Books vs. Blogs

I am so spoiled for reading books anymore. I have so little time to read them that I expect them to be blockbusters, to engage me from the start. I feel sorry for any author trying to hook me.

I recieved The Nine Lessons in the mail one day, unsolicited and with no accompanying note from the company, though I assume it's from a publisher who wanted me to read it and write about it.

Contrived. Hates his father. Confronts his father in the second chapter so that he could get his story rolling. It's your fault; you're a terrible father. Who would say such shit? He avoids any description of his emotions leading up to that point and therefore leaves me thinking it's contrived.

Girl Stuff

[Disclaimer: The following post will make squeamish men nauseous.]

It was 1975. We were in Miss Johnson's 6th grade classroom, full of giggles, being screened for scoliosis. We girls all gathered in the huge side-closet and went out one at a time to be screened in our underwear. My friend, Amy, had a training bra that went from girl to girl that day, so that none of us would have to feel embarrassed about having no boobs. (Isn't that funny?!) A late bloomer, I was one of those grateful for the cover.

I was 13 or so when my SIL dropped off a bag of bras that her sisters (younger than me!) had outgrown. (Gee, thanks!) Mom (God love her) had attended "the class" at school with me the year prior. We got to go home early that day, and Mom sat me down at the diningroom table in our quiet, empty house, and offered (avoiding eye contact), "Do you have any questions?" Knowing that she was just as uncomfortable as I was, I shook my head, and that was it. (She didn't know that my friend's mom had already given me a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves, which was at that moment tucked under a floorboard in my bedroom upstairs.)

My friends all had had their periods forever. I read Judy Blume's Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret like 12 times. I just wanted to be like "everyone else" and join the mysterious "club" that would make me instantly more feminine and womanly. I turned 14, still without my membership card.

Funny, how I had longed for that day, but when it arrived, I was instantly and completely mortified. This is what I had been missing?! I felt offended, duped (although by no one but myself.) That Saturday, when we arrived at my country cousins' farm and I realized that I could not go swimming after all, was the day it finally clicked for me; getting your period is not cool and not something to look forward to. I should have been thanking my lucky stars to have put it off as long as I had!

Mom offered me a pad and a belt that night at home. In retrospect, I feel a little bad that I snapped at her with disdain, but was she crazy?! (Poor thing was just trying to help.) She didn't know that I had been prepared to use a tampon for more than a year.

I thank the Lord for the evolution of "feminine products," although I'm not fighting my way to the front of the line for the menstrual cup. That said, the woman in this how-to video tells you pretty much everything you might ever want to know about them. Think this is the wave of the future, or a great big step into gross?

And finally, I will end with this funny about Mr.4444's mother (copied from a prior post):

This reminded me of a funny story from Mr.4444's mom (who is at times a little ditzy, God love 'er.) When Kotex and its "two adhesive strips" first came out, she was excited and rushed out to buy a box. Her excitement turned to horror when she went to remove the pad she had unknowingly put in upside down and got it stuck to her...you-know-what. She was clueless. She said, "I shook my head in wonder about that; why in the world would anyone want TWO adhesive strips?!"

Friday Fragments

Bring me your tired, your poor, your funny, sad, random, or thought-provoking fragmented thoughts that you know someone will appreciate and you don't have the heart to discard. That's what Friday Fragments are for, and we are never disappointed. Thanks for joining me! To learn more about FF, click here.

***SO cool! Thursday night, in the middle of the blizzard outside, we saw flashes of lightening and heard thunder, twice! Wish I had it on video, because it was really freaky and amazing.

***Guess what? I won this beautiful baby snuggly set by Ahmelie at Brandy Ellen's Giveaway. I really admire both Ahmelie and Brandy, because they have inspiring entrepreneurial spirits, so I hope you will stop by and say hi. The snuggly I chose is not only functional (and will make a wonderful baby gift), but has a contemporary design that would make any tired Mommy feel like she has "still got style." The surprise greeting card was a very nice surprise, too. Thanks, ladies! :)

***My Favorite Fragmenter this week was a tough decision, by I ended up choosing Mighty Mom, who offered this:

"Why does the staff bathroom have to stay at 40 degrees Fahrenheit?? I have considered keeping a heating pad on the toilet seat on low all the time like my OB does his speculums...."

Men, I wish you could identify with the difference between a warm and a cold speculum. I guess you'll have to trust that this fragment gave all women who read it a very clear "visual." Thanks, Mighty Mom. Enjoy your award :)***Started using Disqus comments on Mrs.4444 Cooks. So far, I'm not sure if I'll like it, but the potential is exciting; they even have a VIDEO comment feature, which I love. If you've commented on Mrs.4444 Cooks in the past, your words are now hiding, so don't be afraid to pop over and leave a new one to help me work out the kinks! My most recent post was last night, for Chicken Spaghetti that is to die for!

***I stumbled upon this excellent article this week: Brain Chemicals and Modern Life from Born to Explore: The Other Side of A.D.D. The article talks about brain chemistry, our diets, and how they relate today. The thing I liked about it is that while several books are suggested, it does not appear to be an ad. One of the books recommended is The Edison Trait: Saving the Spirit of Your Free-Thinking Child in a Conforming World. The article is just a very educational, easy-to-read piece that taught me a lot about how what we eat affects our brains. I highly recommend it.

