When Frugality Meets Vanity

I am cheap about some things. I don't like to pay money for stuff I can do myself. So...when I finally caved to my hairdresser's suggestion and had my eyebrows waxed, I was appalled to learn that it cost $12. Twelve dollars for four minutes worth of work?! That's $180 per hour, people!

So, of course, I bought my own waxing kit a few weeks later. How hard could it be? Smear a little sticky stuff under your eyebrow and then do the mutilation yourself. I heated the wax, applied a little under my left brow, applied a little pressure to the "dressing," and prepared to wince. Voila!

Did I say "Voila?" I meant SHIT! Low and behold, I had cleanly ripped the outside half of my eyebrow OFF! That's when I spewed a few more expletives and tried to figure out what to do with the other brow! I had half an eyebrow on the left side and a caterpillar on the right. I couldn't leave that one hanging, so I learned from my mistake and did not press the wax up into my brow this time. The result was fairly decent, so I grabbed an eyebrow pencil and drew in the rest of my left eyebrow. Not bad. It'll grow, I figured.

The next day, I went to work, and it was an hour or so before I looked at myself in a bathroom mirror and realized that I had forgotten to draw on the rest of my left eyebrow after my shower that morning! What to do?! What to do?!

Desperate, I ran back to my classroom and dug through my desk drawers, hopeful for an eyebrow pencil. Of course, I did not have one, but I had a flash of genius. I grabbed a brown Crayola washable marker, raced back to the restroom, and carefully swept the marker across the blank spot. (Gives new meaning to the words, "Self Portrait," doesn't it?)

For future reference, brown Crayola markers, when applied to dry, pasty-white skin, do not leave a nice, brown line. Instead, they leave a nice, orange tint! And that "washable" part? Not as washable as you might think. I was a walking cartoon character, and there was no denying it.

The funny thing was, not a single person noticed my orange eyebrow that day. I eventually pointed it out to a friend, and we laughed until we cried.

Thanks, Because I Said So, for the inspiration for this post. As for your request for advice on waxing the "nether regions," that's another post in and of itself. (I think I'll call it, "Scream.")

Friday Fragments

TGIF, huh? All there is left to my long, concession-selling, conferences-filled work week is to unload my fragments. Glad you joined me!

****I'm sick and tired of Haloscan dropping the emails from comments on my blog. I'm also not that thrilled with Blogger's comment feature, so I'm in the market for something else. Is there anything else out there that you can recommend??

****slwilco@embarqmail.com Is this your email address? For more than a month, I've been getting mail returned to me from this address, though it's not in my address book. I think it's a blog commenting thingy, but by the time I receive the notice, I've been to so many blogs, I'm clueless as to whose it is. Please solve the mystery, if you can. Thanks.

****Because I, too, hate Activita commercials, Krystal earned my Favorite Friday Fragmenter award for this week, with this fragment:

I hate Activia commercials. I have NEVER had a conversation with one of my friends showing pictures of our holidays and then one of us saying, "...but now I'm irregular."

(I guess it's safe to say that hemorrhoids are off the table of conversation at Krytal's "Girls' Nights!" Here's a little prize for you, Krystal (if you still don't have heat in your house, hopefully this will at least warm your heart.)****Missing my Reader this week (have you missed me?) Please forgive me if you've wondered where I've been. We had conferences two nights this week, plus a night selling concessions, and I started teaching a new class. I look forward to catching up (at least a little bit) this weekend.

****Cooked fancy one night recently. Check out Mahogany Broiled Chicken with Smoky Lime Sweet Potatoes and Cilantro Chimichurri at Mrs.4444 Cooks! I should probably call it Mr. & Mrs.4444 Cook, but he's always teasing me about my blogging addiction, so I don't think he should reap the benefits, do you? Plus, he's not dressed properly for cooking fame in that post; he's going to have to throw away those 1982 Levis first!

****Copied a ton of posts to my special overflow page that includes only posts about my mom. It was a lot of work, but I'm really happy with it. To read all kinds of posts about my silly, sweet, playful mom, click here or on the "About Mom" tab in my sidebar.

****I'd like to thank everyone who joined my in my 444th post celebration. In case you missed who the winners of the giveaway were, click here.

If you've got a Friday Fragments post, feel free to share your link here:

Thousand Words Thursday

One of my cousins uploaded this photo to our family's Facebook page recently. I really love it, because considering the date, it really does say a thousand words. My mom (foreground) is four in the photo; too young to realize she was born at one of the most difficult times in history, The Great Depression. Big sister, Patsy, rests her hand on Elsie's shoulder in a gesture of sisterly love. My Uncle Bill, the only brother, takes up the rear, looking dashing even at that young age. To me, my Aunt Mary's face is the one that says the most. Of course, I can only guess at what she's thinking, but her eyes show maturity beyond her years. She holds the youngest, Charlotte.

Even though they grew up in tough times (and perhaps because of it), my mom and her siblings know the importance of family. They also know how to have fun, as evidenced by this post. Singing, too, was a big part of their lives, growing up, and continues to be today. For an example of how my silly mom and her sisters know how to have fun, watch this video from our family reunion talent show last summer. (Sorry it starts out vertical, but it soon turns over :)


With our economy tanking as it is today, I guess we can all learn from The Great Depression generation...

Family is important.
You can make your own fun.
Keep a song in your heart.

And know that things will get better.

For more posts about my mom, click here. And for more of Thousand Words Thursday, click here.

Wordless Wednesday

One of my all-time faves...1997, Brother and Sister Storytime

In Case You Need to Know...

Desperate for parenting advice you can use right now? I found these great videos at Howcast:

How to Deal with a Screaming Child While Shopping
How to Deal with Children Who Bite, from The Go-to Mom

And wow; for those with no hope of changing their kids, this is a good one: How to Detect a Lie

Especially for the men out there...How to Tell if Your Girlfriend's a Psycho or How to Catch a Winter Pike..

