Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Heard in the Classroom

We've heard some doozies in our team-taught classroom lately. 
(Mrs. K and I teach a combination of regular and special education students.) 
I'm only going to share three of them, but believe me,
I could write a book.

We were labeling the parts of the human heart in science class.
We'd learned them the day before, so it should have been a review.

"Who can tell me the name of the ..."

"The right terrarium?"

"Um, that's actually 'the right atrium," but thank you."

"Please turn in your poster that's due today."

Ethan approaches me, wide-eyed and obviously stressed.

"Mrs.4444, I couldn't find my poster; I looked behind my cubby and couldn't find it there, either."

Because this was not my first trip to town, I cut to the chase,
"Did you actually do the assignment?"


"Well, then. There's your answer to where your poster is, Ethan."

(And he returns to his desk.)

I didn't actually hear this one, unless you count hearing myself talk. 
It was in response to something I had seen while teaching the whole group. 
A little later, in a computer lab, I privately called the student over.

Holly, a few minutes ago, I noticed that you picked your nose and wiped it underneath your desk.


You'll need to go back to the classroom and take care of wiping that off. 
In the future please use a tissue to wipe your nose.


That one took place a couple of weeks ago, and during our Human Body lesson today, 
Mrs. K let me demonstrate this often-used "tactic" for nose picking in the classroom.  
[A student was kind enough to model it for this blog photo. Thanks, Kiddo!]
Believe it or not, every year, we have two or three kids 
who actually think that when they do this, no one knows what's going on.


And last (but certainly not least) we have been working on a fun project that will require students to write sincere thank you letters to each other for "Useless" gifts they receive in a nonsense gift-exchange. 

Today, Candy raised her hand and asked,

"When do we have to bring in the gay gift?"


"The gay gift. When do we have to bring that in?"

"Do you mean the the gag gift?"

"What?! What's a gag gift?"

I laughed until I cried...

Divider image borrowed from Sticky and Stubby Ideas.


  1. These are a riot! Loved the kid who couldn't find his poster, duh!

  2. I would have to wear depends laughing that hard everyday can't be easy on the bladder! lol!

  3. While I was reading those, I wondered how you didn't laugh in their face...until I read the last one! Isn't it hard to keep a straight face?? :D

  4. Lol! Awesome! I can't wait to use some of those techniques at home. Like, to the husband: "I have no idea where dinner is. I looked in the oven. I looked in the microwave. It is nowhere to be found!"

  5. One of my closest friends daughters teaches 4th grade in a high proverty school district in Washington DC. She has instituted an issues box, oh my gosh, they are ridiculously funny.

    She also posted last week that while she was riding home on the Metro and random girl asked her what school she taught at. "How do you know I'm a teacher"

    Because you're always smiling at all the kids on the bus. Too sweet.

  6. Ethan must believe in magic.
    The best handling of the nose problem would be a tissue of course but hiding the picking behind a book is better than just doing it in open.

  7. I can still name the behind the book nosepicker from elementary school....

  8. Oh body fluid...that's something I truly don't miss from the students! Heeehehehe!

    The 'gay' gift...Honey, I laughed 'till I cried!!!

    Ya'll have an awesomely blessed day! :o)

  9. I love the picture. I clearly remember sitting next to a girl in fourth grade who did the whole "hide behind the book nose pick" all the time.

    That last one....hilarious!

  10. So funny! Merry Christmas, Barb!

  11. Gross!

    "Gay gift" is hella funny! I'll bet if you Google "gay gift" it pulls up cappuccino makers or window dressings.

  12. I could read these all day! I Love IT!!

  13. Ha! As the mom of five with a mix of special ed and reg ed kids (just like your classroom!), I can relate to all of these. I'm sure you could fill volumes!

  14. Sometimes, I miss my 16 years as a 5th & 6th grade teacher...most times, not.

    And the hide behind my book while I pick my nose trick brought back so many gross memories!

  15. Whenever I visit here I miss being a teacher!


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