Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I'm a Sick Woman

Believe it or not, every single time a student runs past me in the hallway, I have to consciously resist the urge to stick out my foot.  I know, sick, right?! I can't help it.

I’m the “Running Nazi” at our school; I HATE it when kids run in the hallway, mostly likely because I have been smashed into at least three times, each time leaving me with bruises. I also had a student who was running full-tilt, backwards, when he smashed into an aide, resulting in her need for multiple chiropractic visits. So, I hate runners.

I’ve developed a reputation for, shall I say, “holding kids accountable” for running in the 6th grade hallway. The consequence for an infraction (office referral) is detention during lunch (no recess, and they eat their lunch in a quiet room in which no one is allowed to talk.) It only takes one infraction for running to teach a kid, usually. I’m willing to write more if necessary, but really, it’s not my favorite thing to do; it's time-consuming, and I hate having to call parents to narc their kids out. In fact, I even made up a “speeding ticket warning” to give to repeat offenders. With a few exceptions, the warning ticket has helped most students get the message without my having to write an infraction.

I've only written 3-4 infractions for running this year (the word is out, I guess) but lately, sitting at my classroom desk, I can hear kids sprinting down the hall, only to stop when they reach my door, walk several steps, and then return to 100mph. Today, I heard one such offender and “pulled him over.” I didn’t know him, and he looked like a sweet little boy, but I didn’t know how sweet until I asked him to read the “ticket.”

First, though, I asked him for his name. He was speechless for a moment; I had to ask him twice, and he finally managed to squeak it out. I filled out the rest of the slip and then asked him to read it aloud to me. Poor little bugger only made it through the first sentence before he was so choked up that he could no longer speak.


“Keep reading,” I prodded, straight-faced (but LMAO inside). He almost sobbed through the second sentence, but I could hear the hope in his voice by the end of the third.  I handed him the slip and sent him on his way to lunch (he walked, of course.)

A colleague of mine later told me that he saw the boy right after he left my classroom. He said he was folding up the “ticket” and putting it in his pocket, looking "a little shaken up."

And that’s just the way I like it.

19 comments:

  1. Oooh, you mean teacher! LOVE. IT.

    You reminded me a blog idea about the kid I drove from my class just four days before the end of the semester - which were the last four days of my teaching career before I had my twins. Don't worry, he had been gone since the second day of school, and was a jerk. I told him that I was pregnant with twins, tired, and in no mood to handle his attitude during the last days of my career. I told him he could either change, or I would be happy to help him find a new English teacher. He found a new teacher. And that's the way I like it!

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  2. I hate the runners! And I love your "ticket"...some of these kids just need someone telling them what they should and shouldn't do!

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  3. I'm sure that sticking your leg out would yield some pretty dramatic and immediate results. =)

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  4. That's awesome! I always "resist the urge" with kids running in the grocery store. I can't stand it! I have had near collisions so many times. Thanks for doing the dirty work!

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  5. You have probably scarred that kid never to be on a track team too. Haha!

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  6. Sick? Nah. I'm constantly telling Dominic to slow down inside our HOUSE. He runs everywhere. Maybe I'll use your warning system... :)

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  7. Too funny you are one tough cookie! I like it!

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  8. I can see you by the door - aviator glasses... radar gun.
    Hair tied back. Stern face.

    great idea. A nice way of solving the problem.

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  9. good job, kids need direction -
    I'm passing this one on to my teaching daughters.
    I'm thinking those speeding tickets with your autograph might be worth something after you publish your best seller book.
    Do the teachers hide in the hallways like cops catching speeders on the roads?

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  10. My mom was an elementary principal for years, so she's stopped many many many speeders. But one thing she always said was she could never tell a kid who was skipping to stop, because you only skip when you're happy, and she just couldn't bear to rain on their little parade.

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  11. Skipping as in the little hop step hop step thing you do ... not skipping school.

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  12. That is hilarious! I love it!

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  13. I like your speeding ticket practice. You would make a good police officer.

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  14. I love it! The "tickets" are an awesome idea. Great way to think outside of the box on the discipline forefront

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  15. Love your ticket! :) You show 'em Mrs. Fours!

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  16. Oh, how I was laughing when I read this! Last year during my last bus duty, one of the TAs told me that the first graders were talking about how mean I was! I must be sick, too, 'cause I just love to see them squirm! :D

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  17. I like your warning ticket idea. It's always a good idea to warn the kids first I think before going to the parents. Often times, smart kids will get the message.

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  18. I love it! I can see you, too. Laughing uncontrollably when they get tripped, I mean fall, from running.

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  19. You are so my kind of traffic cop.

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