Do you think I should worry that Mr.4444 said, "Will you email that one to me?" when I laughingly read the title of this one aloud: "How to Ask Your Wife for a Divorce." (Yeah, he's a real comedian, that one.)

And finally, here's one for Weaselmomma: How to Shotgun a Beer.

What!? She loves beer! And she loves me! I know that, because she finally did her SHT for me! Here it is; Weaselmomma, in all her glory!

Thank you for that, Weaselmomma, and thank you for the Squirrel Award. I will pass it on just as soon as I remember what it's about. (Don't act all offended! You know you don't remember either! It's not my fault you waited months to display your SHT!)

Off to add Weaselmomma to the SHT Hall of Fame...where she clearly belongs!

P.S. Read yesterdays' post if you missed my Giveaway Winners!

And the Winners Are...

Woo Hoo!! Kendall picked the winners of my 444th Post Giveaway, and here's the play-by-play...

Here they are.....Giving them a little stir....Believe it or not, Kendall picked exactly four names, and each had chosen one of the prizes listed (there were NO doubles!)
So, that made it nice and easy....No need to fight over that poor singing goat! Soo....in case you can't seem them, the winners are...

Cookbook #1 Kristie! (You didn't leave an email or website, Kristie!!)
Cookbook #2 Nebraska Girl!
Kendall Kids Are Worth It-Kandee!
The Singing Goat-Liz!

Thanks to those who entered and spread the word about my parenting posts and Mrs.4444 Cooks! I will mail out the prizes by Friday (provided you send your addresses). And thanks for making me nod, smile, laugh, and sometimes cry with your beautiful posts, comments, and your friendship. I'm grateful for you all.

Growing up, I saw my family go through a lot of pets; parakeets, hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, and dogs (Dad hated cats and only let Mom get one after everyone was grown and out of the house.)

Because we were poor, pet care fell to the bottom of the budget; we did not (to my knowledge) ever take a dog to the vet, regardless of what the problem might be. Our dogs ran away regularly (maybe because they were hungry?), had no shots, and sometimes disappeared forever. I think that's why I have just never allowed myself to get too attached to pets.

I think I was about nine when Pepe (my grandma's cranky chihuahua that my mom had inherited) disappeared one day after a clearly-unbalanced brawl with a Great Dane. Poor thing spent ten days behind the couch before he abruptly disappeared and I was told that my brother had taken him to live with a girl chihuahau. Months later, on a bike ride with another brother (name withheld to protect the innocent), I learned the truth when said brother lifted a rock in the woods and showed me a pile of tiny bones. Obviously, it was a little traumatic for me.

My sisters are not like me on this front. Michelle, Mary, and Judy are devoted pet-lovers. (I'm not sure about my brothers.) I have no idea why I can't be bothered with emotional involvement in my pets.

Karen Z wrote that she is surprised that only 60% of pet owners purchase Christmas gifts for their pets.

I do have our pets vaccinated and spayed or neutered. When Cooper passes on to that kennel in the sky, I will be very, very sad, but not for my own loss. It will be for the kids and Mr.4444, who will be heartbroken.

I did cry when our favorite ever cat, Max, died, but it wasn't because I would miss him; it was more to say thanks, and Mr.4444 was really broken up about it.

Creative Parenting

Jay's post about his wife (but peripherally, about the torture that is brushing his son's teeth) reminded me of a great trick I developed when Kyle was little and hated having his teeth brushed. (I believe he was about 2 or 3 at the time.) I invited him to have his teeth brushed while he stood on his head. Yes, of course he thought I was silly, and boy did he go for it. In the beginning, I had to get the brush loaded and then help him get up there (and hold his feet with one hand and brush with the other, but we got it down to a science.) For at least six months (and every so often after that), I brushed Kyle's teeth as he stood on his head in the hallway, outside the bathroom, just because it was fun that way.

Hey, don't knock it; you can do a GREAT job brushing chompers from that position; just try it, and tell me I'm lying. (Am NOT!)

What are your creative ideas for getting kids to do things they don't want to do?

P.S. Today's the last day to enter my 444th Post Giveaway! Winners will be drawn some time after 5pm tonight, so watch your Readers for the results :)

Well, I'll have you know...

One day, while on a roadtrip with Grandma4444, we were talking about this and that when she interjected with, "Well I'll have you know...." Well, of course, we all stopped talking to listen, because this sounded important. Grandma continued, with enthusiasm, all eyes on her (except Mr.4444, of course, who was driving), "that I bought a new pair of shoelaces this week! They cost me exactly $1.49. And wouldn't you know it--they were the wrong size!!"

We were speechless, until we burst out laughing (Grandma, too.) Then we pelted her with questions like, "Really? What color were they?" and "How much did you say they cost?!" "Wow."

Grandma has all her marbles, so she knew we were teasing her. We all had a good laugh, and now, every now and then when we are bored, one of us will offer, out of the blue, "Well, I'll have you know....that I bought a new pair of shoelaces...and they were the wrong size," and we will all smile.

TerriTerri made me think of this today when I read her post called, This one time? At band camp? This leads me to ask....Does your family have any goofy sayings? If so, how did they come about?

If it wasn't attached... (Teacher Tips #2)

Have you ever said, "My son/daughter would lose his/her head if it weren't attached!?" If so, you have my condolences. I know this is a common problem, so when Won sent me this suggestion for a parenting post, I figured I'd post it here. She writes,

"My son in 6th grade is a bit scattered. He comes home from school only to announce that he forgot his book, homework, etc. I thought it was a problem exclusive to him. In talking to moms of kids the same age as mine, I find it's a common theme. And this is just elementary school! Next year, with switching classes and dealing with several different teachers/time constraints, it's logical to think the problem will only get worse. How do you suggest us parents support our children while making them responsible?"

