Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Peacock's Tale

I have a 6th grade student ("Julie") who can be delightfully charming some days and belligerently disagreeable the next.  She is beautiful but can be ugly at the same time; it's clear that there is much beneath the surface with this child.

Julie absolutely hates to write about anything we direct her to write but loves writing poetry "just for fun," and regularly shares her poems with me. The speed and ease with which she can whip out a poem in less than 10 minutes is amazing.  Here's the one she showed me this week (and gave permission for me to "share with some friends of mine.").

The Peacock's Tale

As quiet as the river flows
Upon a branch a peacock rose
She cried out softly to the moon
I live in fear for I'm to die soon
All of my hardships I must tell
For I am never to get well
She told of promises that she broke
She told of children that never woke
She cried about the relationship that failed
She yelled about the war between her and the quail
She told about everything in the life she led
In the morning by the river she was found dead
Yet if you go down to where the river flows
You might hear the soft coo of the peacock
as she tells of her story the night she rose.

Twelve years old...

Were you this deep at age 12?


  1. That's an amazing poem from the mind of a 12-year-old!

  2. I just read it again. Amazing.

  3. If I didn't teach 12-year-olds myself, I'd be almost disbelieving, but it's true--there is so much inside of these children, and it's almost miraculous when they let it out.

    And beautiful, too :-)

  4. I'm not that deep at 57.

    That's beautiful! I'm so glad she was willing to let you share with some friends :)


  5. Wow. I am so touched by her words. What an amazing gift!!

    I most certainly was not that deep at 12...

  6. Wow, what a gift, I can't get beyond roses are red.

  7. Peacocks just don't last like they used to.

    Something just makes me write stuff like that when everyone before me seems to be in total agreement.

    I did like it and must agree it has a message, emotion. It is very worth sharing.

  8. Amazing! I love it and at twelve years old wow!

  9. Wow! So deep for that age. My 10 year old likes to write fiction, & I'm quite impressed with her talent, but this girl goes much deeper. I'd be concerned about her history/family issues!

    Thank you for sharing this--it is beautiful!

  10. Are you kiddin'??? I'm not that deep at 58!

    Wow, I'm totally impressed and I don't impress easily. You can read much into such a troubled talent.

    Thanks for sharin' sweetie.

    Have an incredible day! :o)

  11. amazing! though, to be precise (and doesn't change the rhythm of the poem, but a she is a peahen.

    i read this to bran (he's the poet/poetry lover of the family) and asked him to guess the age of the author. he refused and was impressed when i told him.

    she's got a ton of talent. i hope it leads to other places for her. have you introduced her to other poets' works?

  12. The writer of that poem was 12?!? She is definitely a creative, old soul. And no, I was not this deep when I was 12.

  13. Julia has a special talent. I'm very impressed with this. Not only does it rhyme, but it tells a story with meaning. Wow.

  14. Hope she continues writing and letting it spill out of her like this.


Your 2 cents...