Monday, October 4, 2010

What to do...

Lately, I've been in a little bit of a "blog funk." I've been blogging for three years now, and I wonder if I've run out of things to say.

I found an article called When to Quit Blogging, which really doesn't tell you when to quit, but did have this observation, to which I could relate:

Here’s the thing about blogging: it requires constant tending, and as with that orchid plant that now lives in my bathroom, I’m not doing such a good job.

I also feel a bit like a failure, since I am absolutely drowning in comments I haven't replied to, and since I feel like blogging is about relationships, I know I've been a rotten friend.

When poking around for a topic for tonight's post, I also came upon this excellent article from teen blogger, Robert, who wrote, You'll Never Get Everything Done, and That's OK.  Robert's idea encourages me to get over my blog funk and just relax, but I'm not sure I can embrace that idea; I'm just a "do-everything-100%-or-don't-do-it-at-all" kind of person.

What to do....

I'm not sure, but I suddenly feel over that "must post every single day" thing. I wonder if I'm being a quitter or just being hormonal. Hmmm.

For me, blogging allows me to spew my thoughts/memories/ideas, and I love the opportunity to inspire people (and make you laugh) very much. I also love, love, love the relationships I've formed with so many of you; I think about you often--your health, your kids, that job you applied for, your new business venture, that baby you're cooking, but I just haven't been able to keep up, and that makes Type-A me feeling like a failure.  I've been wondering if I should just stop blogging, as if I don't deserve to have a blog if I'm not doing my part to tend to the relationships it's brought me.

But what about Friday Fragments? I love Friday Fragments!! And Saturday Sampling and Sundays in My City!  Could I possibly just post on weekends? (Or maybe I could sell Friday Fragments and retire?! I wonder how much I could get for it. Any takers?)

Mr.4444 has been after me for years to write a book. Maybe I should focus my energies on that, instead of saying, "Yes. I agree. Some day I probably will."  But then I get stuck on what to write about! (Parenting? Teaching?  Fiction? Non-fiction?) See my dilemna?

What to do...what to do....

How do I decide?

[UPDATE: My heart is so full--Thank you for reminding me of why I've loved blogging so much.  I so appreciate your loving encouragement to blog for me, when I feel inspired, and not out of obligation. I will definitely be catching up with all of you soon.  I love you guys...thanks.


  1. No no no!! Don't stop! You're one of my bloggy inspirations (seriously...I'm not just sayin' that). I would miss you lots if you left. I know I'm not on here every day, but I, like you, have had to learn to give myself permission to not do everything. And that means not feeling guilty for not posting every day, or for only being able to check in on fellow bloggers' posts when you can. You still welcome me back with open arms when I haven't checked in for a few days, right? (Please say I'm right!) See? Same with me. And all of us. I'm positive you've still got lots to say, and I wouldn't wanna miss it.

  2. I used to worry a lot about my blogs and then it dawned on me. I do them to share my thoughts, stories and photos with anyone that cares to look. They are fun, they sometimes get to be a bit much, but in the end, I don't want them to be a job. Just an outlet.

    My two cents :)

  3. I started blogging in 2006 and I sure have seen this before. Now I really didn't figure out the connecting with other bloggers until late 2008 (slow learner?). But I have seen too many good bloggers just drop it. Please don't you are very good at it.

    But something bothers me about you questioning this. You (I think from my observation) are NOT the type of blogger who gets frustrated and just seeks the begging of the readers saying "oh please don't go". The blogging must be starting to interfere with real life in a negative way. That's a bad situation.

    I say blog if you get some enjoyment from it. Don't let it cause stress.

    Blogging on just weekends would be a great solution. It might even be easier for readers to keep up.

    I know two bloggers' email addresses I could provide you if you want ask them about their stopping or slowing down.

  4. Nothing says you have to post something EVERY day. You have three solid linky posts that just take maintenance so other than those, you should just post when you actually have something you want to say. I find that when I decide not to post for a day or two, something always comes up anyhow. This week may be one that I actually don't post something for a few days on my main blog.

    I don't think everyone who leaves a comment expects a reply, at least I don't. Us type A people just have to prioritize and be realistic about how much we can do and focus on the important things in life. Keep blogging as fun and not a chore--that's the key.