Wow. GREAT question! And I applaud you for being proactive about middle school, Won.

First of all, I find that kids are better organized when they have tools to use. You can go all out to buy them a nice calendar to keep track of stuff, but if they weren't involved in the decision making process about what too to use, they are less likely to use it. That said, here are some tools that I find that work for many kids (in order of organization issue severity):

An AGENDA/Planner-Buy two or three right off the bat (you'll need backups for when he misplaces them.)

An EXPANDABLE FILE-Don't buy "poly," like this one. They are inexpensive and cute, but think about your kid; how long is it going to last? If you're just not sure she'll use it, go ahead and buy one of these cheap ones. It should last long enough to find out if it works for her, and you can buy a nicer one later if it does.

Try to find one with fabric or at least something durable. If you cannot afford one, ask your child's school (if he's in special education) to supply one as part of an IEP (It's a necessary tool for meeting an Organization IEP goal.) Label the tabs for him in order of the classes. I like 13 pockets, because one can be like an "In" box, and one can be the "Out" box for homeroom. Work for all classes can then be kept in ONE place. Handouts/books/or Yugioh cards do not belong in this folder; it's just for homework and should come home every single day, homework or not.

Routine-Speaking of homework, set aside the same time each day for homework, so that it becomes part of a routine, even when your child has "nothing to do," they can always read, listen to a book on tape, or even draw. A routine is an important way to develop responsibility. If your child knows she's going to have to sit there either way, you may find the "lost homework" suddenly is found.

Checklist-At any age, a checklist is nice. In the early grades, or even for some older kids, a visual checklist is a great idea; it's a list of things he needs to check off (or move a velcro symbol for) that help him thing through what needs to go to school. Ideally, this checklist is best completed the night before, after homework, so that the backpack is ready and at the door in the morning. I know, it's hard to remember this stuff. (Maybe you need a checklist, too?!) [For students with autism, a no-brainer solution that works GREAT is a visual schedule. If your child is autistic and does not have a visual schedule, you MUST consider making one of these.]

Extra Books-Ask the school to provide a second set of textbooks, so that "I forgot my book" is never a worry. If you do have to run back to school for books/homework, consider "charging" your child for gas and for the time. For example, tell him that if you had to spend 30 minutes going back to school for him, he can lose that amount of time in video games that night (or whatever leisure activity he enjoys). It's only fair. In addition, NEVER leave your child at home, messing around, while you go fetch his work; make him come with you. Also, if your child's teacher uses on-line materials or digital copies, ask him to email copies to you when he hands them out; the back-up copy always comes in handy.

Support-Being organized takes time. In our middle school, my most disorganized students have me for homeroom (I have only three kids for homeroom.) They also come to me at the end of the day to get organized for the trip home. I make sure every thing they need is in their backpacks when they leave, and I know what should be in their planners for homework (ideally), so when they return in the morning, I know what they should have. In a perfect world, the parent and child have taken time the night before to get organized for the next day, and Junior has everything (hasn't forgotten his homework/books at home.) Also, Educational Aides can help special ed students with this.

Support is good, but you don't want to carry your child too much. I find that sometimes, parents, teachers, and aides spend far too much time keeping up with student homework (in middle school, anyway), when the tools are there for students to keep track of it themselves. Last year, I started having my students check their own grades daily in the computerized program at school. Now, if they say, "Am I missing anything?" I point to the computer. I think this puts it back on them and teaches them a skill they'll need one day at a job; monitoring their own progress.

Communication-Something else you can do is to set up routine communication with your child's teachers. Use a notebook that goes back and forth, or skip the headaches by simply emailing each day a SHORT note such as, "Is there any homework tonight?" It's a real luxury to be able to check your child's grades every night via an on-line program, but kids always seem to have plausible excuses for missing assignments, "I GAVE her that; she probably just didn't get it in the gradebook yet." Recently, I've started having my students send an email home at the end of the day, and they copy me in. The email says what homework they have that night, what they finished, etc. This seems like a good idea for my older students.

Random Thought-If your child is extremely disorganized and not in spec ed, you might consider having him evaluated for A.D.D., which falls under OHI (Other Health Impairment, in Wisconsin). Whether you like labels or not, being in Spec Ed can protect your child if he has a genuine memory issue that interferes with organization (and results in late homework.) Just a thought....

The Big Guns-For the hardcore cases, sometimes you have to get down to the nitty gritty. Here's an example of something I came up with for an extremely disorganized eighth grader, who lost everything on an hourly basis and was always late to classes, because he was digging around for missing papers. Our Parent Network is FANTASTIC, and a volunteer grandpa made this shelf. It worked so well, that I asked a Boy Scout who needed an Eagle Project to make several more for our school, and he did.

There is one opening (labeled) for each class. He came in, shoved his math in the math slot, grabbed reading stuff and left. It was great. At the end of the day, we helped him think through what needed to go home.

Avoidance-Finally, if your child has all the tools in the world but still doesn't use them, you might look further at the homework. What's the issue? Does he hate writing? Could an AlphaSmart help? (I know it makes a big difference for some of my most difficult students.) Is the reading level of the textbook way over the reading skill level of your child? Could your child be excused from half of the math problems if he can demonstrate mastery of the other 10? Is it an emotional issue? If your child has an autism and is coming home and melting down on a regular basis, maybe accommodations should be made for homework. For example, I have one student in whose IEP I have written, "No homework that will not be part of a later assessment." (In other words, "no busywork.") Of course, modifications and accommodations are easier to get if your child is in spec ed, but even if he/she is not, I pray that your school is child centered and willing to look at what will help students be successful.

