Friday, June 6, 2008

Why Kendall might be sorry I work at her middle school...

This story is so good, I almost posted two yesterday, but I didn't want to take away from the cute little bee story. (Don't worry; it's worth the wait!)

I have a beautiful floral skirt. It has many folds of light-weight fabric that swish when I walk and is very feminine. I was wearing it today when I used the restroom after school and then rushed off to help Kendall put on her makeup for the musical (encore performance). I walked against the flow of student traffic heading to the buses and then into the commons, where I stopped for a few minutes and talked with a parent before turning and heading into the auditorium.

The auditorium was filled with the chatter of excited middle schoolers, who were waiting for the director to give them their preshow pep talk. I found Kendall down in the front and started to ask where she wanted to go to put the makeup on when a little girl rushed up to her and whispered in her ear. It was clear that she was talking about me, and I looked down at my front and patted everything to make sure I looked alright. Kendall then turned to me and quietly said, "Mom. Your skirt is tucked in your underwear."
"What?! O M G!!"
Now, I must interject here to tell you that I do not like thong underwear. That said, I do have a couple of pairs that I only wear when desperate. Today. Was. LaundryDay.
Holding my breath, I reached back and placed my hand on a totally BARE BUTT CHEEK!!!
As is my way, I began to laugh, hard. I laughed until Kendall and all of her friends were laughing (and looking a little uncomfortable). I laughed until I cried and Kendall asked, "Mom, are you okay?? Do you need a hug?!" (and gave me one). I settled down a bit as I turned to scan the faces in the crowd (only about 50 kids or so), trying to catch anyone who might be staring at me, wide-eyed and traumatized. (They either hadn't noticed or were really polite.) One of the girls nearby said, "I was walking behind you in the commons, and I didn't think it looked that bad."
I was kind of in shock, but I wanted to ask, "You mean my butt? Or my messed up skirt?!" (I was trying to minimize embarrassment to Kendall, so I dropped it.)
I seriously have a headache right now from telling this story to people at school, and laughing, and crying. (This was just the kind of levity needed this time of year, so I spread the story like mad before anyone else could.) I'm pretty sure I'll be hearing it again (at my retirement party?), and that's okay with me, because it could have been worse...
could have walked into my classroom like that.
P.S. American in Norway and Kiwibyrds shared their most "mortifying moments" here and here. Check them out!


  1. lol too funny Barb luckily you caught the wardrobe malfunction before you walked into the classroom. Nice of your daughter to point that out. Some kids would not say anything.

  2. I so did this too, I was at work and was very pregnant. I was wearing a dress that was long and therefore had a lot of fabric to go over a very large preganant belly. I walked back to my desk, down the center aisle of a call center before one of my dear friends informed me. I was so embarassed. I feel your pain/humor. I too laughed for many years afterwards. That was 14 years ago.

  3. Tim-Yeah, she's a good kid :)
    Lori-Wow! Thanks for sharing YOUR story; I think that tops mine!haha

  4. Awesome!!! What a great story--- to have happened to you, not me!

  5. I had my shirt on backwards one day, and my kid acted like he didn't know me. So you've got a sweet girl there.

  6. LOVE this one!! I remember reading it when you first posted and almost peeing my pants from laughing so hard!

    I did this in middle school after a symphony, my dress got stuck in my hose and out I one told me, I just had to guess from their giggles that something wasn't right. I will say that now I always run a hand down the back of my skirt or dress before leaving the restroom.

  7. I love the kid who said it didn't look that bad! Thanks for sharing this tale of horror. It's something I'd do if I wore skirts.

  8. I too did this, was late for a calculus exam in gr. 13, as I had to pee first, and b/c I was late I had to walk to teh front of the class as everybody had already started and the back fills up first. So when I came in late, EVERYONE looked up. Wrote the exam then wen to the caf for lunch, then after went to the bathroom to find I had tucked my dress in my panties!!! Half the day I had been walking around. No thong, mind you, but also no one told me...arghhhhh

  9. I tend to laugh big at my own embarrassing moments too. They are too good not to. If you laugh at some one else it's rude. So, laugh at yourself.

  10. this is HILARIOUS!

    great blog...found you through blog frog!

  11. That is just about the funniest thing I have read in a while! I think I would have been crying, not laughing!

  12. Came over from BF. Okay, I have SO done this before.
    I love how you were able to laugh it off!

  13. Oh my!
    That'll be a story for the years.
    Hopped over from BF-thanks for sharing!


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