***OMGosh! Look what I found on Thursday night!!Google is recommending my blog? Seriously?! And I have 186 subscribers in Google Reader?! Wow. That just made my day!! Thanks, you guys!! That is such a treat.

I'm so glad to have a Friday Fragments post each week so I don't have to just discard those random thoughts that keep me up at night or those that just make me smile. It's so satisfying! Why don't you join me? (add your FRIDAY FRAGMENTS post to Mr. Linky, so we can find out what keeps you awake at night!) By the way, yes, I am aware that my commenting feature has disappeared; yet one MORE reason to no longer want HALOSCAN to host my comments. I'm assuming the comments are not lost forever, but in a way, I hope they are, so I can feel no worries at all about making the switch to Disqus (or Blogger). GRRRRRR!

Update: The comments are back. I'm still not happy about it, though. Grrrr.

19 Years and 19 Pounds Ago...

March 10th will be Mr.4444 and my wedding anniversary. Here's our engagement photo (We were both 26). Can you guess the year?
(What a cutie!)

Does he look like a man terrified of marriage? Well, let me tell you, he was. After six years (well, really after four) I seriously got tired of his foot-dragging, avoiding, and whining,

"I'm not ready. When I'm ready, you'll be "the one" for sure, but I'm just not ready now."

"When will you be ready?" I'd ask.

He'd always say he didn't know.

Finally one day, I forced him to sit down with me and do some "soul searching." We each privately wrote a list of what we expected out of marriage. I thought deeply and came up with a list of 5-6 things like, "Being partners. Sharing parenting and household responsibilities, trusting each other, etc."

His list? One thing (and no, it wasn't sex!): "To spend the rest of my days making you happy." (No wonder he was terrified, heehee.)

On a serious note, though, it came down to his being afraid that once we got married, the "ball and chain" would come out, and he would no longer be able to go hunting, fishing, etc. with his friends and would have to stay home and entertain me. I told him, "Mark, if you stopped doing those things, you wouldn't be you anymore, and I want to marry the man I know; the guy who loves the outdoors and knows how to have fun with the guys but remember where he lives. Trust me; I'll be happy to have the house to myself when you're gone; I'm not going to be crying myself to sleep over Deer Camp."

So, I pushed him down the aisle and tied his ankle to the altar. Obviously, he decided to trust me, and boy, is he glad. Nineteen years later (25 together), that man is the poster child for "Happily Married," and he never misses a day of telling me so.

The only thing that scares him now is Kendall bringing her first boyfriend home. (Funny; his list of expectations for that is a lot longer!)

Do you see what I see?

I ordered this free sample of "Calms Forte," (which is supposed to be a sleep aide) for Mr.4444, who sometimes has some very restless nights. Is it just me, or is there something hilarious about this?Can they be serious?

Finger Pointing

A crisis just happened to erupt in my classroom when I left it in the very capable hands of a classroom aide.

James lofted a chair above his head and threatened to kill Robert and Justin, because they had made inflammatory comments about his mother, because he had thrown an eraser at Robert (and hit him), because he was sulking and didn't want to work, because I had taken away his pleasure-reading books, because he has been reading those instead of working and had been refusing to cooperate in study hall for days.

So, basically, it's everyone else's fault.

Sound familiar?

Are you a sadist?

Once again, Very Short List has emailed me a link to something I've never seen before and found intriguing, entertaining, and bizarre. Self Control Freak is a "set of clever interactive videos that allow you to control the actions and reactions of Dutch designer, Olivier Otten." I found these sadistic exercises a bit stressful, yet I could not tear myself away without trying them out. I found some of them boring (and one inactive) but the two I mention below were fun (in a really scary way!)

Check out SelfControlFreak if you are in a sadistic mood. My favorites are #8 and #4. When you finally figure out how to get #7 to work, it's quite satisfying. Go ahead, check it out and come back to share.

Ever Been in the Doghouse?

"Tom" liked to party with the neighbors. Since we lived in a culdesac at that time, it was always easy to connect with our neighbors, especially on the weekends. It was not uncommon to have a firepit in the middle of the street, surrounded by lawn chairs, etc. One Saturday night, we had a block a party, and Tom stayed out much later than his conservative wife, who went to bed around 10pm. Just before the cows came home, Tom staggered home, relieved himself, and went to bed.

The next morning, Tom's wife discovered that he had walked in the front door and peed on the livingroom coffee table.

After than, Tom never partied with the other neighbor guys any more. (His leash was too short.)

Of course, I have absolutely NO such stories about Mr.4444 getting in trouble with me, so I've shared one about a former neighbor of ours. I invite you to do the same.

My Dieting Secrets

The pounds are coming off, slowly but surely. Here's my secret for losing five pounds in two weeks:

*Exercise for 30 minutes, walking in your school in between the end of the school day and taking your kids home from swim practice and musical tryouts. Whenever you see stairs, run up and down them twice. Do this only one day.

*IEP's--Don't complete one annual, two interim, and three partial Individualized Education Plans, which are legal special education documents and are paperwork that cannot be ignored, unless you're trying to lose weight. Save them until you start dreaming about them at night and fear the loss of your job if you don't find the time to do them. Finally, take Friday "off" to work at home for 12 hours. This will knock a whole 30% off your workload for next week.