One more thing: If your child is spacey and disorganized, please avoid calling him/her names (even affectionately), as it can be hurtful and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Stay positive. Avoid saying things like, "He'd lose his head if it weren't attached!" Kids with poor organization skills often feel terrible about it, and if they think that they are hopeless, they may just stop working on it. (Don't feel bad if you do this; just stop, now that you know better :)

Parenting kids with organization issues is tough! I hope this has been helpful to many of you, and to others who have lasted through the post, Some of you have tips because you were that disorganized student (or adult!) and have developed other tricks/tips that have worked for you.

Your tips are also welcome!

Friday Fragments

Got pieces of your frazzled little mind that you don't want to discard but are afraid won't make complete post? Throw them all in a single Friday Fragments post, and feel your mind say, "Thanks. I needed that!" For more on how to join the FF fun, click on the FF button above.

****Okay, now I know this may not seem like a "Friday Fragment," but is absolutely, hands-down my favorite fragment found this week. Michelle sent it to me. Remember her Sassy Saturday post? If you didn't see it, go now, because this will be ten times as funny having seen her x-rated carrots. My favorite fragment this week is a tiny little comment left on Michelle's post, by Linda, of Log Cabin Dreamer. She offered,

"Well...where did you think baby carrots came from? ha ha ha."

So, Linda, I would like you to have this button. Do with it what you will, but know that you are hilarious.
****Have you entered my Giveaway in honor of my 444th post? Well, what are you waiting for? (The last day to enter is Monday, the 26th.) Right now, your odds of winning are about four in 46, which is pretty darned good! (I'm not a mathematician, but that's sort of close.)

****Heard, in the car last weekend, a random comment from a certain teenage daughter, "If I was being forced to drink my own pee, I would do it when it's clear. You know; when you're not dehydrated." I swear, we have never made this girl drink her own pee. Maybe she's been watching too much tv? For more disturbing talk in the car, read my Would You Rather post.

****Made Emeril's Twice-Baked Potato Casserole at Mrs.4444 Cooks this week. Good stuff!

****Found The NieNie Dialogues this week (thanks, Rambler) and found it very, very compelling, probably more than any blog I have ever read. Nie and her husband were in a deadly plane crash in August. Nie started her blog way before that, and it is filled with the happiest, most love-filled posts you will ever read. If you read through her archives, you will be inspired by what an incredible mother and wife she is. Her family has kept her blog up for her since August, and just this week, Nie returned to posting. I encourage you to read her blog and offer your prayers and support for her and her husband.

****Want to join in the Friday Fragments Conga line? Add your FRIDAY FRAGMENT post with Mr. Linky, below. (All other posts will be deleted, sorry.) Don't forget to say hello first!

Thousand Words Thursday

Several years ago, I came upon this young girl in a furniture store, and she really moved me, more than any piece of artwork I have ever seen. It was as if someone had flashed back to my child self, gently preserved her, and placed her right before me. I promptly took the bookends home and dropped one on the floor, breaking it beyond repair, but the other one has been with me ever since. To me, she speaks a thousand words (maybe even more)

....without making a sound. For more Thousand Words Thursday posts, visit Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy.

Four more days to enter my 444th Post Giveaway!!

Recommendations

On Saturday night, Kendall and I went to her first-ever drive-in restaurant; a Sonic that is new to us both. The burgers were very good (if you don't mind them putting in onions when you've asked them NOT to.) The cheese fries were okay, too, (if you don't mind eating them in a solid chunk because they're so old they stuck together.) All in all, it cost us $14 for the two of us to eat and have the experience of being waited on at our car. It was fun (the service was great) but I'm sure I won't be back, due to the price.

While I'm at it, I want to recommend No Country for Old Men. Although it was not at all what I expected (gentle, old men, maybe sitting on the porch talking about life, etc.) and was, in fact, a shoot-em-up movie filled with violence, it disturbed me a lot (Javier ???? really earned that Oscar nomination), and yeah, that's my kind of movie. So, if you, too, are a little twisted and don't mind lots of blood and shooting in movies, go for it!

Would You Rather Wednesday

Coincidentally, this very blog-worthy interaction occurred on the same day that I realized that Kel has a Would You Rather Wednesday feature on her blog. So, I figured Wednesday was the best day to post it. Head to The Girl in the Glasses for more insanity.

We're in the car, on what turned out to be a two-hour drive, when Kendall asks, "Dad, would you rather eat maggots, or an un-poisonous scorpion?"

Mr.4444 responds with, "I don't know...If you were up to your neck in diarrhea, and someone's going to puke on you, would you duck?

[This is where I grabbed the paper and pencil, seeing where this was going.]

Kendall: Would you rather eat a live mouse, or a dead rat?

Mr.4444: The rat, I guess. Would you rather drive a nail through your hand, or eat a bowl of puke?

Kendall: Your own puke?

Mr.4444: Dog puke. Sick-dog puke. [Is there any other kind??]

Kendall: I think I'll do the nail.

At this point, Mr.4444 gets out of the car for a few minutes, and Kendall continues...

Okay, Mom. Would you rather eat a chunk of Dad's tongue, about the size of those little ham chunks in a salad bar.... or a bowl of dead skin?

Me: Can I eat it on a salad?

Kendall: No.

Me: Um...the tongue, I guess. Would you rather wear a "mud mask" of dog poo, or eat a tablespoon of Dad's toe-punk on a cracker? [In our house, "toe punk" is the stuff that can be found beneath a toenail.]

She chose the cracker.

(I hope you weren't eating while you read this.)

444 posts, and this is the depths to which I've brought you?! I'll try to make it up to you; if you haven't already, enter my 444th Post Giveaway. And if you're game, tell me which one of these suggestions you would rather?