  5. By the sheerest coincidence, one of my favorite knitters held forth on this very subject last night. It's your blog, and should be fun for you. It's not a job and we have no right to have any expectations of you. Relax, but please don't go away completely!

    Check out Glenna's mission statement at

  6. OhCaptain is right, don't let it become a job. Think about why you started blogging in the first place.

    I'm going thru a drought myself right now, mostly because I have too much to do at work.

    And as for writing, don't think, just write. Whatever is going to come out is right :)

  7. You have done such a tremendous job with your blog, please don't stop (even though I agree it should be fun for YOU)!

    I found myself spinning in a perpetual tornado a few weeks ago during this particularly chaotic time of year and decided something had to go. Twitter was first, followed by the need to blog on the weekends. I have even - gasp - skipped a weekday on occasion. I observed that the world carried on just fine(!) and that I felt significant relief.

    Regarding comments, do NOT worry about not responding! 'Ethel' and I respond (or try) because we have so few commenters, but there is no way we could respond to big numbers, especially on a daily basis.

    It's perfectly okay if you allow your Type A to become a Type A- (or even B+) when it comes to your blog because it will STILL be good!


  8. I don't normally respond to comments for one main reason - So many people have the "no reply" email address that I don't realize until I've finished my reply. It just bums me out.

    My take on your situation is that you should do as much or as little as you feel good about doing. At the end of each week (or say, on Tuesdays) cross the blog off of your list and start over. No hundreds of unread emails hanging over your head, it all got erased at the end of the week. If you didn't get to a blog on Friday Fragment day or by the end of you week, then it's forever off your mind at the end of the blogging week. No remorse, no guilt. This blogging thing is supposed to be fun :)

    I love coming here and would miss you something awful, but you need to be satisfied with your blogging. That's all that truly matters.

    Kristin - The Goat

  9. Don't go away!! Do what the captain said....all of us enjoy your writing and stories. I never started blogging and expected comments and certainly not a reply I think many are like that. Use it for a outlet your real friends/followers will be happy to just enjoy a laugh or cry together.

  10. Do whatever makes you happy, if you do ease up on the posting the relationships you've built aren't going to go away just because there's not a new post every day. You can't get rid of us that easily ;-)

  11. I would not want you to retire in the least but I would do FF for you! :) xoxo
    please dont go.

  12. ps. do what you can and when you want to. we will all be here when you do........enjoy it :)

  13. Sounding rather ACoA there dearie. Might need a meeting....

  14. I don't really know you all that well, but I can say this, "I like you!"

    I only began blogging in June of this year (I think). And I must say, I never thought of blogging as building relationships until a while back when I did my first Friday Fragment and you offered me some fantastic blogging advice.

    It's okay if you do not remember. It doesn't matter! It just matters that you made a difference, positively, on someone else!

    I never expect to get a reply from others on a comment that I made on a post. When I truley enjoy reading something, I like to let that person know! No strings attached, and no expectations of reply either.

    What ever you decide to do, I hope you know you made a difference in my life.

    Thanks for that!

  15. For me, I don't take blogging so seriously. It has to be fun for me or help me write out something that means a lot to me. I write when I have time and I read other blogs when I have time and I won't let all that put pressure on me. We are boxing up our stuff and getting ready for a big yard sale this weekend and then at the end of the month a move to a different town so that is taking time right now. But it is a happy thing and we are doing it in bits every day so when the day comes to pack the truck and move we will be ready.

  16. Mrs. 4444:

    You are a natural writer and writers sometimes need to stop and re-energize. Take some time and pursue what is important to you. I'm sure we will spoon up every update from you and look forward to having you sign your first book deal. Just negotiate movie rights in your favor.

  17. These are really helpful, sweet comments; you've helped me think about this with a lighter heart- Of course, you've also confirmed what I love most about blogging--the friendships. Thanks, everybody :)

    I look forward to replying to you personally via email :) (Right after I delete the 500+ that are currently in my inbox!haha)

  18. If you stop I will just inundate (sp) your email box. I enjoy your posts - Hey look at me _ I'm lucky I get a post or 2 a week. I can wait for a post from my friend!