*Make a to-do list that has 30 entries. Each day, be sure to go home with an extra 10-15 and the original 30.

*Arrange for a full moon. It does wonders for kids, causing them to create crisis after crisis that uses up every minute of your Planning time at school and forces you to "wing it" in the planning department. This is terrific for making you feel good about yourself and your competence as a teacher. Not.

*Eat more vegetables and fewer donuts.

*Narrow your caffeine addiction down to only one cup of coffee in the morning. Break up with Diet Coke (sniff). Drink Propel by the quart.

*Invite your Aunt Flo to visit.

*Make yourself the only EBD teacher in the school of 930 students. Invite the three grades and nine houses you work with to change their schedules two days this week. Be sure you have students who cross houses for some classes, so that you and your students can be sufficiently confused about the changes.

*Take six 8th grade boys with emotional/behavioral disabilities to the high school to see Hello Dolly, and stay for lunch as part of a transition experience. Make sure you let them bring their gang-symbol hats so that you can have something to argue with them about at the meal. Let them go ahead of you as you leave, so that they are stopped by high school staff and have the opportunity to demonstrate their colorful vocabulary and make a great impression on their future lunch supervisors.

*Add one School Board meeting. Have your son be the Student Liaison for the high school and your daughter be the middle school representative who hands the board a check for $571.00, raised by Student Council to aide in the purchase of a drug enforcement dog for the village. Beam with pride. (This will be the only dopamine infusion you will experience all week, so soak it up!)

*Send 810 emails (yes, in two weeks. And just for work, not at home)

*Receive 640 emails (none of them spam, and only about 5% Fwd's)

*Have some brilliant intellectual suggest that it's a good idea for a "random sampling" of boys with emotional/behavioral disabilities, who would rather poke sharp sticks in their eyes than take reading tests, participate in the NAEP test. (It's a national, standardized test and is not really optional.) Even better, have them choose the boy who last week told you to "F--k off" in the middle of a simple 20-minute reading assessment. Chiseling away at the self esteem of adolescent boys is a great way to increase stress, and thus, weight loss.

*Sell concessions with your students. (Make sure one of them disappears into the choir room with a girl for a few minutes.)

*Call Child Protective during your lunch hour, not just once, but four times this week, for four different students.

*Add one unemployed husband who you know is holding it together but needs your support. Thank God that he loves to cook and will keep the home fires burning for you.

*Be grateful for friends, especially Michelle, Dawn, Marilyn, and all of your sweet, loving blog- reading cheerleaders, without whom you might just lose your mind (or at least shove a sharp stick in your eye.)

*Be happy that your wonderful husband and two loving kids will massage your shoulders as you sit at the computer and give you all the love you need to get you to the next day.

It's not a Wii, but it works.

How are you holding up?

Friday Fragments

Welcome to Friday Fragments, where we share our favorite bits and pieces from the week! Click on the button above to learn more.

***Our water pump went out on Monday night. Tuesday morning, I washed my hair with water that had been in the Brita pitcher. It was a bit cold, but my hair has never turned out better. I might make a habit of waking up that way. Not.

***Kendall (JoJo) tried out for the musical, Bye Bye Birdie, on Tuesday. Call-backs were posted on Thursday, and she was on the list. Cast list goes up today. She would love to get the big role but wouldn't be surprised to not get a lead, since she had one last year. Keep your fingers crossed, as we would sure love to hear her sing on stage again. [UPDATED: Kendall got the role of Mrs. McAfee, Kim's mom. She's perfect for it; level headed, responsible, etc. Kendall is very happy.]

***I am absolutely, unequivocally, completely exhausted and overwhelmed with work (and have been all week.) Don't be surprised if I don't post this weekend. I just need a rest. I'm taking today off so that I can get some work done and not worry about having to teach at the same time. Wish me luck!

***On the bright side, I've lost 2.5 pounds in the past two weeks, having been without my beloved Diet Coke all this time, exercising a couple times, and eating smarter. So, I'm happy to say that I'm a Loser.

***The cat's out of the bag; Mr.4444 is unemployed. We finally told the kids this week, and I am relieved to not be holding a secret any longer. He's got some prospects. We know it will all work out for the best, but prayers would be appreciated :)

***In case you missed it, I posted about my Favorite Fragmenters from this week here.

Got a Friday Fragments post to share? Do add your FF post here:

Thousand Words Thursday

Kyle (age 11) and his cousin Robbie, at 'da huntin' camp (in Michigan's U.P.), 2003.

Visit Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy for more great pictures that "say a thousand words."

Beef: It's What for Dinner!

Aunt Bette's 5-Hour Oven Stew is one of our family's favorite meals. The aroma that fills the house is wonderful, for starters. The recipe is also easy, and it brings the family to the table for sure; especially Kyle. He has a stew "ritual" that makes him almost giddy to think about. As you can see from the pics, it is very serious business:

1st, cut the end off of the French bread loaf (ends are reserved for Kyle, if one values his/her knuckles.)Next, hollow out the core, (using the innards as an appetizer, of course.)Then, stuff the insides with beef, carrots, sweet potatoes, etc.Top with a little stew gravy.Inhale.Belly full, Kyle turns his attention to Grandma4444, who begins her story.... "Well, I'll have you know...."
For your new favorite stew recipe, click to Mrs.4444 Cooks!