Totally Awkward Tuesday

Tova is sponsoring a new idea; Totally Awkward Tuesday, and when I read about how she is looking for totally awkward, embarrassing moments, I knew I had a prizewinner. I posted it first last June, but I'm sure those who read it before will vouch for it's excellent repeatability.

WARNING: USE THE RESTROOM AND SWALLOW YOUR COFFEE BEFORE READING THIS POST!!!

So, without further ado, I give you....

Why Kendall Might Wish I Did Not Work at Her Middle School

I have a beautiful floral skirt. It has many folds of light-weight fabric that swish when I walk and is very feminine. I was wearing it today when I used the restroom after school and then rushed off to help Kendall put on her makeup for the musical (encore performance). I walked against the flow of student traffic heading to the buses and then into the commons, where I stopped for a few minutes and talked with a parent before turning and heading into the auditorium.

The auditorium was filled with the sound of noisy, excited middle schoolers, who were waiting for the director to give them their pre-show pep-talk. I found Kendall down in the front and started to ask where she wanted to go to put the makeup on when a little girl rushed up to her and whispered in her ear. I could tell she was talking about me, and I looked down at my front and patted everything to make sure I looked alright. Kendall then turned to me and quietly said, "Mom. Your skirt is tucked in your underwear."

"What?! O M G!!"

Now I must interject here to tell you that I do not like thong underwear. That said, I do have a couple of pairs that I only wear when desperate. Today. Was. Laundry. Day.

Holding my breath, I reached back and placed my hand on a totally BARE BUTT CHEEK!!!

As is my way, I began to laugh, hard. I laughed til Kendall and all of her friends were laughing (and looking a little uncomfortable). I laughed until I cried and Kendall asked, "Mom, are you okay?? Do you need a hug?!" (and gave me one). I settled down a bit as I turned to scan the faces in the crowd (only about 50 kids or so), trying to catch anyone who might be staring at me, wide-eyed. (They either hadn't noticed or were really polite.) One of the girls nearby said, "I was walking behind you in the commons, and I didn't think it looked that bad."

I was kind of in shock, but I wanted to ask, "You mean my butt? Or my messed up skirt?!" I was trying to minimize embarrassment to Kendall, so I dropped it.

I seriously have a headache right now from telling this story to people at school, and laughing, and crying. (This was just the kind of levity needed this time of year, so I spread the story like mad before anyone else could.) I'm pretty sure I'll be hearing it again (at my retirement party), and that's okay with me, because it could have been worse...

I could have walked into my classroom like that.
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P.S. In case you missed it, come check out my Giveaway, in honor of my 444th post!

My 444th Post and Giveaway!

Hurray! I've arrived at my 444th post, which, to me, is a fun milestone to celebrate! Who knew it would start as homework (I started this for a class I was taking) and turn into a home-away-from home? I want to first thank all of you who take time out of your busy days to stop by and say hi, smile, laugh, encourage, and just set a spell. I treasure your friendship (and you lurkers out there!)

So, in honor of my 444th post (tomorrow), I was going to give away 444 prizes, but then I figured my cart would get too full at Walmart, so I've narrowed it down to one prize each to four different winners!!! (Quit your complaining! Like mom always says, "Beggars can't be choosers!" Now get in line and settle down. No need to trample anyone.)

First, an autographed copy of Barbara Coloroso's Kids Are Worth It! Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline. If you don't win the book, I strongly encourage you to purchase it; it will be a great investment. Among many other things, you'll find out if you are a Brick-Wall, Jellyfish, or Backbone Parent, how to solve sibling rivalry problems, and my favorite: Getting Your Kid Out of Jail and other Mega Problems. Seriously, this book has been a bible for me over the years, and I have two great kids to show for it.

Second, this absolutely ADORABLE "Cuddly Crooner," which has three functions. One: to cuddle with, of course! (It's very snuggly!) Two: It's a hand-puppet (supposedly a goat)! and Three: It "sings" The Lonely Goatherd" song from The Sound of Music when you squeeze its ear, spit in its eye, or something like that (I can't remember!)I loved this thing when I found it a couple of years ago, and I bought two, but I've never found a purpose for the second one, so it is still in it's packaging. I have to add (as a Public Service Announcement) that this thing is perfect for a grandparent to give to a grandchild, especially if you want to drive your kids crazy. While I love it, others might not appreciate the "yodelayhee, yodelayheeho, etc." Wait a minute; I'm having second thoughts; his thing is cute as heck! Okay, okay, I'll part with it!

Third (and Fourth, sorry, I can't think of anything else and I'm broke!) a copy of my family's cookbook, Hungry for More: A Second Helping of Draeger Descendants with a Dash of Family History. As others will attest (Come on, you guys, attest!) this is a very special book that offers not only recipes, but also funny, sweet stories about my mom and others you would love to meet.

To enter, comment on this post. If you blog about any of my parenting posts (Respect, Family Identity, Education & Limits/Boundaries, Attention, or Follow-Through) or my Mrs4444 Cooks blog and provide the link in a separate comment on this post, you will earn four more entries (Don't worry; I'll put your name in the "hat" the four extra times; you won't have to leave four more comments.)

No need to Twitter, Follow, do SHT's or promise your first-born child. However, you'll need to tell me which prize you would like, if you have a preference. (See, I don't always listen to my mom; I'm letting you "beggars" choose!) Winners will be drawn the old-fashioned way, with Kendall doing the drawing on Monday, January 26th at 5pm.

Thanks, Everybody! Good luck! :)

Fabulous!