  19. If you stop I will just inundate (sp) your email box. I enjoy your posts - Hey look at me _ I'm lucky I get a post or 2 a week. I can wait for a post from my friend!

  20. You can't stop. :)

    I don't think it is necessary to post every day. That would probably kill me off. I think you should post when you have something you want to say or share.

    And sharing the spider stories is fine as long as there are NO pictures! :)

  21. Maybe just blog on weekends....for a little bit. Until life slows down, or you feel inspired again, or you find that you just miss us too much!

    That is okay. The great thing about blogging is that you make your own rules, and if you rule for right now is "I only blog on weekends unless specific during the week inspiration hits me" then that is the rule. And it is okay.

    We will all still love you.

    Especially when you name all the characters in your book after us. And let us be extras when you get that movie deal.

    I have been overwhelmed by comment-returning lately too. I'm doing my best and forgiving myself the rest (it was hard at first, but once I got the hang of it, it was so freeing!)

  22. I agree with Kirby and Jen and others. Think about what YOU want to happen each week, do only what is doable and comfortable, then relax! We will all still be here and blogging will be a joy and not a chore. You have our permission to slack off. We all get to the spot you are in. We wish life could continue on the same as it has always done, but we are made of dirt, and we are not Superman. :) Glad that you can be honest with yourself. :)

  23. I have been thinking more or less the same thoughts. Before I went on vacation I was starting to question the time and effort I put into my blog, which started out as an escape and of late has felt more like a ball and chain around my foot. On vacation I realized just how relieved I was to not be blogging and when I returned I took another week off.

    I love my blog, I love the handful of very special friendships that have resulted from it and the conversations I have with so many others, the connections and that knowing others "get" what you feel or are experiencing. But maintaining a blog and those relationships is so time consuming.

    So I have yet to find a solution but know I need to somehow cut back - but like you that does not satisfy my need to always do the "best" of jobs.

    Let me know if you have a brainwave, I could use one too :-)

  24. would this (if you went through with it) be called blogicide?

    As Led Zeppelin once sang -
    Oh oh oh oh oh oh
    You don't have to go, oh oh oh oh

    When I read the post you wrote
    it made me mad mad mad
    Never mind I just couldn't resist the use of a Led Zeppelin song. I'm still trying to get the border control to adopt "Immigrant Song" as their theme song.

  25. Oh I so love your blog! I can totally relate, although I only have what 21 people that read my blog, LOL

    I think you should take some time to re-evaluate things and then do what you can and when you want. Keep FF's and Saturday's Samplings and SUndays In My City, why can't you just blog on the weekends? I can only do it during the week and well lately I have really sucked at that! LOL

    I just think Life happens, to us all. I really love our friendship and hope it continues via e-mail if you do stop blogging to write a book, which I will buy! LOL

  26. Just blog about any ol thing on your mind you want to can't get to every comment and thats just fine ... no need for a reply in my book because comments are from readers to you ...

  27. Consider why you did it to begin with. It wasn't for relationships, right? Those were an added bonus. You will get those from whatever ventures you choose. You did it for enjoyment, an audience, and to influence. You can do those 3 things via a book, AND get paid well for it. You can also do those by weekend blogging. I don't think you would have started blogging if you thought it involved so much obligation. That takes the fun away. You always make the best decisions, so no worries. : )

  28. In my humble opinion, I think you are being too hard on yourself. Take a step back! Don't stress over posting every day. Put your time into the posts you enjoy.

    And while I may not participate in Friday Fragments every week, I love that meme and would be sad to see it go! So you must keep going just for that.

  29. I think that you have higher expectations of yourself than we have of you. Your personal style is to reply to all the comments you receive, but not everyone expects a reply.

    Keep in mind that we are all in the same boat. Blogging has many facets....writing posts, reading and making comments on other blogs, responding to comments, browsing and finding other blogs we haven't yet discovered, and so on. And on top of it all, we have our real lives to live too. Jobs, family time, life responsibilities, that all eat up our time. It's too much for any one of us to write every day, respond to all the comments we receive, and read and comment for others too. In my humble view, you should relax about it, write as often or as little as you like, and only reply to comments that you feel a need for. The relationships will still be there.