Friday's Favorites

I couldn't decide which Friday Fragment was my favorite last week, so I decided to post the top four in a post of their own!

And the award goes to...

The Hawaiian Rambler at My Rambling Thoughts, who shared this:

"A nasty unfamiliar looking bug took a nose dive down my shirt the other day. While I freaked out, it suffocated between my breastages and is now in bug heaven. (Or wherever they go after Kamikazi'ing.)"

And speaking of breasts, Jen, at Tutu's Bliss, offered up this gem!

*I think I have some kind of freaky hormonal imbalance. Anyone else sporting a breast mustache?

Jen's blog is a new one to me, and I love it! She's got a great sense of humor and knows how to host a great giveaway!

The award also goes to Sheri, at Life, Love, and Other Drama, for this:

And, why is it that the later you are, the slower the person you get stuck behind? I HATE getting behind someone who wants to go 45 when the speed limit is 55. And then, when you hit the broken lines, they decide to speed up to 65. What the heck??

I feel your pain, Sheri, as does poor Mr.4444, who almost has an aneurysm when this happens to him on the road. (Just kidding, Honey. And don't worry; I won't talk about "The Incident." )

And finally, Tena echoed thoughts from many BlogHer Wannago's when she said...

"but I would sooo have to lie to my husband [the cop] about where I was going- he would definitely not be cool with me meeting a bunch of my 'pretend friends' from the computer- he'd use words like 'pedophile', 'lesbian lover', 'predator', and 'body bag.'" [Thankfully, I will not have to lie to Mr.4444 about this one. Maybe that means he's ready to get rid of me?!]

Thanks for being so entertaining this week, everybody. (Seventeen Fragmenters! I think that's a record!) Hope to see you again soon :)

How naps can end up costing you...

Recently, my sister, Michelle offered up a terrible lie involving two irresponsible sisters and her nose. She invited commenters to share their own "nose stories." Before you read mine, read Michelle's, because they are related. [update: Michelle no longer has a blog, so I took the links out.]

I will never forget the time....

About 14 years ago, I had put Kyle (age two or three) down for a nap and heard him long afterwards still singing, talking, giggling, etc. Since I really wanted him to sleep, I entered the room to reprimand him and found him with his hands up in the air, making a "huh?" gesture. He said, "Hmmm. It's up there!" Not caring what was "up there," but only about the fact that kids who don't take naps are crabby kids later, I sternly replied, "That's enough now! Go to sleep!" He finally drifted off.

Flash forward to later in the week. Kyle is lying on the floor in front of me as I change his diaper. Suddenly, I see a little flash of something white, inside his nose! I try to get a better look but cannot quite see, so I tell him to stay there, and I retrieve a flashlight. Shining the light into his tiny nostril, I see what appears to be something with a white background and...part of some type of cartoonish face! WTH?! I fetch tweezers and try to pick the thing out, but Kyle is too wiggly.

Later that afternoon, we are in the doctor's office. He pulls out a long, tweezer-like tool and has me hold Kyle down while he extracts.....[drumroll here]....a tiny, child-sized band-aid, which has a picture of the infamous Ernie (of Sesame Street) on it! The doctor said it had likely only been in there less than a week (or it would have stunk to high heaven.) I then flash back to the nap earlier in the week. I had laid Kyle down after having placed a tiny band-aid on his pinky finger to cover up some type of imaginary boo-boo. When he had said, "It's up there!" he was referring to the band-aid he had just shoved up his nose!

And this is why I will not take responsibility for Michelle's getting a Coco Puff stuck up her nose; if I hadn't suggested it, she probably would have thought of it herself, anyway!

Mr. Sensitivity

Kyle, Kendall, and I read like fiends. Mr.4444 has read maybe one book in his lifetime (Moby Dick), which is odd, because he's truly one of the smartest men I know (I guess it must all come from TV.) Last year, his New Year's resolution was to read one book. I searched high and low and settled on The Five People You Meet in Heaven, but he only made it through a chapter or two. For his birthday in October, I bought him A Fine and Pleasant Misery, by humorist Patrick F. McManus, as I had heard it was hilarious. He hasn't cracked the cover open. So, we tease Mr.4444 about his non-book reading (and he goes along with it; it's kind of a family joke.)

I've long since stopped fantasizing of reading a great book together and philosophizing about it later, but I haven't given up. If I happen to be reading a good book, I try to entice him by reading parts to him when we're in the car (he's driving, a captive audience, of course.) Just today, I started reading The Shack, which is so far a sad story, but compelling. William Paul Young is a wonderful writer, and I start gushing about it. Already on page eight, he writes this beautiful simile, so I share it with Mr.4444:

"Mack never talks much about him, but when he does, his face loses emotion like a tide going out, leaving dark and lifeless eyes."

I say, "Isn't that beautiful?" Mr.4444's response: "You mean all the dead fish and the clams?" (Of course, he says this with a twinkle in his eye.)

Undaunted, a few minutes later, I share this metaphor from page 12:

"It was even difficult to enter a conversation that might tear the scab off his wounded heart."