Jennie B, at Learning to Adjust, can do a fabulous "Stupid Human Trick!" Check this out:

She did it to go along with this award, which I have been coveting for days....Thank you, Jennie!! As far as I'm concerned, anyone who can tie a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue, write a blog, and be a terrific mom at the same time deserves this award! (If you can do all three, by all means, take it!) Don't be afraid to stop over at Jennie's to compliment her on this feat (and her cute little boy). She doesn't get a lot of company over there and is a great hostess!

Okay, now for the rules: Name five things I am addicted to and pass the award on. I've decided to kill five birds with one stone and list five blogs to which I am addicted! That should cover it! (This list is by no means complete, BTW!)

Jen-Cheaper than Therapy (Yes, Jen. It's another award. Where are you hiding them all, BTW?)
Charrette-Divergent Pathways I love the way Charrette writes with her heart and soul.
Post Secret, of course
Kel, The Girl in the Glasses Check out her Would You Rather Wednesdays; funny stuff!
MomoFali-Always making me laugh (and sometime cry)

These bloggers are a handful of many fabulous folks who hang out around here! (And BTW, ALL of you are invited back on Monday for my big 444th Post Giveaway!!)

Thanks, again, Jennie, and I am now off to post your trick in the Good SHT's Hall of Fame! :)

Small Victories

Birdie doesn't let me swear, so I'll have to just say I had a SPITTY day last Wednesday. That's why I was happy to see this assignment (which was handed in this week) when grading papers on Friday (In my bathrobe! No school! Yea!) It's an 8th grade student's "credo," or a list of 10 things he believes. This simple piece of paper, with its short, simple lines, made me feel a little better.


I Believe
by Joe Student

I believe the bible is fake
I believe god is not real
I believe clowns are evil
I believe you can't live without girls
I believe foster care sucks
I believe [ThisTinyTown] is boring
I believe school is boring
I believe winter is cold
I believe Mrs4444 is decent
I believe everyone is mean.


I'm choked up here, you guys. Seriously.

Thanks, Kid.

Friday Fragments

Yea! It's Friday; time to unload all of those fragments from your week! (Click the logo above to learn more about FF.)

*First, and foremost, WOOT WOOT!!!!! No school again today!! I SO needed the respite! (Thank you, God.) Okay, I'm ready now...

*Each week, I choose a Favorite Friday Fragment from the previous week and award this fabulous button:The winner this time is Tena, of My Therapy, for this gem, which many of us can relate to this time of year:

Had to go to an open house last night for my son's new high school. I had to part with my beloved jammie pants with the forgiving elastic waist and wiggle my way into pants with an actual button and zipper. It is 'pants', plural, because it took 4 pair till I found one that didn't restrict my breathing. I am, however, much closer to 'being ready' to get over my loser status and back into a workout regime....as soon as the chocolate pie in the fridge is gone- I SWEAR!

Congratulations Tena, and thanks for the laugh.

*Kendall's souvenirs look even better than I thought in her bedroom! How awesome is this?!*In case you missed them, here's my "Mrs4444 on Parenting" posts on Education and Structure/Limit-Setting, Attention, and most recently, Follow-Thru/Consistency . I also made Split Pea Soup with Ham over at Mrs4444 Cooks, so check that out if you are so bold!

*Liking my parenting advice, but anxious for more immediate answers? Elizabeth Pantley has a website for you. She has a book called the No-Cry Nap Solution: Guaranteed Gentle Ways to Solve All of Your Naptime Problems, plus many other no-cry solution books that look promising. I'm hoping to win her book sets giveaway so that I can give them away again! (I'll keep you posted.)

*Ever wonder which states Google porn the most often? (I know, me too!) Like Statistics? Now, there's a website to answer the question: Which state Googles ____________ the most? StateStats, which I found via Veryshortlist.com is very interesting! It compares Google searches with other state stats. For example, the site shows that Florida, North Carolina, and Georgia Google "plastic surgery" the most. It made me wonder why California wasn't highest on this list, but then I figured everyone there has already had their fill! heehee (JUST KIDDING, my Californian friends!)

If you have a FRIDAY FRAGMENTS post, feel free to add your link here, and don't be afraid to pay a visit to other fragmented folks on the list :) And P.S. If you do a FF post, please be so kind as to give me a little Linky Love on your site; I appreciate it. NOTE: I have no idea what happened to the links that were here earlier!! I can see the Html code here, but they aren't showing up! I did a little investigating and found that ALL OF THE MR.LINKY LINKS IN THE BLOGIVERSE HAVE DISAPPEARED TONIGHT! Can't even get into the site! Hope it resolves soon....

Parent-of-the-Year, NOT

I just got home from school. I normally have very fine blood pressure, but today, I'm guessing it is high, because my ears are pounding, and I feel pressure behind my eyes. Why? Because I am out of my mind frustrated you, Mrs. Enabler!! I am sick and tired of you lying to me about how you hold your punk brat prince son accountable at home for his behavior at school. I am sick and tired of you telling me that he is going to "get a talking to," when in reality, he doesn't give two boogers of care about anything you say to him.

Today, Junior says, "I'm not going to any of that work." (and by "work," he means two math problems and four vocabulary words, which he could have done in class, had he decided to do anything today.) I said, "That's fine. You can do it at home. Your mom said she'll be expecting it." His reply?

"If she wants me to do the work, she can come and get it herself." He left it on a table in my room. I sent his mom his message via email, with quotes. She said, "Oh, we are going to have a little talk tonight!"

The bell rang for the end of the day, and Junior left. He went to a friend's house (instead of riding the bus home) to hang out for a couple of hours. His mom said, "I guess he didn't get my text or something, telling him he couldn't go. I'm at work, so I can't go pick him up." I don't know about you, but if that was my kid, he'd be walking home (2 degrees or not!)

I just want to choke her, People. I'm serious. I bust my butt with this kid every day, and because has no accountability at home, he doesn't care about a single consequence. (It probably comes as not shock to know that this is the same parent to whom I wrote, Dear Parent Who Does Her Son's Homework for Him. ) He is likely to continue this behavior tomorrow, and I don't know if I can take another day of this.

