it the first time I read it and still love it today. It leaves me speechless, hence no earlier comment. Just needed to let you know how special this was to me.

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  27. Beautiful. You know what? I big puffy heart you....and I'm glad you held onto the good parts too.

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  28. What an amazing piece of writing. Love it.

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