"Isn't that awesome?" I gush. Mr.4444 replies, "It's kind of gross."

Kendall is in the back seat. As I'm just finishing the Foreward, I say to her, "I always wonder if anything in the foreward of a fiction story is true. Don't you?"

Before she can reply, Mr.4444 quips wryly, "That question has been haunting me my entire life!"

Maybe Uncle John's Bathroom Reader is going to be the extent of his literary exposure...

Me and My Homies

I'm teaching some "alternative curriculum" now, in a class we call SUCCESS. This means that instead of social studies or study hall, six boys who haven't found success in regular ed classes or typical special ed classes come to me for lessons in anger management, communication, job skills, etc. One of my goals is to get them feeling like they are important parts of something; the class, our school, their community. Part of this experience means that we are out and about in the school together, helping out on school-wide projects, or just together because I can't trust them to walk down the hall without talking loudly, shoving each other into lockers, forgetting to get back to class, etc.

They are a motley crew, for sure; baggy pants, over-sized t-shirts, sullen looks. A friend and colleague commented recently (smiling), "Barb, whenever you're walking down the hall with your students, you look like gang." That's right; it's me and my"crew." To me, they aren't really scary anymore; they are more like unruly puppies; barking, chewing on stuff, and wrestling very chance they get (which is never, if I can help it.)

One thing we're doing to raise money for field trips and such is selling concessions at the girls' basketball games after school. I usually only take one student at a time for this (one is plenty), but we all work together to pop the popcorn and set up the table, etc. in the last hour of the school day on those days. It can be very stressful accomplishing this task with six boys, at least three of whom who are hyper, loud, impulsive, and/or oppositional.

The other day, when we were setting up, the local "milk man" came to fill up his vending machine near the table we were setting up. He was very friendly and introduced himself to me, because he was new and would soon be filling my Student Council ice cream freezer. The boys were fascinated with the workings of the vending machine and asked all kinds of questions (including the predictable hint, "What do you do with the extras?" and the bold, "Do you have any extras?")

Two days later, who should I see at the freezer outside my classroom but Dave, the milkman. As he handed me the invoice for the ice cream, he said, "You sure have your hands full." It took me a minute to remember what he was talking about. I smiled. He added, "Seriously, I don't know how you get out of bed in the morning!" This cracked me up, and I laughed hard, out loud.

See, that's why I love doing what I do; people appreciate it. When people tell me, "I don't know how you do it," it makes me feel special. I love working with these kids. I know I'm doing what I was destined to do, and I consider the opportunity a gift.

But don't tell my boss that; I want him to think he owes me.

Friday Fragments

I'm so glad you've joined me today for Friday Fragments; it's always nice to be able to purge the random thoughts from the week with friends! (For more about posting Friday Fragments, click the button above.)

***Like cute baby stuff? Check out Brandy Ellen's latest Giveaway of a Spa Time Baby Cozy Care Cape at her blog, Writings of a WAHM. (You have til Monday to enter.)

***I found some of the best photographs I've ever seen at f/ll this week. His header alone is fantastic. Wow. Thanks, JTF, for sending me to your talented hubby's site. You have a gem there! :)

***A student I've had for two years (who'll be going to high school next year and who would probably call me one of his favorite teachers) told me to "F--k off" this week. Let the separation begin...

***We were talking about angry fathers one day recently at school. One of my students (who doesn't live with his parents) said, "When my dad got pissed, he would beat my ass for like three days, until I was puking." Ten seconds later, he added, "But he's pretty cool, though." WTH?

***My Favorite Friday Fragment this week was Yaya, of Yaya Stuff:

"Teeth are weird." I mean really, have you ever thought about teeth? What the heck, they all come in individually to make a whole unit. Why don't we just have a row of white enamel instead of so many separate ones?

Yaya-you are brilliant. I'd love to Photoshop such a row (and would, if I had Photoshop.) Take this badge, if you like. (Cuz I have no money to award you.)***And finally, my favorite fragment (of mine) this week; offered to me in an email from classroom aide today. Kelly has a great sense of humor and is a very hard worker. She sent an update on one student's homework completed today. She ended her note with this (regarding 7th grade health class),

"On a funnier note, sex ed started today. Andy thought semen was a spice. Charlie still thinks it's all gross and still doesn't know how the sperm gets from the guy to the girl. (I'll let the teacher handle that one.)" Yup. She does not get paid nearly enough to take on that job!

***I would love to promote your Friday Fragments post! Please feel free to share your link here. FF posts only, please. (Non-FF post will be deleted.)

Thousand Words Thursday

That's me in the bikini, about 25 years ago. This is my favorite photo from that Daytona Spring Break. Isn't it great?!

Ah....the good old days.

Thousand Words Thursday is the brainchild of Jen, at Cheaper Than Therapy. Head to her place for more great shots.

School Funnies

A fellow (near retirement) teacher who is not very computer literate decided to use Google to answer a student's question in Social Studies. We are studying ancient Mesopotamia, and one student was drawing a camel for a booklet she was making and asked a question Mrs. S. could not answer.  Shocked at what Google had produced, Mrs. S. called me over to read it.  She had typed in "camel's tails." Guess what she got?

Wordless Wednesday

Circa 1994

I swear this child was fed.