What am I supposed to do? I wish Child Welfare cared about stuff like this, but they do not. I guess I am going to have to just sit this woman down and tell it like it is; "If you are not going to hold your child accountable at home, I cannot make any progress with him at school." But I'm sure it's not going to make a difference; we've been through this before. GRRRRRRRRR!! I guess I'll talk to my principal (who is great)....

Or maybe I should just start drinking?

Mr.4444 is making dinner...at least I have that going for me. :)

Thanks for letting me vent!

What People Won't Do....

What would you call a woman who waits til her FOUR children are in bed and then does this I would call her determined, stubborn, funny, sweet, playful, coordinated, and wonderful. Now that's what I'm talkin' about! This is Mel's response to my requirement of a Stupid Human Trick (SHT) to accept awards and pass them on. I guess she really meant it when she gave me this "Beautiful" award and the Lemonade Award. Thanks, Mel!!And in the spirit of the SHT, since I've already shown you mine, I will now show you Kendall's most amazing SHT:Okay, now you do it.Silly girl; she says, "Mom, make sure you tell them they don't put their hands on their hips like normal; it only works if you put your hands thumbs-forward." See if it makes any difference for you! (She cracks me up!)

And, because many of you have dared, I have now made a special place of honor for the SHTs of gift-givers past. (See it; over there, the new button in my sidebar?) Thanks, you guys. You are AWESOME.

And now for a re-gifting of sorts! I hereby award the Lemonade Stand (to people who make lemonade when life gives them lemons) and the Beautiful award to...

Michelle
Kandee
Country Girl
Kazzy, the Ponderer
Valerie

I give these awards free of any commitment (no tricks needed). Pass them on or just relax and enjoy them; your choice!

Updates

In case you were wondering...

Mom's Shoulder-Over the course of two months, Mom's shoulder has healed up nicely. She really enjoyed being waited on by her kids and escorted everywhere but is happy to have the go-ahead from her doctor to drive again. (I wish I could be as enthusiastic about my almost-80-year-old mom driving, but I can't. I've offered to drive her whenever I can after school, and I hope she takes me up on it.)

Molly-Molly is doing as well as any mother who lost a child can be doing two months later. She has asked for (and received) a leave of absence, of sorts, so that she can better focus on healing. She appreciates all of the prayers and kindness sent her way during this tough, tough time. Keep 'em coming, because the court proceedings for the heroin dealer have begun, and Molly is committed to attending each and every one.

Charlie-Charlie has been doing great! The other day, he came into my homeroom and announced cheerfully, "You know what, Mrs.4444? I'm going to miss you when I go to high school [a year and a half from now] . "I'll miss you, too," I replied with a smile. "If you want," he offered, "you can come over to my house some time. You know how to get there, right?" Sure, Charlie. Some day when I have nothing to do, I am going to go hang out at your house. Cute.

Beany-Still no word on what happened to Kathy McBroom, aka Beany, who disappeared in November. I wish her kids would update her blog in some way, but I understand that they must be just so troubled...please keep them in your prayers.

My 444th post is a week away! Today, I received an autographed copy of the international best seller, Kids Are Worth It: Giving Your Kids the Gift of Inner Discipline (revised edition) and I'm excited about giving it to a lucky winner! The giveaway will start next week, so stay tuned.

Hope your week is off to a great start!

P.S. My sweet friend, Birdie has been AWOL from the Internet for about a week. (I knew she was bad off when she stopped Twittering!) Please be a dear and pop over to wish her Get-Well wishes (her head hurts so bad, she can't look at the computer screen for more than a couple of minutes, but she'll be back eventually!)

It's Possible!

Some of you will remember that last year, Kendall played JoJo in Seussical, The Musical. I wish you could have seen it; it put many high school musicals to shame, and sold out three shows. The kids were phenomenal.

On Saturday, the leads from the cast got together to dismantle the Seussical set in preparation for this year's musical, Bye Bye Birdie. They worked for a few hours, took photos, ate pizza, and sang songs from the show. (Of course, it was bittersweet.)

The show's director invited the kids to take parts of the set home as memorabilia. Kendall picked the showerhead from "It's Possible," and this: Not sure how I'm going to fit them (the footboard and headboard) in my Honda tomorrow, but I'll find a way to get it home. "Anything's possible...."
************************************************************************************
And finally....for those who are interested, after weeks of notes, organizing, and drafts, I'm finally ready to roll out my "Mrs.4444 on Parenting" posts! Parenting, and especially discipline, is such broad topic! I feel really good about what I've narrowed it down to, and I think you'll find it useful and, at times, entertaining. I've decided to put all of the parenting posts on my overflow page (More Good Stuff), so without further ado, I give you the first installment: Preventative Discipline-Education and Limit-Setting.

Would you pass the test?

Jen, at Cheaper Than Therapy recently wrote about a re-occurring nightmare about being unprepared for exams, in college. (No, she's not a student.) I commented that she is probably just worried about not being able to keep up with everything she's got on her plate. It got me thinking.... What if you had a blogging exam to take? Since you spend so much time reading blogs, that exam might have questions such as:

1. Which daddy blogger is working on parlaying his genius into a fiction book?
a) Literal Dan, "a lazy, procrastinating shell of a man who can only function within the framework of compulsive habits?"
b) Zoesdad
c) MattDaddy
d) The Busy Dad

2. True/False Sometimes, infertility is funny.

3. Which bloggers currently have Giveaways for Fruit Roll-ups, Tiny Prints Cards, a Hoover Vacuum Cleaner, or some very cool camera strap covers?
a) Two of a Kind, Working on a Full House
b) The Mom Jen
c) MomDot
d) The Secret is in the Sauce
e) all of the above

4. Which blogger writes regularly about her annoying husband, who needs to get back to work full-time?
a) Tenakim
b) Weaselmomma
c) Janice
d) all of the above
e) none of the above

5. Essay-Write a post-length essay on how to monetize your blog and increase traffic, all while keeping up with the laundry, pleasing your husband/wife, taking care of your kids, dismantling your Christmas decor, and maintaining your self-respect.