    Now, go write that book.

  30. Blogging doesn't have to be a daily event. Only do it when you want to and are enjoying it. That's when you are at your best anyway.

  31. To say "You'll never get everything done" is so darned true and striving to disprove that theory -well, that's setting yourself up for disaster and defeat. Accept that you can do only so much in any given period of time and do your best to taking care of what's got the top priority at the time. To stop blogging now would be giving up, quitting and one thing I think you are not is a quitter! Your voice is a bright light shining for many to hear and take heed about so many diverse things!

  32. Wow, I've been dropping by from time to time and truly enjoy your writing. Please don't stop. It's encouraging to hear from people who have been doing it for a while, because many of us don't make it that long in blogging. I think you a far from failing, in fact, your blog is an inspiration, which is a huge accomplishment in my book! Good luck with whatever you decide.

  33. Well, looks like you have been given some really good advice by lots of others, so I'll just ditto what they have said. When something is no longer fun then I have to rethink it. I could never commit to blogging every day. It would just be way too much and take all the fun out of it for me. Blessings on you as you work through this.

  34. I can relate. I'm Type-A too and I've had the same struggles with blogging over the years. It can really drive you nuts if you let it. I've taken extended breaks and come back refreshed after that. I've been more relaxed about it lately. I think most people don't expect a response on every comment or a visit all the time. You have so many commenters and followers that it would take so much time to do that. I do hope you don't totally stop blogging though because I found your blog a month ago and I love it! Just do what feels right.

  35. Poor, overwhelmed, Mrs. 4444s!!! Don't stop completely!!! Take a break. Blog when you can. Comment when you can. I know I am feeling badly about not getting to all my favorite blogs daily OR weekly, too. What I decided was if I had something to say, I would write that day, If I didn't, I would visit and catch up on other's blogs. We could drive ourselves crazy by trying to do it all or we could cut ourselves some slack and do as much as we can (or WANT to).
    Love you :)

  36. Never feel like I require a comment from you or a reply to my comments. I always appreciate it but I am definitely in the boat of "sometimes I barely have time to read other blogs or even write my own!"

  37. blogging (and the community) is so many wonderful things. it's fun, it's compassionate, it's loving, it's supportive, it's endearing and it's comforting. but it can also wear you down to the point of flailing. for me, blogging isn't about how many posts you do in a week (who says you HAVE to post every day?), or who's commenting where, it's more about what YOU get out of it. and if you're not getting much out of it right now (due to schedules and school and family) then maybe it is time for you to step back for a bit, or do just weekends :)

  38. ps: i never ever respond to comments, but it's something i'm working on.. :-P

  39. I don't know about the rest of these people...but I know I'm Mad As Hell, about you not answering my every single comment! And I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore!!!

    so there.

    shape up girlie.

  40. You can take the blog away from Mrs. 4444, but you can not take the blogger out of Mrs. 4444. I say, please keep blogging, but blog easy. It is for fun and not meant to be a chore or draining. People understand if you can't respond to comments all the time, you have a busy life after all.

    You never know, you might find all kinds of fodder for your eventual book from this very blog.

  41. I've been enjoying my forced hiatus from Everyday Bliss... I didn't realize how forced I felt to post everyday until I stopped. I thought that would mean I would post more over on Everyday Mommy but I'm actually posting less.... delving into the same questions you are ...

    I love your blog and hope you don't stop but please do what is best for you... Maybe try a "weekend only" thing and see how you feel about it. It might feel perfect and then you could add additional posts as a random bonus for your readers! In any case, know that I really enjoy what you write so if it turns out a book is next, sign me up for a copy when ever it is done! Outrageous joy!

  42. Here's the thing.....I could have written every word of this post and I would venture to say there are plenty others who would say the same thing. Ditch the guilt, blog what you want when you want, for an audience of ONE!

    I know......I'm bossy!

  43. i can totally relate to your type-A stresses, as i feel the same way. so i'll encourage you (as so many others have) what i keep encouraging myself: blog for yourself, when you feel like it. we'll be here reading, whether it's daily or monthly or whenever. and catch up with commenters and friends when you can... we're all bad at keeping up (or at least i am). it doesn't make you a bad friend. =)


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