We're All Connected

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a guy in Chicago by the name of "Scope." He had found me through a sort of spider-reaching experiment of his, and it inspired today's post. First, I have to say that I know almost nothing about the Six Degrees of Separation thing I've heard about on Facebook. I am simply too lazy to research it, but from Scope's post, I got the gist. I think it refers to someone's supposition that we are all connected in some way and that...aw dang it! Now I have to go read up a little... Okay, the idea is that everybody on his planet is separated by only six other people.

Here's what I decided to do; I went to a blog that I know (sorry; don't remember whose) and opened her Followers list. From there, I chose a follower that I did not know and poked around her blog. From there, I chose one of her Followers that I did not know, and so on. I set out to get very, very lost in cyberspace and see if after connecting with six bloggers I did not know, I might find someone I do know in the last list of Followers. Here's what I found:

The Adams Family is a family blog, obviously. She has five kids and a very full life! From there, I found....

The MagnetWear Blog , which has seriously-adorable shirts for little kids, BTW. Her blog led me to...

This Little Light of Mine Michelle's blog is new (she has only two followers); be a nice neighbor and drop by with a cake or something, will you? She's very sweet. Her "Light" led me to...

The Jones' Journey-Pour thing just had surgery on her toe and could use a get-well hello!

Huse Blog Is It Anyway? belongs to a fun, crafty, happy mom named Virginia. She's been blogging since 2005, so I knew I'd find plenty of Followers. I looked to see if I knew any (which is what this 6-degrees thing is all about, right?) and I did not.

At this point, having found myself surrounded by strangers (I had not seen a familiar face in 15 minutes), I thought, "Holy Cow! There must be a bajillion bloggers on this planet! I began to realize (duh!) that the 88 blogs in my Reader are but a spit in the ocean of bloggers out there. Wow. Just wow. Anyway....

Amy of Chapters was the 6th blog I picked, mostly because she is gorgeous, honestly; her photo was beautiful. Turns out she is beautiful on the inside, too. When I saw that she has more than 200 followers, I figured I'd hit the jackpot and would know someone.

I was right, sort of. From there, I saw The Rambler, whom I do not know, but I know that The Rambler that I do know is her long-lost twin!! How cool is that?! It was my first time at her blog, and I am now hooked. It's easy to see why The Rambler adores her; she's funny, entertaining, sensitive, and thoughtful. She's a gem.

So there you have it. In eight degrees, through seven blogs of strangers, I found someone that I know! How weird is that?! Maybe the blogging world is smaller than I thought.

Sleeping Your Way to a Better Body

Charlie was a middle school student with bipolar disorder and was very oppositional.  One day, I was helping him with a word problem in math.  The question asked how many calories a person burns lying still in bed for ten minutes. The answer was 12.3 calories. Charlie said,"The answer is 123."

"Charlie, think about your answer and ask yourself if it's logical."

Charlie (in a snotty tone) insisted, "It is! It's 112.3 calories!! That's right!"

I asked, cheerfully, "Charlie, does it seem reasonable that a person could burn 112 calories in ten minutes just lying in their bed doing nothing? If that were true, then everyone would be going to bed to lose weight , not jumping on treadmills or exercising. Why don't you take a look at your decimal point."

He stubbornly held it his ground; "I already did! It's right!"

I want to live in Charlie's world...

For more posts about Charlie, read Pants on Fire, Three Blind Mice, or When Middle School Boys Plan Vacations.

Honestly Awesome

My bloggy friend, Mel, tagged me and gave me an award to pass on. She took the edge off, though, by offering up another one of her SHTs (look closely):Since she was willing to dislocate her thumb for me, I figured I'd play along. Thank you, Mel!!The honorees are to: a) first list 10 honest things about themselves (and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep!) B) pass the award on to 7 bloggers who embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap, and whose blogs they find brilliant in design or content.

So here are my ten honest things:

1. I'm kind of bummed about this recent "heat wave." (44 degrees today!) It means I might have to start shaving my legs again soon.

2. As kids, my sister and I used to bite our toenails. Our own, or each others? I'll let you guess.

3. I had to drag my husband down the wedding aisle kicking and screaming. Ever since then, he's been a major advocate for marriage, but it took six years to get him there.

4. I am not really a dog person, unless the dog is quiet, polite, and lets himself outside in the middle of the night.

5. I wish I had a Wii Fit. On the other hand, I'm glad I don't have a Wii Fit, because then I'd have no excuse for not exercising.

6. I often go to bed without brushing my teeth. My dental hygienist raves about how great my teeth look, so that kind of reinforces my laziness. (Hey, I floss every day, so that has to count for something!)

7. Two years ago, I lost 25 pounds. Guess what? I've found it.

8. Right now, my kitchen looks like a bomb went off in it. It's 11:00pm, and I don't think the Dish Fairy is coming tonight.

9. I cheer a little (inside) when one of my students (any one) is absent. (It's not usually personal; I just appreciate the lighter load.)

10. I took the counter off of my Reader so that I don't know the grand total of how many blogs I haven't read lately. It makes me feel like I might really be able to catch up !