6. Blogger Etiquette True/False: Anyone who does not reply to each and every comment on each and every post on his/her blog should be flogged (or forced to re-gift 65 blogging awards.)

7. Fill-in-the blank: Which blogger can regularly make you laugh until you almost pee your pants and spit coffee on your monitor? __________________

8. Which blogger has received the honor of being nominated for the 2009 weblog awards in the categories of Best Writing, Best-Kept-Secret, and Best New Blog? (See nominees in all categories here. Voting closes on the 13th!)
a) Tara
b) The Scholastic Scribe
c) none of the above

9. Which blogger(s) gives readers faith in the triumph of the human spirit over adversity and make you want to stand up and cheer for her every day?
a) Heather, of Singing with My Heart
b) Finding Normal
c) Broken Won
d) Jackal
e) Amy, at Our Daily Blessings
f) The Weird Kid
g) all of the above, plus many more

10. Use "feed" "rss" and "reader" in a sentence that indicates your complete understanding of these blogging terms.

We spend tons of time reading and commenting; the laundry piles up, along with the dishes. It's like a job, only better. Thank God it's fun and we don't have to take exams. But if we did, how would you have done on this one??

P.S. Literal Dan is not lazy (that I know of). I just came across that quote (from him, on his own blog) and thought it would be hilarious to post here.

Surprising even myself!

While I often get compliments on my cooking (potluck stuff, baked goods, and the occasional non-Hamburger Helper casserole, etc.), I don't consider myself a "good cook," because I use recipes. To me, the sign of a truly good cook (Mr.4444) is someone who makes up his/her own recipes or at least knows what to add when making a dish that "needs a little something." That's not me, typically, so I am VERY proud to say that I recently made something from scratch without a recipe, for the first time ever!! Because I had no faith in myself, I did not take photos along the way, but my soup turned out YUMMY!! Here's the only shot I took:The ingredients I chose included home-canned tomatoes (not really canned; we just blanched, peeled, and froze garden tomatoes from a neighbor--Thanks, Ron and Wendy!!), chorizo sausage, salt, pepper, a can of tomato soup, some water, and some Parmesan cheese. I know; it's very basic, but I did it on my own, so I am very proud. (Sorry I can't offer you some.)

I will admit to being able to find some dandy recipes, and if this looks good to you, head here to see what I look like at 9 in the morning (before a shower!) and find out how to make this mouth-watering muffin!

This Just In!

Just a quick bonus post to say how much I would love to win one of thesefrom Dee of Two of a Kind, Working on a Full House. Especially on a night like tonight, wouldn't it be nice to snuggle up in a Slanket? Visit Dee's site to enter, and watch for her new giveaways every day!

Friday Fragments

Ever wonder what to do with all of those extraneous thoughts you have during the week, which you hate to throw away, but don't think they'd be good for a stand-alone post? Welcome to Friday Fragments, where we throw them all together and gain some closure! (For more about Friday Fragments, click the button above.)

***Guess what?! I'm about a week away from my 444th post! It's not 4444, but I still think it calls for a little celebration, don't you?! I'm thinking I should have a Giveaway, maybe? I'm open to suggestions (and feel free to email me if you have something you'd like to donate to the giveaway!)

***This fragment from Nonna made me laugh out loud. It's her grandson's response to seeing this photo on her computer screen:

"Look, that's me when my eyes used to be red!" LOL the poor kid actually thought his eye color was red and then changed to blue. guess i need to get out the photoshop and fix all of those red eyes."

Nonna, your fragment was my Favorite Friday Fragment, so help yourself to this award if you like! :)

***GRRRR. I just worked on that danged Discipline post for an hour before losing it to a computer malfunction! Sooooo frustrating! Just wanted you to know I'm working on it, though it might be a book by the time I'm done with it!

***Tongue update: In case you were wondering, my tongue looks the SAME after two months. I've been "diagnosed" with glossitis, which will "eventually go away." (Yes, Jill, I did have a biopsy; at least I know it's not cancer. Thanks for worrying about me :)

***Yea! I received Heather's Favorite Things package last weekend (from her Giveaway.) Looky what I got!!

THREE books, some make-up, Bath & Body stuff, and some very tasty candy. Heather, you rock!! You're awesome for lots of reasons, but today, because I love my goodies!! Thanks.

***It's the perfect time of year for chili...Check out my White Chicken Chili, recipe courtesy of Charrette, at Mrs.4444 Cooks.

Have a TERRIFIC weekend! And if you have a Friday Fragments post, join the Conga line here:

Thousand Words Thursday

Thousand Words Thursday is the genius idea of Cheaper Than Therapy (Jen), who also has a new Review Blog you might want to check out; there are lots of giveaways over there!) For more pictures that say a thousand words, visit Jen's Blog!

In case the photo doesn't tell you enough (and since I like to talk) I'll explain the photo. It's my nephew,Caden, a couple of years ago, after he was "bitten" by this guy:Poor kid; completely traumatized. So much so, that he has nightmares, even today. Sometimes it's buffalo, and sometimes it's spiders....

Okay, he does not have buffalo nightmares (or any nightmares that I know of.) I'm just trying to transition to this link, which is totally cute! If you are a brother or have a brother, Michelle's post will be especially funny to you! Stop over and get your laugh for the day!