Okay, so there. Yours don't have to actually be confessions! (I guess I needed to purge.) And guess what else? I'm not going to tag you with this meme (do it only if you feel inspired), because as far as I know, there is no such thing as the Meme Police. But I do want to pass on the Honest Scrap award. Please feel free to take it, but here's another one to choose from as well (It's my favorite.)This award goes to each of you; friends IRL and in those in Bloggyland, because I just appreciate you so much and want to say thanks!

Have a great week.

Music That Takes You Back

I had an entertaining conversation with an 8th grade student this week...

Mrs.4444, have you heard that new song, Brick in the Wall?

New song? I know an old song by that name.

No, it's a new song. It's by Korn. It's called Another Brick in the Wall. It has a part that goes, "Teacher, leave those kids alone!" (He smiles.)

I smile back. "We don't need no...ed-u-ca-tion? We don't need no thought-control?"

Yeah. So you've heard it?

That's actually an old song, Shawn. I used to listen to it back in the day. It's by a group called Pink Floyd.

No, it's by Korn. Do you want to hear it? I brought my MP3 player. I'll let you listen to it.

Okay, Shawn. Sure.

So I listened to the remake of Brick in the Wall, by Korn, and it's pretty good, but not as good as the classic. I used to listen to it after bars, in a dark basement bedroom, with my high school boyfriend. I almost never know the name of albums, but Dark Side of the Moon is indellibly marked on my memory, probably because of the many, many times I heard it during that five-year, tumultuous relationship. Not coincidentally, I also associate REO Speedwagon's Time for Me to Fly with that same boyfriend. Thank God I did (fly).

What song(s) do you associate with a particular time in your life?

Friday Fragments

Welcome to Friday Fragments, the best way to unload your random thoughts from the week. (Keep a little notebook for your fragments; in no time at all, you'll find you have plenty of gems to choose from and a post that writes itself!)

***Favorites*** Here's my Favorite Friday Fragment from last week. It came from Nonna, and I'm guessing that a lot of people share her experience:

"I don't know why, but i have all of a sudden been "found" by tons of people from high school on face book. it's pretty neat to reconnect with them, but i find it funny that some of the people who treated me like total shit, are now "oh, i'm so glad i found you!" Yeah, right. Either they are full of shit, have "found God", or going through a 12-step program and are starting their amends. lol" Nonna Grab your free button, Nonna! (Is this your second one?!)***Losses*** I've joined a "Biggest Loser" team at work. Yes, I know; I'm not huge or anything, but it's either that or buy a new wardrobe. I could stand to lose ten pounds. Anyway, I figure that whether I follow through or not, either way I'll end up a loser, so it's all good.

***Wins*** Kristie's cookbook prize-Sure would love to send Kristie the cookbook she won in my Giveaway, but she never contacted me to tell me how to find her or where to send it!

***Friendships*** Today is my sweet friend, Jen's birthday, according to Facebook! Why not pop over to Cheaper Than Therapy and wish her a Happy Birthday!!

***Prayers Needed*** Please, please pray for my dear friend, Molly, who lost her son, Ryan, in late October. She is experiencing the darkest days of her life; every moment is a struggle to keep a safe distance from (as she calls it) "the edge of human existance; the breaking point." She's doing all the right things. (If only "things" could fix this.) Please, just pray strength for her and some peace. Thank you.

***Quirks*** Whenever I hear a tune being sung, whistled, or even tapped (no matter how short a piece), I find myself singing it minutes later, without even realizing I'm doing it. Kendall likes to get me going by singing one line of a song and then elbowing her dad to watch what happens. Sure enough, moments later, I find myself singing some random song and Kendall giggling. Is there a name for this?

You know you have fragments; why don't you join me? (Friday Fragments Posts, only, please.)

Thousand Words Thursday

April 2007 Golden Apple AwardsCame across this one when writing the "Jewelry Thief" post the other day. What a treasure, huh?

For more great pics that say a thousand words, visit Jen, at Cheaper Than Therapy.

How to Practice for a Colonoscopy

Mr.4444's grandma, Grace, who passed away several years ago, had some "colon issues." Let's just say he affectionately refers to her as the "Queen of Pollups." So, a couple of years ago, his doctor recommended that he undergo a colonoscopy.

He got his paperwork, which listed Monday, the 15th, as the "big day." On Sunday night, he started the preparation, which, as many people know, involves "cleaning out" one's "system" by not eating a thing, but drinking a special solution and about a gallon of water. He diligently followed the instructions and basically spending the night in the bathroom with explosive diarrhea. One box of wipes and a long night later, Mr.4444 hurried off to his appointment; apprehensive, but grateful that it would soon be over.

After 15 minutes in the waiting room, he was summoned by the receptionist, who
sheepishly said, "Mr.4444, I'm afraid your appointment is not until Friday.

The bastards made him go home and do it all again on Thursday.

Our "Filet of Soul"

Grandpa4444 (Bob) was an excellent cook. From his stir-fries, to his chili's, to his homemade wines and venison jerky, it was always a treat to be fed in his house. He always made plenty to take to work or a neighbor's house, or just in case another place at the table needed to be set.

I especially appreciated Bob's cooking, because I was a neophyte cook myself, but he was always praising my efforts. One meal of his that we especially loved was his Fillet of Beef Moutarde Forestiere. He made it a couple of times a year; sometimes for particular occasions, but other times, just for an extra special meal. When I gathered recipes for the first family cookbook that I made for my side of the family, I knew I had to have Bob's filet in there, so I got the recipe from him.

The last night we had dinner all together at the 4444's house, we were celebrating Grandma4444's birthday, and Bob was making his filets. Bob was always happy when cooking, and I was glad to see him have something to smile about, as we had lost his 90-year-old mother, suddenly, just six weeks prior. His heart was broken, and I knew cooking dinner for us would help lift Bob's spirits.

Whenever he made the filet, he added lots of extra mushrooms, because he knew I would come into the kitchen to steal some as he cooked. (I think he would have been disappointed had I not, as it became a little tradition of ours.) That night, preparing to sneak some of the sauteing slivers of mushroom heaven, I literally thought to myself, "I'm glad I have this recipe written down, because some day, he won't be here to make it for us." Of course, since he was only 65, I had no idea that would be the last night Bob would lovingly prepare a meal for us.

After dinner, we prepared to leave, and each of us got a big bear hug from Grandpa. His last words to me were, "I love you, too, Honey." The next morning, he was gone, having suffered a massive, fatal heart attack.

There are more stories about Bob in this blog, but I'm writing today's post as background for a Mrs.4444 Cooks post. Last Saturday, Mr.4444 prepared his dad's famous dish, in honor of his mom's 72nd birthday. Brother4444 was in town with his family, and we really had fun. The meal was fantastic, there were many moments of laughter (so much that I cried more than once), and we had a great time playing Apples to Apples and the Game Wave.

Food; recipes, memories, gathering around the table...I'm so glad we've held on to our families' traditions. They bring us all together and keep us connected, no matter how far apart.

Thanks, Bob. We love you! :)

My Husband, the Jewel Thief?

A few years ago, I (along with several others) had the honor of receiving an award for my teaching. The award ceremony was broadcast on local television; it was kind of a big deal. (On the big day, award recipients were even picked up in a stretch limo and driven to the venue!) I had my own cheering section, of course...
I bought a formal gown for the occasion, and I was stoked to learn that that year, a well-respected, upscale, local jeweler was going to deck each of us out in some finery.

Here, I must divert you to a little background on my jewelry personality. I am not a big jewelry freak. Though I do admire it, I don't need to have a lot. Except for my wedding ring (my only ring), all of my jewelry is costume, because I have a bad habit of losing earrings, and I just don't have the time to be monkeying around with bracelets, etc. I do love Lia Sophia jewelry, because I think it's beautiful, and because it's not that expensive; I'm not horror-stricken when I lose an earring. When this story takes place, there are three blue boxes of Lia Sophia jewelry on the kitchen table.

The day before the big event, I went to choose my bling. This particular jeweler is definitely an upscale jeweler. They sell many one-of-a-kind pieces, as well as jewelry designed by master craftsmen. I was in over my head in that store, and uncharacteristically, I allowed them to choose the jewelry for me. WOW. My jewels included a necklace and earrings pairing by designer, Charles Krypell, valued at about $13,000.00. Yup. (Here's a pic of me wearing them next night. Wish I had a closer shot; it doesn't do them justice, so you'll have to trust me--they were stunning.)

Of course, they didn't trust me to take the jewelry home that day; they promised to have it for me the next night, at the awards ceremony.

So, the big night came and went, we had a fabuous time, blah, blah, blah. For some weird reason, the jewelry store owner trusted us to go home with our jems, as long as we promised to return them the next day. As anyone who knows me (especially Mr.4444) would understand, I was a nervous wreck about having responsibility for those valuables. I mean, I seriously lose my keys on a daily basis; I did not trust myself to take them to school with me the next day and then keep track of them long enough to run them after work! So, I decided to leave them in Mr.4444's capable hands (he's the level-headed one.) He said he'd return them for me in the morning.

The next morning, before leaving for work, I left the jewels in the bright red boxes they came in, sitting on the island in the kitchen. Mr.4444 called me around 8am to ask where they were, and I told him, "They're right there, on the island, in their boxes, all ready for you."

So, Mr.4444 grabs the jewelry boxes off the kitchen table and runs them to the jeweler. When he got there, he recognized a long-ago friend working there, so he handed the boxes to a lady who appeared to be waiting and went over to catch up. After a couple of minutes, the the woman approached him and politely said (smiling), "Sir, I think you may have made a mistake." Huh? Of course, Mr.4444 had not seen the boxes containing the $13,000.00 in jewels on the island and had instead brought the $60 worth of Lia Sophia baubles.

He turned a little red.

How hard do you think they laughed after he rushed out the door to go back and get the right boxes?

Miss you...

Grandpa4444 (Mr.4444's dad) was seriously one of the best grandpa's a kid could ask for; he collected junk like crazy (but always had what you needed), fed the squirrels and birds in the back yard religiously, was a master gardener, and could make a Pinewood Derby Car like no one else. He was incredibly snuggly, nurturing towards little ones, and a fantastic cook. I could go on and on, but I'm already choked up, so I'll stop there.

Here he is, in 1995 or so, showing Kyle the wild grapevine that grew in the backyard of the 4444 family homestead.

Six years ago, Tuesday, since we last thanked you for dinner, kissed you, and told you we loved you... Miss you, Grandpa4444.